Cold to the Touch
by Meet-My-Dedication
Summary: Growing up changes a kid. That realization turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy. The reluctance to grow up contradicts the process of aging. Jamie never wanted to turn into an angry, unapproachable, pitied teenager and of course that's exactly where he ended up. Just another cliche' in a sea of adolescents... Fuck.
1. Chapter 1

Valentine's Day in the small town of Burgess was one of the most awkward times for 17-year-old Jamie Bennett. He'd grown up with all of his classmates and any girls he'd known from childhood were like his sisters. So when he noticed a small red envelope fall from his locker, a blush wasn't enough to express his nervous fear. Jamie slammed his locker shut and flung a scarf around his neck. He stuffed the red note into his pocket, not wanting to be seen reading it in public. He stormed out of the school doors and into the cold February air. The wind hit him like ice, and he held his nose between his hands to keep it warm.

"Thanks for the weather, Jack." Jamie muttered sarcastically to the mischievous winter spirit. The brunette shook his head in disappointment when the frigid wind offered no sign that the Guardian was there at all. Jamie still remembered, all those years ago, of the night he had seen the 300-year-old teenager for the first time. Jack's surprised face when he realized Jamie could hear him. The relieved and thankful expression when Jamie could _see _him. He looked so happy.

Jamie had wished to see the spirit again over and over as the years went by, to be the object of his smile once more. But the brunette hadn't seen Jack Frost since the day they fought Pitch together and Sandman's dream dust sent the children witnesses into a deep sleep. He'd woken up in his bed the next day; the green fluorescent feathers from one of the tooth fairies on his pillow were the only physical reminder of what had happened the night before... And that night was seven whole years ago.

Jamie's thoughts were dragged away from the mysterious winter spirit as he lost his gripping on a patch of ice in front of his door. He balanced as quickly as he could, and remembered the red envelope in his hand. He stared at it for a second then shook his head before opening the front door.

And, sadly, the little bit of paper was the first thing his sister noticed.

"Wassat?" Sophie asked, tilting her head.

"Nothing." Jamie stomped his boots on the doormat to remove the snow. He shoved the note in his pocket and took off both wet shoes.

"Why're you hiding it?"

"No reason." Jamie took two steps to his room, only to be stopped when the paper was tugged from his jacket.

"Sophie, give it back." He commanded calmly and reached for it. Despite Sophie jumping up and down on the couch and dodging Jamie's long arms as they grabbed for his little sister, he eventually retrieved the note.

"Lemmie see it, Jamie!" She reached for the paper, extending her small arm across Jamie's.

The brunette's younger sister was persisting, but Jamie held the small piece of red paper tightly in his hand.

"Sophie, no. Get off of me." Sophie had attached herself to Jamie's back, attempting to grab the note from her brother's grip. Being relatively small for her age, Sophie was no match for Jamie as he elbowed her in the chest, not hard, but just enough to get her off his back… literally.

"Ow!" the blonde exclaimed as she released her brother. She fell back onto the couch and glared up at Jamie. "MOOOMMY!" Came her cry. "JAMIE HURT ME!"

"Calm down, you two." Their mother said from the other room. "Sophie, do you want to go with me to the grocery store?"

"Yes!" Sophie quickly forgot about her injury.

Jamie rolled his eyes. Nine-year-olds were so easy to distract.

"Is that a 'balentine?" The blonde turned her attention back to her brother.

"It's 'Valentine', Sophie. And no it's not." He lied. He knew exactly what the card was, but every time he thought of who it might have come from, he felt an uncomfortable sensation in his gut.

"I thought you were too old to write 'balentines." The child ignored her brother.

"I didn't write it…"

"Did summun give it to you?"

"Yeah." Jamie slung his bag over one shoulder and headed for his room.

"Waaat?" Sophie said, her bare feet hanging over the sofa. "A girl likes you?" Jamie just sighed and continued to walk up the stairs. "Do you like her? Are you guys gonna get married? Are you gonna get her a puppy? Jamie, answer. Jamie, listen to me! Jamie? MOMMY JAMIE'S NOT LISTENING TO MEEE—"

The teenager slammed his bedroom door shut and cut off his sister's shrieks. With a defeated _flop,_ he fell onto his bed, flinging the red envelope out of his hand on the way down. Jamie covered his tired brown eyes with his arm and attempted to ignore the paper glaring at him from its place on his desk. His leg began to twitch and soon curiosity got the better of his embarrassment. He sat up and stared at the bright red paper, dreading what it might contain. Nevertheless, he reached over and held the note firmly in his hand once again. Another moment to glare at it, and Jamie was soon tearing open the top seal. He tentatively began reading the loopy cursive the note contained…

_Dear Jamie,_

_I don't know if you feel the same way, but I've liked you for a really long time. I know this is sudden, and you probably wouldn't want to go out with a girl like me, but I'd be ecstatic if you did._

_Anyway, if you want, please meet me behind the back building tomorrow after school so you can respond._

_Happy Valentine's Day._

_Love, Pippa_

Jamie groaned and fell back onto his bed again. He curled to his side and covered his blushing face. "No, not Pippa..." He shook his head, trying to clear his mind of what he had just read. "No, no, no, no, _no,_noonono" He repeated over and over again. It wasn't that he didn't like Pippa. The problem was that he _did_like her. But as a friend and sister. He knew he couldn't do anything to make the whole situation less awkward. He couldn't act as if he hadn't seen the Valentine, because Pippa knew Jamie well enough to know when he was lying. But then again, he couldn't reject her feelings, because she was one of his best friends, and adding a broken heart to that relationship would leave severe damage.

The brunette let out an aggravated scream, throwing a pillow on his face to muffle it. He missed the days when everything was less complicated. When it would just be him and his friends playing in the park on a simple winter afternoon. Valentine's Day meant nothing to them but candy to eat in pretty red boxes. There were no feelings to get in the way, to hurt or break. No rigorous high school and complicated emotions that would slowly etch away the smiles of Jamie's friends.

Jamie was the last of the six to lose his smile. But, eventually, it happened. He kept holding onto the belief that the Guardians would always be there to protect him from the dangers and fears of the world. But as he kept getting older, and knew he only had a few years before he was expected to act like an adult, that belief fell. Slowly at first, like the steady freezing of a pond before snow. First, a few crystallized fears of high school began icing the surface of his hope. Then other issues began coating. His first essay assignment, the pressure of a test, the glares in the hallways from judgmental eyes. It took until his junior year for Jamie's hope and belief to ice over completely. He felt his fear of the real world and responsibility taunting the back of his mind almost constantly. As if Pitch Black himself had made Jamie his sole subject of interest.

His fear kept growing and freezing his confidence with every day. The nights drove him crazy. He no longer had dreams. Just darkness. Not even nightmares kept the empty space in his head full. What happened to the beautiful dreams he used to have as a kid? Jamie would often stay up late into the night, staring up at his dark ceiling, just to see if Sandman would appear to drift him off to sleep. But night after night, there was nothing. No sign of the gold dust that would flow through the air and trigger a child's dreams. At that point, Jamie wouldn't care if the magic dust he saw was black, just as long as he could confirm that he hadn't imagined the best night of his life.

Jamie stared out his window. A few weeks, maybe even a year after the night he met Jack, his window would always be the subject of his thoughts. The brunette would always glance at it, searching for the beautiful etchings of frost that meant Jack was near. For the designs that had magically been drawn on the glass. The image of a rabbit that would leap from the frosty window and dance around his room. Every day back then was desperately waiting for that window to show any sign of magic, every glance never rewarded.

But Jamie knew, as much as he denied it, that those wonderful childhood memories would never return. He knew he was growing up and he needed to let go of any faith he had in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Sandman, and the Easter Bunny. And he especially needed to forget about Jack Frost.

"_Especially_ Jack." Jamie repeated quietly and bit back stubborn tears. He suddenly shot up and stormed to his window. He flung the glass panes open and screamed as loud as he could. No words, just one long scream to let go of all the stress he'd felt building up over the years. This didn't help of course, and Jamie felt himself getting angry. Angry at the ones who promised they'd protect him from his fears.

Jamie slammed his hand on the frame. "WHERE ARE YOU?!" Came his desperate cry to no one. There was a normal hum of the town below him, save a passersby surprised by his outburst. Jamie saw no trace of anything mystic or out of the ordinary. His eyes darted around the sky, ground, trees, desperately searching for a sign of some kind. After what seemed like ages, his hand fell and he reluctantly closed the window. Jamie's forehead rested on the frostless glass and he shut his eyes tight, fighting the headache that was forming. He clenched his fist and just wished he could forget about the Guardians. He loved them so much, but how could he love someone who had betrayed him? And at a time when Jamie needed them the most. He needed those wondrous, magical beings fighting away the fear in his life and then all of them playing in the snow after they'd defeated the responsibilities of adulthood. He needed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Someone to tell him that it was going to be okay. Because he really needed to have some fun instead of worry about things.

But, hell; Jamie needed Jack now more than ever.

The brunette fell back onto his bed, not caring when the old springs threatened to snap upon impact. He covered his face and began clawing at his cheeks and eyes.

"I just want to be happy again!" He managed through sobs. "I was so happy when you were here! Why did you leave me?! Why, Jack?! WHY?"

Jamie remained curled on his bed, occasionally thrashing as he cried. He was glad his mother and Sophie had left already; otherwise they'd have heard the ill noises he was making and come up to check on him. But he didn't want help from them. They couldn't take away his fears. They hadn't fought _Fear_ _himself. _The only person Jamie wanted was Jack, and he couldn't have him.

Another half an hour and Jamie's fit had dwindled down to a few tears. He lay face-up in his bed and studied the white ceiling above him. He wished he couldn't feel a thing. He wished he was the carefree kid he used to be who believed in monsters and fairytales and everything wonderful about the world. Jamie didn't understand why such innocence had to be taken from him. Why he had to grow out of such beliefs.

"I'm growing up, Jack…" Jamie found himself speaking to the empty room as if the winter spirit was still with him. "I'm growing up, and I _hate _it."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed some angsty!Jamie, because there's plenty more where that came from.**

**Chapter 2 should be up this weekend. - December 7, 2012**


	2. Chapter 2

Jamie was dreading the day before he even got out of bed. Because he knew that as soon as he decided to rise, he'd have to face the cold snow that had piled on the streets overnight. He'd trudge through it, without given the chance to play in the wonderfully packable snow, and head off to school. Winter used to be Jamie's favorite season, but now its beautiful wonder seemed to be taunting him. As if each snowflake knew that he wouldn't be able to enjoy it. Jamie had slipped on ice three times, falling into the wet snow only twice. And he'd had four snowballs thrown at him by some elementary school kids on their way to school. Jamie couldn't think of anyway this day could get worse. Oh, but he couldn't forget the fact that later today he would be ruining his friendship with Pippa forever.

Yay Tuesdays.

He felt jittery. It was almost like ice was breathing down his neck the whole day. He kept feeling the sensation of being watched and assumed it was every eye in the school staring at him.

_You're a terrible person._ Jamie flinched as he imagined what everyone was thinking.

_She's your best friend._

_Jerk._

_Just go ahead and break her heart, I'm sure she won't mind._

His shoulders were stiff and he took a quick glance at his classmates as they went about their own business.

"_Calm down_." Jamie breathed a reminder to himself. _I'm sure if I explain it nicely and reject her politely, she won't feel so bad. Our friendship will be ruined, but at least she won't be too upset. _

His last strand of confidence, however, was torn apart when he found himself waiting behind the back building after school. He was about to change his mind until Pippa rounded the corner, smiling when she saw Jamie standing there.

"I didn't think you'd come." Her relieved expression made the brunette feel worse.

"Yeah, well..." Jamie shrugged and his nervous hands clenched the insides of his pockets.

"So?" Pippa pressed her friend to continue.

"So..." Jamie swallowed hard. "Listen, Pippa. I... I'm really sorry, but..." He didn't even want to look as her expression fell, knowing what his reply would end up being. His hand found the back of his neck and began rubbing it anxiously. "I like you a lot; you're my best friend...But I just don't like you... like _that_. I'm... I'm so sorry."

He glanced up and saw Pippa covering her face. She wasn't crying, Jamie was glad to notice, but when she looked up, her expression was... disappointed?

"Is... Is that the only reason?"

"Wha...?" Her question threw him off. "I think it's a pretty important reason..."

"Well, yeah, but, Jamie... I just... I don't know." She shook her head. Jamie was grateful that she wasn't to the point of tears or ripping his face off, but her current reaction just confused him.

"No, Pippa, what do you mean?" He intrigued, because he wouldn't understand unless she just flat-out told him. Hadn't "I don't like you like that" been a good enough reason? Hell, wasn't it the _only_ reason?

"I think... the real reason... you don't want to go out with me is," She bit her lip and crossed her arms tight against the cold. "That you're too attached to somebody else..." She looked at him expectantly, as if he should have known.

"I'm... what? No, Pippa. You know I don't like somebody else. Well, _anybody_, really... I haven't dated, like... anyone..." He hated this awkward confusion.

"That's not what I mean."

"Then what _do_ you mean? You're not making any sense, Pippa. I just rejected your love confession. Shouldn't you at least be _angry_ at me?" Jamie's voice rose. "Stop dancing around the subject and just _tell me_."

Pippa looked offended. She just stared at Jamie. This was the most animated she'd seen him get in a while. After a moment, her expression turned; she shouldn't have to explain something so obvious.

"Alright, I'll tell you, Jamie Bennett." Seeing her attitude, Jamie wished he hadn't asked her to get angry with him. "I debated whether or not to confess to you. Not just because I was nervous and knew it would change things between us, but because I _knew_ you wouldn't be able to wrap your head around the idea. After all, how could I like a guy who was so distant all the time? You call us best friends, but I don't even think you know what that means. We haven't hung out in _months_ and ever since high school, it's like you never want to talk to anybody! You're never quite _there_ during a conversation. Like you're thinking about something else - _someone_ else. You think I don't hear your weekly screams-into-the-wind? The whole _town_ knows when you're throwing a fit, Jamie. Your walls aren't as thick as _you_ are."

Jamie felt himself shrinking against Pippa's screams.

"At first, I was worried. I thought 'Why is my best friend so upset?' but then I noticed a connection. It started around springtime. Easter, to be exact. Then ever so often afterwards, you'd become anxious, angry, silent. Your eyes were always darting around at the slightest noise. For a while, you got better, but then November came. And the first snowfall. You became such a mess that I couldn't stand to be around you without worrying that you might freak out over a patch of ice. You were _scaring_ me, Jamie. You keep having these fits, and I think I know why."

The brunette looked down and began shaking his head. He covered his ears and closed his eyes. He knew where this was going…"No, Pippa, please. Don't-"

"No, Jamie, you need to hear this!" She grabbed his hand away from his ears. "Jamie, the reason you don't get close to people, the reason you're so strung-out... is that you still believe the Guardians exist."

Jamie looked up at her and glared. "They _do_ exist, Pippa! You know! You were there! You fought Pitch with them! You-"

"No, no, Jamie, that wasn't real!" She shook her head. "Someone must have drugged us, or something. That whole thing was just a hallucination."

"They were real!" He'd straightened up to his full height.

"When was the last time you saw them?" She was extremely worried. All she wanted to do was help her best friend. Seeing his manic desperation just sent shivers through her. "Not since that night or you wouldn't have so many outbursts all the time. You keep searching for something that isn't there! If you could just forget about them–"

"No!"

"Santa Claus isn't real!" Pippa had her hand on his arm.

"He's real!" Jamie held his head again.

"The Tooth Fairy isn't real!"

"Stop!"

"The Sandman,"

"Pippa–"

"The Easter Bunny isn't–"

"Shut up!"

"Jack Frost–"

"NO!" Jamie screamed and ripped his arm away from her grip. She just looked at him while he stood there, breathing heavily and clutching his eyes. "No..." He muttered. His shoulders were shaking. "Pippa, Just stop… Stop, p-please."

Her expression just fell. "Jamie, I just want to help you."

"You can't help me!" He screamed at her. "You think I'm crazy! And… And I'm not." He faltered and just shook his head again. "The Guardians are supposed to help me…_They're supposed to…"_

Pippa remained silent. She just looked at her broken friend with pity.

"Alright, Jamie." She put her hands in her pockets. "I'm sorry for caring about you." She muttered with contempt. Jamie looked up quickly, realizing how hurt she sounded.

"No, Pippa, I didn't–"

"Bye, Jamie." Her expression was unreadable as she turned her back on the brunette. "See ya' tomorrow…" She said bitterly before disappearing around the corner.

Jamie stared in the direction she left before turning to the wall and sitting up against it. He didn't care about the cold bricks making the hair on his neck twitch. He covered his face again. Not crying, but simply rubbing his eye sockets with his forefingers. He was tired of this. It seemed that anything he tried, he'd mess up somehow. Everything was getting too confusing. It was as if—

"Girl troubles?"

The voice shocked Jamie out of his sulk. His eyes darted around, searching for its owner. He hadn't heard anyone walk up to him…

"Up here." Came the voice again, a little to his left.

Jamie's eyes immediately tracked the sound and glanced up the tall pine tree a few feet from where he sat. Then he saw him. White-haired teenager in the same frosty blue hoodie Jamie saw him in seven years ago.

Jamie stared up in shock. The winter spirit looked down at him, frosted staff in hand and that ever-present grin on his face.

"Jack."

* * *

**heh. Chapter 3 soon, if you're lucky. **

***hugs you all for being perf* thanks for your support**


	3. Chapter 3

The Guardian's grin widened when Jamie spoke his name. The brunette remained frozen in place, awestruck as he tried to comprehend who was in front of him.

"Hi, Jamie." Jack spoke to the brunette. "How are—Woah!"

Jack dodged quickly as Jamie suddenly picked up the nearest rock and chucked it as hard as he could at the winter spirit.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"Jamie screamed at the top of his lungs, grabbing for another rock to throw, which Jack fell off a branch to avoid.

"J-Jamie, wha— Ow!" One rock managed to collide with Jack's shoulder.

"SEVEN YEARS. SEVEN. FUCKING. YEARS." His voice was so coarse his words felt like sandpaper. "AND YOU SHOW UP. HIDING IN A FUCKING _TREE_, AND ALL YOU SAY IS 'HI, JAMIE'?"

"Jamie, woah, just—" Jack barely managed to get a word in between the stones Jamie was pelting. The spirit was in the air and attempting to get closer to Jamie without taking out an eye. "Just calm down, please—ow. I can explain—"

"CALM DOWN? YOU LEFT ME FOR SEVEN YEARS—"

"Yeah, got that. But if you keep screaming—"

"SO WHAT IF I'M SCREAMING?" Jamie threw his hands up in exasperation. "IF YOU DON'T PLAN ON _EXPLAINING _YOURSELF—"

Jack ran a hand over his face. He heard the sound of footsteps, possibly people coming to see what all the commotion was about. "You know what…" He took three swift steps forward. "Hold this." He commanded and pushed the long wooden staff into Jamie's chest. The brunette fumbled to grab the stick properly. He barely had a moment to be confused as Jack suddenly scooped Jamie up mid-sentence and shot into the sky.

The teenager let out a high pitched yelp in the form of the Guardian's name. "J-JACK!" On instinct, he clung to spirit, both arms tight around Jack's neck to ensure he wouldn't fall. He found this action difficult, seeing as he held a six-foot-long pole in one hand, but held on anyway for the sake of remaining in the air.

Although Jamie had grown since the last time Jack had seen him, he was still relatively lightweight and the Guardian's strong arms were enough to guarantee his safety as the wind carried them off into the sky.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Jamie had gotten over the initial shock of being propelled into the sky, which distracted him from the fact that he should be angry with Jack. But Jamie looked down at the town, and memories just came flooding back to him. He remembered soaring through the night, carried by Jack and his tamed wind.

"I had to do something to stop you from screaming so much in public. People might start to question your sanity." Jack swerved suddenly around a tall oak and Jamie's grip tightened. Jack noticed his nervousness and smirked. The winter spirit increased the speed of the wind and flew about a hundred feet off the ground. He took a sudden dive, and Jamie bit his lip to keep his outbursts of fear to a minimum. He buried his face in Jack's chest as his stomach dropped and they avoided impact at the last second. They zoomed a few feet above the ground, zigzagging to avoid various objects in their way.

"What's wrong, Jamie?" Jack laughed. "Isn't this nostalgic?"

"I'm seriously going to kill you." The brunette muttered into the Guardian's hoodie.

"Haha! Aw, c'mon you love this." Jack took some detours down an alleyway or two, zipping back up above the roofs and over the unsuspecting eyes of civilians. A few twists and turns, and Jack eventually arrived outside of Jamie's bedroom window.

When he felt the wind slowing down, Jamie finally took a glance at where they were.

_He remembers where I live. _Went through Jamie's head. It occurred to him that perhaps Jack had visited the brunette multiple times when he was a kid before he could see him. After all, when the spirit was finally visible to him, Jack acted as though he'd known Jamie his whole life. It was a strange feeling. Seeing someone for the first time when they'd watched over you for so long.

A final gust of wind opened the glass panes and Jack entered Jamie's room. It wasn't until Jack's bare feet were firmly on the ground did he let go of Jamie. The brunette stumbled as he found his balance again. He took two steps forward, his back to the Guardian. He dropped the staff and Jack picked it up, leaning it against the wall. Jamie let his head fall and took off his wet coat. He let out a big sigh, still not looking at the spirit.

"Alright." He said after a moment. "I'm going crazy. Pippa was right. You're not actually here. I did not just fly over the entire town with you. I'm going to turn around, and you won't be here anymore." Jack remained silent, but didn't move as Jamie spun around. When the brunette saw the winter spirit just standing there with his hands in his pockets and a guilty expression on his face, Jamie shook his head.

"Jack, oh my god—"

"Wait," Jack moved quickly to cover up Jamie's mouth before he could continue. He flinched at the sudden contact, but mostly at how cold the spirit's hand was. "Before you say anything, I just want to say I am so incredibly sorry. I know, I was a complete jerk to leave you, and I know nothing I can say will make it up to you, but I just want you to know that I really am so, _so_ sorry."

Jamie looked directly into Jack's deep blue eyes. Jack wished he wouldn't stare at him with such disappointment. They remained like that for a while, and when Jack thought he wasn't going to earn any reaction from the brunette, he began lowering his hand. Jack broke their eye contact, weight falling on his heart as he felt Jamie's hurt stare dig into him. The spirit turned, removing the staff from its place against the wall and taking a step onto the windowsill. Before he could take off, leave behind his failed attempt at making up with the first child to believe in him, Jack felt a hand grip his. There was one swift tug, and Jamie pulled Jack back to him, enveloping the winter spirit in a hug. Jack dropped the stick when he felt Jamie's face burry into his shoulder and tight arms around his waist. He returned the embrace, moving one hand to grip the fabric of Jamie's shirt and the other to the back of his neck. The contact of the winter spirit's cold hand on his bare neck caused Jamie to shiver, but he only held Jack tighter.

"Jack, I was… so scared…" Jamie whispered as he began crying softly.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, Jamie." Jack felt himself tearing up. What else could he say? He'd left this boy alone for so long. To an immortal, seven years can go by in the blink of an eye. But to a growing child, so much can change for the worst in such a long time.

"I… I kept looking for you, and you weren't there." Jamie never wanted to leave the arms of his Guardian. "Things have gotten so bad, Jack. I…I couldn't handle it on my own. I needed you here."

"Jamie…" Jack hid his face in the nape of the brunette's neck.

"Why weren't you here?"

Jack froze. He knew he'd have to give this explanation, but honestly he didn't agree with it himself. The winter spirit lifted his head and pulled away from Jamie slightly. "Jamie, I… I am so sorry, but you're really not going to like this."

The teenager lowered his hands and cautiously looked at Jack. "What?"

"Well, there, um…" Jack took a step back and ran a nervous hand through his snow-white hair. "After the night we defeated Pitch, and uh, after Sandy sent you all to sleep, the rest of the Guardians held a meeting."

Jamie took a seat on his bed and Jack joined him. He was ready to hear the full story. It must have been a good reason if it kept Jack and the others away for multiple years.

"Back at the North Pole, we celebrated. But then, The Man in the Moon started to speak to us."

"The Man in the Moon?" Jamie had definitely heard of the name, but always thought it was an expression. But then again, he once mistook Jack Frost for just another way to describe the cold weather, and yet here he was, sitting right in front of him.

"He's kind of the father of the Guardians, I guess." Jack explained. "Anyway, he said something… well, something none of us were happy with…"

"…" Jamie looked at the Guardian expectantly. "What was it?"

"… He told us that we had to stay away from you." Jack said cautiously, worrying what Jamie's reaction would be.

The brunette blinked. "Why? What did I do?" Jamie felt himself getting angry again. He'd never even _met_ this Man-in-Moon guy, yet he was the one responsible for his loneliness these past years?

"I asked that." Jack continued. "He told us that there was something about you that… 'needed developing.' He said you were destined for something special, but the only way for you to prove just _how_ special that part of you was, we had to stay away for a while. He wanted to see how you'd react to being alone."

The brunette scoffed. "Not that fucking well, if you hadn't noticed."

Jack glanced at Jamie. He hadn't realized how much the brunette _really_ grew. Not only in size, but in attitude as well. Jack had been eighteen for over three hundred years. He'd lived for so long and gone through so much life experience that he didn't even consider himself a teenager anymore. He guessed that he'd forgotten what a horrifying transition adolescence was. Jamie, the innocent kid Jack thought he knew so well, had undergone so much change. And Jack wasn't there to witness it.

Jack continued. "He said we had to stay away from Burgess completely, otherwise we might run into you.

"But, there was still the issue of a whole town's worth of kids that we had to take care of. So we did our work from a distance. I could just form some clouds to bring snow to the town. Some of Tooth's fairies even painted their feathers black so they could sneak around easier. North and Bunny didn't need to change much, since most of their work is done in secret, anyway. But it took Sandy extra effort. We knew the dream sand wouldn't go unnoticed by you, since you'd probably be watching the skies like a hawk. So he developed a way to make the sand less iridescent. I helped out to create some fog and clouds to cover up most of it, so the sand could get to each child unnoticed, almost invisible. But we had to avoid you, so that's why you haven't been having dreams. Because I guessed you'd have been looking through every mythology book you had, just to pick up on some clues as to where we were, or how we were hiding. If _any_ kind of sand came into your room, you'd definitely notice."

Jamie couldn't help but smile slightly; Jack knew Jamie better than he thought.

"But we _had_ to keep away. It was unfair and none of us liked the idea, but the Moon insisted."

"...But why seven years?" Jamie asked. "Seems like a random number."

This brought a small smirk to Jack's face. "Well, we were supposed to wait until you were eighteen."

The brunette blinked. "But that... that's next week." Jamie hadn't thought about his birthday in a long time... But forgetting about his _eighteenth_ birthday? Embarrassing. "So why didn't you guys wait?"

"Well, _technically_, I'm not supposed to be here. North'd kill me if he found out I went to get you a week early. A few months ago I asked if I could go visit you, but he said the date we came to get you had to be _exact_. Actually, I think they're still planning on sneaking into your room the midnight of your birthday. That is... if they haven't found out why I'm gone yet." Jack smiled. "But I thought seven years would be long enough, no sense in making you wait another whole week."

Jamie felt like hugging him again. Jack had waited for a long time to see Jamie, he made it with only a week to go and he couldn't take it anymore. He came to see him, despite all the trouble he would be in if anyone found out. He guessed that Jack missed Jamie as much as Jamie missed him.

"So, are you coming with me?" Jack stood.

"What?" Jamie blinked.

"Well, you didn't think I'd come all this way just to head off alone, did you?" He grinned down at his friend.

"But where?"

"My place." Jamie could tell Jack was keeping the exact information a secret, because he just smiled and waited for Jamie to ask more questions.

"For how long?"

"Well, how long do you want to stay?"

Jamie thought about this question. He thought about school in the morning, about having to deal with the people who thought he was a freak, he thought about his family and how much he worried them. Then he thought about Jack and his decision was made in an instant.

Jamie stood with resolve, grabbing Jack's wooden stick and handing it over to the spirit. He looked directly into the Guardian's grinning eyes.

"Forever."

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**eeeeeeep. i cant wait until you guys see what's next! *hugs* i love you all.**


	4. Chapter 4

A grin sprang to Jack's face. "That's what I like to hear. Let's go!"

This caused Jamie to smile uncontrollably. "Really? Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that!" The spirit became animated. He hovered into the air as he talked. "You're really gonna love my new place! I kinda lived in Burgess for like 300 years, but y'know since I had to stay away from you the Guardians said I should build my own place. It's so cool it's like this giant castle thing—not as impressive as the Tooth Palace. But—oh! You haven't even seen the Tooth Palace, have you? Or the Warren. Oh my god you haven't been to the North Pole yet! Jamie, North's got these awesome yetis and there's like egg tiki things at Bunnymund's place and oh my god! I've got to show you _everything_!"

Jamie admitted to himself with a laugh that he missed Jack's excitement. But he appreciated it more now only because he thought Jack looked cute when he got worked up over something.

"Show me your place first." Jamie said up to Jack, who was hovering a few inches above his head.

"Oh yeah!" The spirit reached into his front pocket and pulled out a snow globe.

"Has that been in there the whole time?"

"My pockets are bigger on the inside." Jack chuckled as if laughing at an inside joke he shared with himself. He leaned close to the globe, whispering into the glass. _"Ice Palace." _With that, he dropped the globe and upon impact, it created a vortex of snow. Jamie saw a bright light in the center, but couldn't quite make out what it was.

"Ready?" Jack grabbed Jamie's hand. And with a nod in response, Jack pulled Jamie as he jumped into the void. "Hold on tight!" He yelled over the howling dimensional wind. Jamie felt the sensation of constant falling and floating over and over again. He tried not to scream, because Jack looked to be enjoying himself. So he only held his hand tighter. He felt like his stomach was twisting inside his skin. He only had a moment to endure the disturbing sensation, because he soon came tumbling out of the vortex. This caused Jamie relief for the half a second before he realized the drop-off zone was about a thousand feet above an ocean.

"Oh, shit!" Jack exclaimed when he heard Jamie scream, remembering at an inconvenient time that the brunette couldn't fly. The Guardian dove down as Jamie fell. He quickly caught Jamie with both arms, one hand clutching his wooden staff behind Jamie's back and the other supporting his legs.

"T-Thanks." Jamie shook in Jack's arms. His hands found their way around the Guardian's neck again.

A cold wind hit their faces as Jack kept them afloat. "No problem. Sorry for the scare. I forgot about the height."

A glint of sunlight caught Jamie's eye and he looked down at the structure below him glowing in the setting sun. "Oh my god…"

A gigantic castle stood on a single island in the middle of a navy blue ocean. It was made of pure ice and each tower stood at least three hundred feet in the air. The tower points were sharp enough to pierce diamonds, which is what the ice appeared to be made of. As Jack zoomed closer to the palace, the intricate details of the ice became clearer. As they landed, Jamie looked down and admired the swirling patterns imbedded in the icy bricks. The design was everywhere. They stepped inside the gigantic double doors made completely out of ice and even the windows and walls were covered in the beautiful frost pattern.

"And this is… _All_ ice?" Jamie asked the obvious question as he ran his hand across an icy tapestry, the design glowing softly against the clear substance.

"Yup. Made it all myself."

"Wow." Jamie whispered, wide-eyed. "Is… is this _real_ fire?!"

"Yeah." Jack sauntered along with Jamie as the brunette stared at a torch suspended on the wall.

"But—it should be melting the ice oh my god how did you do that?!"

"Magic?" Jack snapped his fingers, producing a snowflake out of thin air as demonstration.

"Yeah, but… wow! And—I can't see through the walls or floor! And I'm not slipping! It's like… It's _ice_, but, like, not _really…_ And it's not even cold!" Jamie hadn't felt this excited in years.

Jack didn't resist the smile that Jamie caused on his lips. "Oh, I told the Ice Imps to start the Furnace up, since I knew you'd be coming."

"Ice Imps?" Jamie turned to the Guardian.

"Yup! Wait here." Jack flew around the corner, returning a second later holding what appeared to be a snowball in his right palm. He extended his hand to show Jamie the cylindrical lump of snow. Jamie's smile widened when he saw the small limbs sticking from the ball. The snow was round and appeared to look up at Jamie despite not having a face. It wore a tiny blue hat etched with more white frost designs.

"Ice Imp." Jack handed the creature to Jamie, who held it in awe. It squirmed in his hand and Jamie nearly dropped it. It was freezing cold and its surface felt like it was emitting a sort of static electricity. "Made them myself." The Guardian announced. "There's a little more than two hundred of them here. I figured, since Tooth has all the fairies and North has the elves, I should have some little slaves around, too."

Jamie giggled as the Ice Imp managed to squirm out of his hand and land on the floor. It scurried off into another room, its little feet scraping along the iced surface. "The Tooth Fairy has _slaves_?" He asked.

"Oh, well. Kinda...Actually, no not really..." Jack realized what he had said and his pale face offered a hint of color in his cheeks. "But my Ice Imps do all the cooking and cleaning and stuff for me, so I guess I'm really the only one who...has...slaves..." Jack rubbed the back of his neck. "But they don't have a consciousness. They're literally just walking balls of snow and ice that I magically programmed to do work. So they're kinda just like... robot servants." The Guardian nodded to himself, satisfied with his conclusion.

"Robot servants made of ice and adorable as hell." Jamie grinned, glancing in the direction the Imp had dashed off to. A faint glow reflected off the icy floor and Jamie suspected there might be a fireplace in the next room.

"Yeah, I'm pretty proud of them." Jack wore an adorably humble expression that Jamie noticed immediately. "So... are you hungry, or?"

"Oh," Jamie was suddenly reminded of the empty feeling in his stomach. "Yeah, kinda. What time even is it?" The dark sky outside surprised him.

"I dunno." Jack shrugged. "We went through a portal and time gets a little warped coming through there... I'd say it's just about eight."Jack smiled and flew over to the entrance to the other room. He placed his feet on the ground and dramatically gestured to the door. "Join me for dinner?"

"Of course." Jamie responded. He stepped through the door and was amazed by what he saw.

The dining room contained a long, elegant ice table with a blue tablecloth covered in swirling frost designs. A chandelier made of cut ice hung above them, supporting wax candles that burned but didn't melt. Elegant navy blue curtains hung along the windows that stretched from ceiling to floor and displayed the constellations appearing in the darkening sky. A stained-glass window perched above an ice hearth outlined the images of the five Guardians. The simplistic figures of Jack Frost, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, the Sandman, and the Easter Bunny stood proudly above the mantle. Jamie admired the glass, noting the colors that defined the outlines of each spirit. Green and pink shards of glass made up the image of Tooth. The red and white outlined North. A bluish gray and white defined Bunnymund. Yellow and gold were there for Sandy. And Jack's colors matched the rest of the room; crisp white and a cold blue.

Jamie stared at the colored glass for a while, taking in the images of the creatures he hadn't seen for years. If a stranger were to see the window, they might be completely sure that spirits so beautiful couldn't possibly exist. That their glory could only be displayed through art and glasswork. Jamie knew otherwise, of course, and was certain each of the Guardians was even more magnificent in real life.

They sat together. Jack at the head of the table and Jamie to his right. Jack went on about the magnificence of the North Pole, Tooth Palace, and Warren. Jamie listened and felt more excitement with every detail the Guardian mentioned. They ate the food brought to them by the Imps on ice platters.

"Aren't you immortal? I thought you didn't need to eat." Jamie mentioned as he took a bite of the pheasant on his plate. He'd never tasted meat so delectable.

"Just because I don't need to doesn't mean I don't want to." Jack replied, pouring more gravy over his bird. "Food is _delicious. _As soon as I built this place, I knew the first thing I wanted was a well-stocked kitchen and to eat the most amazing food forever. And since I don't gain weight or feel full anymore, I can eat as much as I want."

"Anymore?" Jamie picked up.

"Oh," Jack's face fell for a millisecond. "Yeah. I used to, like, _need_ to eat... when I was human."

The news shocked Jamie. "You were a human? When?" Jamie hadn't really thought of Jack being anything besides a Guardian.

"Like, three hundred years. Give or take a few decades." Jack replied with a small laugh.

"Did you have a family?"

Jamie's question stung Jack. "Yeah… Yeah I had a mom and a sister…" As the years went by after Jack had regained his memories, he began over thinking the life that continued after he drowned. His sister thought he was dead. She'd seen him fall into the unstable ice and screamed his name. After that, Jack suspected she must have cried when she realized that her big brother had died and it was because of her. Jack wished he could believe that she never blamed herself, but he knew she must have felt guilt for a long time afterwards.

Jack thought of how often he had wandered around Burgess three hundred years ago. How he must have seen his sister, passed by her on the streets, and not known who she was. Year after year she grew without her brother until she eventually passed on as well. It pained him but a part of him was glad he'd lost his memories back then. Because if he'd known who she was, Jack would never have left her side. He'd become an invisible observer of her life, and he wouldn't be able to aid her in any of her struggles. He'd be there, watching and hurting as she died in front of his eyes. As she withered and aged, he'd remain the same. Such is the terrible truth of immortality; everyone you've ever loved must, in the end, die without you. Jack hadn't stopped thinking about his sister for seven years, and each day he'd become frustrated at his helplessness. He could do nothing but look back and regret ever taking his sister out ice skating.

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**whoops not really where i wanted to leave this off but if i finished the chapter where i wanted to, it'd be like 15 pages long oops. anyway chapter 5 might be up sooner rather than later *fingers crossed***

** again; love you all. good night.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Jack?" Jamie's voice brought the Guardian back from his suffocating thoughts.

"Wha—? Oh, yeah. Sorry." Jack cleared his throat and attempted the most casual voice he could muster. "I had a family, yeah. I loved them a lot. I took care of them every day. I didn't even go to school." He said the last with a grin.

"That must have been great." Jamie noticed Jack's tense expression a few seconds before, but decided he'd save his questions for a more appropriate time.

"Yeah, it was." He smiled. "I spent all day with my sister and we'd just play in the town. It really was so much fun."

"Did you cause as much trouble back then as you did when I was a kid?" Jamie chuckled, remembering the Sledding Catastrophe years ago.

"Haha. Not as much, since I didn't have an entire element under my control." Jack held a wistful expression. "But it was just as fun. Maybe I even enjoyed messing with you guys more."

Jamie gave a small smile. "I never properly thanked you for those snow days, did I?"

"Don't worry about it." Jack grinned back. "Seeing you happy is enough of a reward."

There were a few moments of content silence as they continued to eat, the atmosphere swirling with a nostalgic air. Jamie held a smile, remembering each winter day he enjoyed as a kid. How the afternoons filled with laughter and juvenile mayhem. He would trade anything to go back and enjoy childhood again.

Jamie stopped eating, biting his lip and placing his silverware on the table. "Jack, I… I had somuch fun when I was younger…"

Jack looked at Jamie, silently listening as his serious tone caused him to worry.

"And I'm so_ happy_ that you're back. And I'm sorry I was angry when I first saw you again. Because I'm genuinely thrilled that you came back. I was just confused and… frustrated? I guess. I didn't think you'd ever come back, and then you did at the most random time… And really, I guess any time was better than never. Um…but…" The brunette swallowed. "I won't forgive you for leaving me."

Jack hung his head but didn't interject as Jamie continued.

"You left me, and I just fell apart." His words were shaking and slow. He made sure he'd be able to verbalize what he felt. So that maybe Jack could understand. "Nothing seemed magical anymore… I…I couldn't enjoy even the smallest bits of happiness I observed around me, because I was afraid of that joy leaving me as soon as I got a taste of it. …I was in a dark place, Jack. I was hurting, a-and it just got worse the older I got. I hated the constant pain, but didn't trust myself enough to manage the wounds alone. …And even now I'm… nowhere _close_ to being okay."

Jack's entire body just slumped. He'd lost all airs and guilt flowed through his movements. He ran a hand over his face. How could he ever make things right again? No apology was enough to show how sorry he was. "I… I know, Jamie. I was such an idiot for listening to North."

"Yeah, you kinda were." Jamie agreed bluntly. He shrugged his shoulders and coughed to clear his breaking voice. "But, I mean, I guess you didn't know it'd affect me so much—"

"No, that's just it, Jamie," Jack interrupted. "I _knew _it was hurting you. On the globe, I saw the light representing your belief flicker. You were the only kid still believing in the Guardian's when Pitch had the world controlled by fear. You were so strong. Every time I saw your faith in us dim or momentarily disappear, I felt so terrible. I knew you only doubted us because you'd been betrayed. I saw it; I knew you were feeling so hurt and confused. But I didn't even try to disobey orders. I'm such an idiot and I know I don't deserve your trust for a long time…" Jack looked up at the brunette with a pleading expression. "But I... I think I would just die if I knew you hated me."

The brunette let out a sigh. "I don't _hate_ you, Jack. I really don't. I just..." He gnawed at his bottom lip. "I'm scared that you might leave me again."

Jack shook his head multiple times. He shifted his position, facing Jamie properly. "Jamie Bennett," He looked straight into his brown eyes. "I swear to you, on the life of the Guardians, that I will never, ever, _ever_ leave you again. Ever. Every day of your life, I'll be with you, helping you through everything. Pinky promise." He extended the smallest of his right fingers and Jamie couldn't help but smile at the gesture. He linked his own pinky with Jack's and gave a nod.

"Thank you." The tension in Jamie's shoulders had released. Looking back, Jamie would come to realize that he could pinpoint the exact moment he began falling for the Guardian. But at seventeen years of age, he excused the warm feeling Jack's smile caused as nothing more than a strong sense of relief.

"Your hand is freezing!" Jamie commented and covered Jack's fingers with his own.

"And yours are so warm." He laughed, savoring the heat on his icy hands. Jack glanced at the table, noticing their empty plates. "Hey," He looked up at Jamie from under his snow-white fringe. "D'you wanna see your room now?"

"My room?"

"Yeah!" Jack stood and Jamie followed. "If you're gonna stay here forever, you gotta have a place to sleep, right?"

"I guess." Jamie laughed as Jack became enthusiastic again.

"C'mon! Follow me!" The guardian took off, out of the dining room, his feet barely touching the ground. Jamie dashed after him, up a flight of icy stairs, down a long hallway adorned with iced suits of armor. They passed seven doors until Jack finally came to a sudden halt in front of a double door.

"Here we are." Jack clutched the ice knob and pulled open one of the doors. Inside held more ice, the walls and floors were glowing in the candlelight. After all the beautiful objects he'd seen made of ice, Jamie was surprised to see a fabric comforter on the king sized ice bed frame. Luscious blue curtains hung from the ceiling, surrounding the bed. There was a large dark blue carpet underneath it, giving the room a certain warm appearance. Jamie's exclamation was caught in his throat when he looked to the adjoining wall. An image was carved into the ice of him as a child. He recognized the scene as the day he went speeding through the town on his rogue sled. He smiled when he saw the carving of Jack Frost, hovering above the icey image of kid Jamie. There were intricate swirls and shades of blue and white completing the carved scene.

"This is amazing." Jamie finally said, staring at the tapestry. "Everything is. Oh my god. Jack, this is seriously my room?"

"Made it for you." Jack explained with a smile on his face. "I've wanted you to visit ever since I made the Palace."

"Well, I love it." Jamie turned back to the Guardian and noticed the content stare Jack had aimed at him. "Now I am _definitely_ never leaving."

"Good. I won't let you, anyway." Jack laughed. His feet had touched the ground and he took a few steps forward. He looked up at the wall art and then back to Jamie. "You've grown so much!" Jack exclaimed, putting a hand on Jamie's brunet head. "We're the same height now, yeah?"

"I think I'm a little taller." Jamie chuckled, measuring where Jack's height matched his.

"No way." The Guardian laughed and hovered back into the air so he was a good three inches taller than the brunette.

"Hey, no fair!" Jamie laughed, placing his hand on Jack's white hair and pushing him back to the ground. Jamie suspected that they really were about the same height because Jack's blue eyes could gaze directly into Jamie's brown ones. Which they did. For about ten whole seconds. Neither boy moved, just looked at each other and smiled. Jamie was just glad he could _see_ him. After all those years that moment felt surreal. Was he really looking straight at the illusive Guardian he'd been searching for? Were said Guardian's arms really finding their way around Jamie's waist? Were their foreheads actually touching? Were Jamie's eyes closing? Was he really shivering as the spirit's chilled breath hit his face? Did he really feel Jack's lips inching closer to him? …Was he really content with not stopping him?

A sudden jolt washed over the Guardian before their lips could meet, and Jamie blinked his eyes open. The brunette felt confusing disappointment as Jack moved his head away from Jamie's. The teenager noticed a serious expression now present on his face. The Guardian was staring in the direction of the door.

"Someone's here." Jack removed his hands from Jamie's sides and grabbed the wooden staff. White frost immediately covered the surface where he held it with determination. The Guardian took off running out of the room. Jamie hurried after him all the way to the main foyer. Jack stood there, in battle position, pointing the staff in the direction of the main entrance. There was a second of tense silence until a voice called from behind them.

"Over here, mate." The two recognized the voice immediately and Jack sent shards of ice toward it. There was a yelp followed by the six-foot figure of a rabbit jumping to avoid the ice.

"Oi!" Bunnymund exclaimed. He patted frost off his bluish fur. The whiskers on his face twitched as he frowned at the winter spirit. "What was that for?!"

"I'm not going with you!" Jack shouted at Bunny.

"Jesus..." The Australian shook his head, rolling his eyes. "No need to become violent! Besides, you _have_ to come with me. You're in a heap of trouble, you know."

"I haven't done anything wrong." Jack stood up straight.

"Yes, you did!" He took a defiant step forward. "You disobeyed North's direct orders. Not only that, but you've been hiding from us! A whole week, we've been looking! And you've spent the whole time with that kid. Not that we were able to go near him, since we actually _follow orders._ But I finally decided to go look for you, since you've already ruined the plan." Bunnymund pointed a boomerang at his fellow Guardian. "You've had Tooth worried _sick_. And North's—"

"Wait." Jamie spoke up, caught on something the rabbit had said. "A week?"

Jack's shoulders immediately tensed. He didn't look Jamie in the eye.

"You've been gone a week?" the brunette repeated, stepping into the Guardian's line of sight. "But you've only been with me for a day—less!" Jamie knew he was hiding something. "Jack." The brunette's tone warned. "What does he mean 'a week'?"

The Guardian finally glanced at Jamie and was about to say something, but closed his mouth again.

"Have you been following me for a whole week?!" Jamie figured. "All that time and you don't even think to show yourself!"

"Jamie, yes, okay, I'm sorry I just-"

"Just what?! You think it would be fun?! Not letting me see you?! Even when I was screaming at the top of my lungs for you? Really smart move, dude. That's a _great_ way to earn my trust, you know." Jamie spat. "You're a complete asshole, you know that?!"

Bunnymund gave a low chuckle. He mumbled. "Grew up with some spirit, this one."

"Shut it, Cottontail!" Jamie shot at the rabbit. "You're in just as much trouble as he is."

His composure fell when he became the object of the brunette's rage. "T-The bloody hell did I do?!"

"You left me for seven years too, y'know!" Jamie shouted. "All you Guardians! You said you'd protect me, but all you do is give me one night of magic and then you leave forever! How can I be happy with any of you?" Jamie fought angry tears. "Why didn't you show yourself?!" He directed the question at Jack.

The Guardian fumbled with his response. "I-I just... I wanted to see how you were doing without us."

"Oh, I was just _peachy_." Jamie's hands formed fists. He thought of the weeks past events. There was definitely more screaming and fits. Jamie's stomach dropped almost immediately when he began thinking of what he'd done as a result. "You... you were there the whole time?" His voice was low.

Jack seemed to know what he was talking about and his expression became dark. "… I'm sorry." Jack didn't want to offer a straight answer.

"Even when I..." He couldn't finish. Jamie anxiously began tugging at his sleeve, rubbing his stinging left wrist. Bunnymund noticed the action and his ears fell. The rabbit felt like shrinking away from such a serious conversation.

Jack's voice was weak. "...I… I couldn't bear to watch."

Jamie covered his eyes and took several deep breaths. "…And you didn't try to stop me?" His voice broke and was barely audible. He wanted to disappear. He felt such fury and disappointment. The more Jamie thought about it, the more he regretted ever meeting Jack. If he'd never met him, he wouldn't have been left by him. He wouldn't have felt as lost as he was for seven years; he would be happier. All the brunette's problems couldn't be traced back to the spirit in front of him… So why didn't he hate Jack?

Jamie let his hand fall from his face. There was heavy silence as he inhaled and exhaled slowly, attempting to wrap his brain around the reasons why Jack did it. Jamie then looked up at him with such a hurt and confused expression that Jack wanted to do nothing but hold and comfort the brunette. To explain everything. He wanted Jamie to understand why Jack kept doing such terrible things to him, but couldn't offer an explanation that wouldn't result in hatred. But even describing all of his doubts and regrets might not rid that sad look from the teenager's face. As the seconds inched by, Jack could do nothing but stand there in shame.

The brunette just shook his head, letting his gaze fall to the floor as he turned around. He simply walked away from the two silent Guardians helplessly standing in the foyer.

"N-no, Jamie," Jack found his voice too late as Jamie just ignored him, heading up the staircase and eventually out of sight.

Jack felt a hand on his shoulder and looked to see Bunnymund shake his head, a sympathetic look on his features.

"Best not go after him…" The rabbit seemed to know what Jack was thinking. "Give him some time alone, yeah?"

Jack knew his fellow Guardian was right, but that didn't stop him from staring in the direction Jamie had gone with a longing expression.

"C'mon." Bunny's voice was still respectfully low as he removed his hand and took a few steps back. "North wants to see you, remember?"

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**story's not even close to being finished oops. **

**but yeah enjoy chapter 5, readers. ilysm. **

**(no but im thinking of changing the name bc this is just a working title? idk guys am i like allowed to do that)**


	6. Chapter 6

**TITLE CHANGE. (Previously known as "The Frosty Air Over Burgess"...sorry) enjoy anyway**

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The trip to the North Pole didn't register in Jack's mind. His thoughts were elsewhere and he didn't care enough to remember that he was in for a huge lecture from North. All he could think about was who he left behind in that giant, lonely Ice Palace. Jack wanted to run off again, and very well could. Just get out of that workshop, away from the noise and blinding lights and fly back to the Palace. Run up to Jamie's room as fast as the wind could carry him and apologize for being the worst person in the world. Then he'd throw his arms around the brunette's body again, take in his comforting warmth and just stay like that forever. Maybe Jamie would understand if Jack had a chance to properly explain himself. Maybe he would forgive him. Maybe he'd let Jack finish what almost happened the last time they embraced.

Jack shook his head. The uncertain result of that plan made the Guardian cringe. He loved taking chances, living life to the fullest and being outrageous… but when it came to Jamie, Jack felt like every action toward him needed to be thought through and analyzed to produce the most comforting outcome. He owed that much to him. After all Jamie had been through, Jack knew he didn't want to risk hurting him again by doing something unpredictable.

The Guardian reasoned that it was because of this cautious approach that he didn't kiss Jamie. It was only in the middle of the act, caught up in the intoxicating warmth of Jamie's breath, did Jack realize how sudden the gesture really was. Jamie hadn't attempted to stop him, but how could Jack know if he was really okay with it? So Jack was almost thankful for the distraction to stop him before he could do something he might regret. He needed to slow things down. The last time the two were together, Jamie was a kid. Who's to say he feels the same way for Jack now? The Guardian decided it was too soon to start anything romantic with him.

_Romantic._ Jack felt odd when the word ran through his head. When had he suddenly decided that what he felt for Jamie was romantic in any way? Jack racked his brain; there had to be a logical explanation. But he'd known Jamie through his entire childhood. Shouldn't his feelings be categorized as pedophilia?

No. Jack found himself blushing. There was something different. A week ago, when Jack finally spotted Jamie for the first time in years his heart just stopped. The Guardian had to double-take to confirm that the teenager in front of him really was the boy he'd known for so long. Jamie's hair had grown out and the fringe on his forehead nearly covered his eyes. His face held its identifiable features, but each one had grown and shaped into a nearly flawless design. Jack almost wished he could get a closer look to admire Jamie's big amber eyes and catch the glint the sun blessed them with. He always thought the brunette had been cute, but was it really fair that Jamie had grown up so gorgeously?

Oh, but then Jack began following Jamie around, discovering new quirks and traits he had obtained over the years Jack missed. It was extremely difficult to follow him because for the first time in his Guardian life, Jack had to willingly hide himself from human sight. So he took to the trees, mostly. Hiding in their branches and making as little noise as possible as he observed Jamie go about his daily life.

Jack found himself falling in love with the way Jamie would twist a few of his longer stands of hair in his fingers while he spaced out. The agitated twirling of his pencil while he was doing his homework, the subconscious flipping of hair out of his eyes. Jamie spent a lot of time lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to music into the late hours of the night. Jack wondered what he could be thinking about for so long and soon found himself just staring at the brunette through the closed window. Counting each tap of Jamie's foot as the music overtook the teenager's entire body. Jack liked the way the brunette's chest would rise and fall, the shirt he wore fitting perfectly and outlining his thin frame with each breath. He liked it when Jamie's eyebrows would knit together, how he'd bite his lip as his thoughts wandered into serious territory.

Although the Jamie he saw through that window was the same Jamie Jack had watched over as a kid, they seemed so incredibly different. And Jack couldn't help but fall for the more mature version of Jamie he had discovered.

"Oi." Bunnymund's voice had snapped Jack back to the present. "Look alive, wouldja? You've been staring off into space for a while. It's kinda creeping me out." They'd entered the North Pole. An elf had led them up to the workshop and instructed them to stay put while he went to get the man in charge.

"Have I?" Jack blinked. "Sorry."

The rabbit shrugged off his apology. There was silence for a while before Bunny spoke again. "Not to… um, bring up a touchy subject again, but… Why _did_ you follow that kid around for a week?"

It was Jack's turn to shrug. "Like I said; I just wanted to see how he was doing without us."

"And?"

"It… it was pretty bad…as you saw."

"Oh." The rabbit's ears had fallen.

"Yeah… Uh, there was just… something about him… like, he didn't talk much, but I… I could definitely tell he was… like, festering something, …you know? I dunno he just seemed so angry all the time… Like he was just building up everything and he just… took it out on himself…"

Bunnymund let out a sigh. "Yeah, well, that's teenagers for ya'. Trust me, I've seen a lot of kids grow up to be angsty little devils."

Jack thought about that. "…Why do they turn out that way? I mean, Jamie… He used to be so happy all the time…"

"That's just part of growing up." The rabbit offered. "Life's hard on kids, once they lose faith in us."

"But that's the thing," Jack shook his head. "Jamie still… believed in us. Like, he knew we existed. In fact I don't think he could get us off his mind."

"There's a difference between knowing something exists and believing in it, you know." Bunny explained. "I mean, maybe Jamie knew we were real, but he just didn't have any faith in us returning to him."

Jack didn't comment; he knew his fellow Guardian was right. "…Why did we do this to him, Bunny?"

The rabbit let out a sigh. "I know, I didn't like it any more than you did. But we had to. MiM's orders."

"But we're supposed to _protect_ children." Jack ran a hand over his tired face. "What we did to Jamie just hurt him. We went against everything the Guardians stand for just to see what all the years of torture would do to him?"

Bunnymund didn't have a chance to reply as the sound of double doors opening interrupted their conversation.

"Bunny! You got him!" Came the booming voice of Saint North. Jack kept his gaze unfocused and didn't bother covering his apathetic expression.

"Yeah," Bunnymund replied. "He wasn't that hard to get here, actually."

North turned to the winter spirit with a slightly amused expression. "Oh, you finally cooperating?" When Jack offered a small glare in response, the Russian simply laughed. "Good! Then maybe you listen to me one time, yes?"

"Where's Tooth?" Jack didn't bother responding to North's statement and decided to divert the conversation.

"At Tooth Palace." The Christmas spirit answered. "But that does not matter. She is too busy for silly matters like this—now! Jack, follow me!" North turned, extending an arm to signal his fellow Guardian to obey.

"Why? Can't you just yell at me here?" Jack asked bitterly.

North turned to him. "Who said I am going to yell at you?"

"Haven't I disobeyed orders?" The younger Guardian's tongue spat sarcasm. "Why don't you just lecture me now and get it over with."

North offered a shocked expression at his sudden attitude. Jack hadn't acted this rebellious since before he was a Guardian. "I—"

"In fact, don't. I already know what you're going to say: 'Jack!'" The winter spirit put his hands on his hips, sticking his chest out and imitating the elder Guardian in an exaggerated Russian accent. "'What you did was _no good!_ Man in Moon said wait until eight years! You have dishonored Guardians! Shame on you, shame. On Naughty List forever!'"

Bunnymund held back a snort. "Oh god, you really are just a bloody kid, aren't ya'?"

Jack offered his middle finger in response to the rabbit then crossed his arms at North. "Well don't bother trying to make me feel ashamed. What I did was fine. I honestly don't think the Moon minds if I'm a few weeks early."

"But that is not point!" North exclaimed. "You disobeyed Man in Moon! He knows much more than us. What you did upset whole plan!"

"How so?!"

"He said wait until Jamie is eighteen. Until he is adult."

Jack let out an exasperated laugh. "What difference does one week make?!"

North threw up his hands in frustration. "It could make world of difference! Do you know how much could happen in week? Now we never know because you took him away too early!"

"You know he made that decision years ago?!" Jack spat. "Jamie was a _kid_ when the Moon decided he was 'destined' for something. Do _you_ know how much could happen in _seven years?_"

"Man in Moon said he needed growing!"

"Yeah, and he also said Jamie had the potential to become an Essence."

"You don't believe so?"

"No, actually." Jack announced. "Honestly, Jamie has changed so much, it almost scares me. If the Man in the Moon saw anything in Jamie before, it's _long_ gone by now."

North stared at Jack for a moment, at the serious expression on his face. He eventually let out a sigh and attempted to salvage the conversation. "You do not know that, Jack. Perhaps he needed to change to become worthy—"

"No!" Jack interrupted. "North, if the Man in the Moon is right, and he does become an Essence, then that means Jamie will have to _die._" His grave emphasis on the word set a dark mood in the room. "Hasn't this already crossed your minds? The only way to become an Essence of something is to first lose your mortality. Do either of you _remember_ dying? How painful, and dark, and lonely it was? I will _not_ let Jamie go through the same pain I did. I won't let him become an Essence. And I don't care if I have to defy God himself if it means saving Jamie from that torture."

Neither North nor Bunnymund dared respond to that declaration. It wasn't until North let his shoulders relax was there any noise in the room.

"Fine." The Russian gave in. "I'll make you deal. We give you one week with him. And if what you say is true; if Jamie really does not have potential, we give up."

Jack's attitude lightened at the offer.

"But I warn you, Jack," North still held a stern expression. "Man in Moon knows many things. He saw something great in all Essences. And he has never been wrong in choosing any of us."

The winter spirit liked to avoid that truth, but nodded solemnly at the agreement. "Understood…" He muttered. "Now, if you'd excuse me," He gave a small, ironic bow. "I've got a kid that needs protecting." Jack gave a small tap of his staff on the floor, causing frost to immediately cover the surface. He turned his back on the two and looked over his shoulder. "That _is_ our job, isn't it?" He glared at his fellow Guardians as they avoided his gaze with guilty expressions. Jack gave a small scoff before taking a quick leap into the air. He was more than relieved to allow the wind to carry him out of the workshop and out to the sky as fast as it could.

* * *

_hey lets pretend that i know what im talking about and lets not get angry at me for writing "Essence" because like what the fuck are they actually called before they're guardians like srsly wow what was i supposed to do. _

_oh and im sorry that im probably wrong about that thing you think is incorrect yeah i know im wrong just shhhhh. (if you don't notice, dont worry please omfg.)_

**CHAPTER 6 AWWWWW YIS.**

**oh and i just ordered the entire book series of the Guardians of Childhood on amazon so like. idk when im gonna write more because i'll be too busy crying over these books. **


	7. Chapter 7

"N-no, Jamie," The brunette heard Jack call from behind him in the foyer.

Jamie bit his lip, resisting the urge to turn around and slap the Guardian right across his face. So he continued up the stairs as fast as he could towards his room. He passed a few Ice Imps, kicking one of the small mounds of snow as it crossed his path. Jamie didn't break down until his icy bedroom door was shut tight behind him.

He held it in for a second, listening for any sign that Jack had attempted to follow him. When he heard only silence from down the hall, it was safe to assume the two Guardians had left. And that's when Jamie lost it.

He curled onto the giant bed and covered his face as tears began flowing from his eyes. Jamie hated crying, yet it was something he found himself doing on a regular basis. He hated the way his chin would wrinkle under his whimpering frown. The way his eyebrows folded in on each other. How his eyes stung and his nose ran, each turning red. He hated the way his shoulders shook and how his face felt oily and wet. But he continued his stupid crying because… well, what else could he do?

He foolishly let himself believe that his life was going to get better. After all, Jack was with him again so why shouldn't it? But over and over again Jamie just set himself up for disappointment. He'd believed Jack. He wanted to completely trust that the Guardian would always protect him. But once again he was proven wrong. And it felt even worse knowing that Jack saw the pain he was going through, but didn't care enough to actually help him. The man had seen Jamie literally harm himself. The teenager felt disgusted and it almost physically hurt to think about how much faith he had in the one who let him down constantly.

"Shut up." Jamie muttered to himself, massaging his temples as a headache began to form. "You're being dramatic. Just _shut up_." Jamie knew that Jack didn't care as much as he said he did. He was just afraid of being invisible again. Afraid that Jamie would stop "believing" in him. He wasn't worried about Jamie. He just didn't want to be ignored again. Maybe Jack didn't want to save him. Maybe he let him suffer on purpose just to entertain himself. After all, when he thought about it, Jamie really didn't know Jack at all. He'd only met him twice in his life. Granted, each time they met Jamie felt safer with him than he had with anyone, but that was beside the point.

"No. No. Nope. I am a complete idiot." Jamie ran his fingers through his hair, pulling hard until his scalp felt near to splitting. Why did he trust Jack in the first place? Just because he was strong and magical and amazing and beautiful and made Jamie smile and feel things that tickled his stomach and held him so delicately and had breath as cold as snow that tickled his neck when he hugged him and…

Jamie let go of his hair and took to clawing at his face. "UGH." He let out a gigantic sigh. It wasn't fair. He shouldn't feel so comforted by someone he shouldn't trust.

There was a rap at the door, and Jamie nearly jumped five feet in the air. He quickly sat up straight, wiping his face and letting out a heavy cough to clear his throat.

"Um…Come in?" He called to the closed door. The figure that entered his room was not the one he was expecting.

The Queen Tooth Fairy fluttered in. Around her head three hummingbird-like fairies buzzed. "Hi, Jamie." His eyebrows raised; she was still as magnificent as the first day he saw her. Her iridescent wings and feathers glowed in the soft light of the icy room.

"Tooth Fairy," Jamie stood and hoped his tear-stained cheeks didn't show through his smile. "What are you doing here?"

"One of my fairies saw you and Jack fly back here, so I decided to take a well-deserved break from work and come visit you two." She smiled. Jamie noted the impatient looks her worker fairies glared at her. She was obviously going out of her way to visit. Jamie smiled at the gesture; the comfort he felt was small, but needed.

"Well, you've just missed Jack." He jerked his thumb in the direction of the floor-length window, the night sky sparkling as he indicated the North Star. "I think Bunny's taking him to the North Pole right now."

"Oh, right. I forgot North's angry with him." Tooth contemplated aloud.

_He's not the only one_. Jamie grumbled to himself. He decided to change the subject to avoid getting upset around her. Her cheerful presence was something Jamie savored. "It's nice to see you again. Been a long time."

The fairy had a bright smile on. "It sure has! Oh my god—and look at you! Your teeth!" Jamie stepped back a bit when Tooth zoomed close and tentatively poked his mouth open. "I see the tooth that sofa knocked out grew back nicely. Ah! They're so straight! Did you get braces?" At the word, the three other tooth fairies dipped close to Jamie's open jaw, twittering excitedly.

Jamie laughed at her bubbly attitude and the Baby Teeth's merry chattering. He wiped his mouth once the queen's hands were out of it. "Yeah, when I was twelve. For about two years."

"Oh no!" Tooth's attitude was disappointed. "And I missed it? No fair." Her feathers quickly perked up again and she spun around Jamie a few times, examining. "Wow! Jack was right. You really did grow up handsome."

Jamie found himself blushing and then paused. "Jack… said that?"

"Oh, more or less." She didn't hide her knowing grin. "When he spoke with me the subtext was plain as day. Wow he just could _not_ shut up about you. He was talking almost as much as I do. Haha! But I don't blame him; you're quite the looker!" She giggled and bopped his nose lightly.

"When did you talk to him?" Jamie could tell something was off…

"Huh? Oh, last week, I think. Yeah." Tooth contemplated. She turned to one of her fairies, who nodded in confirmation. "Just after he snuck out to see you."

"What? So you knew about that?" Jamie held back a shocked expression.

"Yeah, he actually came to visit me after the first day." Tooth wondered why Jamie wanted to know. "I was the one who told him that he should go back and actually try _talking_ to you instead of just following you around and gawking."

"Well he took his time doing that." The brunette grumbled.

"What?" She asked Jamie. One tooth fairy whispered something in their queen's ear, but she waved them away.

"Turns out he was following me around for a week before he decided to show himself." Jamie crossed his arms.

"Seriously?" Tooth knit her brow then shook her head. "That creep. I told him it was fine. You wouldn't get mad at him if he did."

"Well…" Jamie coughed.

"Oh god. You didn't…"

"I kinda… threw rocks at him." The brunette rubbed his neck, embarrassed.

"Jamie," Tooth held back a laugh. "I mean… _sure_ Jack's an idiot, but you didn't have to…"

"Of _course_ I had to, Tooth." Jamie turned his palms up. "He left me for seven years. You can't _honestly_ expect me to be okay with that."

The queen let out a sigh. "No, I can't. And I'm so sorry that I was part of the plan. Why aren't you angry with me, then?"

"Because you're not the white-haired dumbass who followed me around for a week without saying anything." He seethed.

The Tooth Fairy stroked the feathers on her opposite arm, attempting to think of a response. "Listen, Jamie… I don't really know what makes Jack do some of the things he does. Maybe he was just so used to you not seeing him that he thought a direct approach might be too overwhelming for him. I thought he was getting better, since he joined the Guardians, but honestly we all have jobs to do and don't see much of each other. I think Jack's so used to being alone that he doesn't know the right way to get close to someone yet... Trust me, I've tried." She muttered, half to herself.

Jamie tentatively avoided the subject of her and Jack possibly in a romantic relationship. For some reason, it made his stomach churn unpleasantly. Jamie ran through what Tooth told him in his head. He suspected that what she told him could be true. He'd only just begun to get to know Jack again and from what he could tell, he was pretty happy. But then again, it was entirely possible that Jack's care-free, reckless attitude was just a façade. Jamie's mind visited their conversation at dinner. Jack's distant expression when he was asked about his family. Jamie knew he was hiding something, but everyone had their own secrets, right? He should respect his privacy and just let Jack deal with his issues on his own.

But even Jamie knew that idea was such a lie it was almost laughable.

The brunette ran a hand over his face, turning in place before facing the Tooth Fairy again. "Well, I just don't know what to do."

She turned her head as a tooth fairy successfully managed to grab her attention. Tooth listened to its rapid squeaks before nodding. "Yes, I _know_. Just one second." She looked back at Jamie. "I'm sorry but I've got to be on my way. I'd love to help you, Jamie, but I really don't know the answer."

The brunette nodded. He didn't know what he expected. If what Tooth said was true, then why would Jack let anyone in on a way to help himself? "Well, thanks anyway. It was thoughtful of you to visit." He presented expected politeness.

She offered a kind smile and gave him a quick hug. "It was great to see you after all these years. And I'm really sorry we made you wait so long."

He couldn't be angry with her. Her sweet attitude almost made Jamie want to hold her in a tight hug, to maybe catch some of those positive vibes. So he just shrugged, hopeful to transfer his forgiveness into her pink iridescent eyes. She gave a small smile, the beautiful and fur-soft feathers atop her head shaking with her understanding nod.

Her expression fell serious again. "But, um..." Tooth had a few fairies tugging at her feathers, tweeting to remind her of business elsewhere. "If you really want to fix things, you should talk to Jack. He'll listen to you, you know."

The teenager let out a tired breath. "Sure." He wanted to believe her. To think that all that was needed to fix this issue was a simple heart-to-heart. But… Jack would need to prove himself in a more drastic way than just a pinky-promise to earn his trust back this time.

"I mean it." The queen lingered. "He cares about you, really. You two share this... bond. It's strong and more so than it's been with any of the Guardians."

Jamie raised an eyebrow. "He and I share a 'more _profound_ bond', you might say?"

"Jamie, I'm being serious." The Tooth fairy fought his chuckle with a look of urgency. "I'm not really sure how I know, but trust me. Jack would do anything for you. And it scares me to think about what that 'anything' might entitle."

"Wha…" The brunette's face fell and showed confusion. "What could Jack do for me that would be so bad?"

Her feathers twitched. Her fairies impatiently tugged away. "I… don't want to think about it. Actually, never mind. It's probably nothing." She snapped back to focus. "You two just need to talk. Like, as soon as he gets back. Promise?"

"Yeah, alright. I promise." Jamie stopped his eyes from rolling. He still refused to believe that_ just_ talking would solve anything, but he didn't feel like discouraging Tooth. The queen finally flicked one of the fairies off her green feathers. "Alright, alright! I'm coming." She turned back to Jamie with a final look. "Take care, okay? And come visit the Tooth Palace sometime! I'd love to talk when I'm not too busy." A tooth fairy squeaked with annoyance. "Oh, okay. You can visit if you don't mind me talking over my work."

Jamie gave a laugh as the fairy nodded with satisfaction. "Sure thing." He grinned. "See you later, then."

"Take care of those beautiful teeth while I'm gone!" Came the farewell as the Fairy darted through the ice frame and out of sight quickly, her fluorescent green feathers tinting purple as she zoomed away.

Jamie found himself falling onto the bed, suddenly exhausted. Taking about his Guardian's emotional issues sure was tiring. Deep down, Jamie wanted to believe Queen Toothiana. But if only trust could be regained by words alone. No, Jamie needed something better. Some test that would prove that maybe he could begin to restore his faith in the winter spirit. Maybe… just maybe, if Jack would stay when Jamie asked him to this time… If he held his ground when Jamie demanded attention…

The teenager didn't have a second to reconsider his plan as he heard a loud gust of wind tear through the hallway. Jamie didn't need to call out to determine that the winter Guardian had returned. So he sat up on his large bed, crossing his arms. As he heard Jack's footsteps near his open door, Jamie put on his most irritated scowl and awaited the confrontation.

_Alright, Tooth. Fine. I'll try it your way._ Jamie's thoughts muttered. As Jack entered the room, however—his disheveled white hair dropping flakes of snow from his trip, guilty expression on his flawless features as he leaned on the open door frame— Jamie found his heart miss a previously pounding beat and he quickly scolded the blood that rushed to his face. _But if that doesn't work, I'm _definitely_ doing things my way._

* * *

**early update. you are welcome. **_  
_

**might have to wait a while for 8, though. i've got Guardian books to read~**


	8. Chapter 8

Jamie rose from his place on the bed, taking slow steps toward the Guardian in his doorway. He put on an expressionless face as he stood a few inches away from Jack. Jamie examined the winter spirit from the frosted spikes of his hair to his pale, calloused feet. Jack didn't make a sound and simply waited for Jamie to explode at him. There was another few beats of silence as Jamie crossed his arms and stared into Jack's piercing blue eyes. The Guardian allowed his shoulders to relax a bit; maybe Jamie wasn't _so_ angry with-

The sickening _SLAP_ of Jamie's palm connecting with Jack's frigid cheek echoed through the icy room.

He was taken aback by the timing, but not entirely surprised. "Ow," Jack flinched, ducking his head and rubbing the mark the brunette left. Jamie noticed it turning a sickly grey, instead of a red the rush of blood should have caused. It took that observation to remind Jamie that Jack really wasn't human at all. It was a small detail he had always kept in the back of his mind, but somehow it really hadn't occurred to him that the two of them were so different.

"Okay, wow. Okay..." Jack held up an index finger, signaling Jamie to wait in case he decided to take another swing. "I deserved that, yeah... Okay... Jamie."

The brunette didn't say anything yet. He continued seething, taking slight satisfaction in his attack.

"If... you wanna yell at me now... Go ahead." The Guardian had calmly stood up straight, spreading his palms open as if ready to soak in every scream the brunette intended to throw at him.

Jamie regarded the ancient teenager in front of him again. He really wanted to yell at him. To scream and hit and express just how betrayed he felt. Because he really didn't think Jack understood just how much trusting him meant. But Jamie was just... _so_ tired. Tired of constantly getting his hopes up. Tired of the one-sided trust he had in the Guardian. Tired of practically _adoring_ Jack, despite his constant screw-ups. He needed to be sure, this time, that if he really wanted to trust Jack again, it wouldn't end in another betrayal. Another... _heartbreak_...

Jamie found the word circling his thoughts, but wasn't quite sure why it fit so perfectly in the description of his feelings. He glanced up and down Jack's body again; searching for the possible explanation as to why he felt like his heart was shattering with Jack's every folly. Then he felt it again... The rapid increase of his heartbeat as he examined the Guardian's features. The flush to his face when he imagined those strong arms around him again. The chill that washed over him at the memory of Jack's icy breath enveloping Jamie's hot skin...

"I just..." The brunette managed out. "I don't know how to start..." His gaze wavered. "I can't..." He fumbled for the words. His voice felt weak. The adrenaline rush he'd felt as his hand collided with Jack's face had gone as soon as his mind touched on the intoxicating thought of his attraction for Jack. "...Why don't I hate you?"

The Guardian let out half a laugh mixed with a sigh. "Honestly I have no idea. I mean, if I were you, I definitely would. I'm the biggest idiot I know, after all." When Jamie's expression didn't soften at Jack's light joking, the Guardian got serious. "Look, Jamie, I really am sorry." He gave that light half-laugh again. "And I have no idea how many times I've apologized to you, but it isn't enough. I screwed up. I should have shown myself to you first thing. I'm an idiot and... I should have stopped you from hurting yourself..."

There was a very tense minute of silence as Jamie made no indication of forgiveness. "...Do you plan on explaining that, then?" The teenager asked to hold up the conversation. He didn't want Jack avoiding this subject. The question saved Jack from the continued awkward fumbling around in his hoodie pocket.

The Guardian made a stifled choking sound before clearing his throat. "Yeah... um. Okay." He ran a hand through his hair. "This, um, might seem really weak, or selfish, or... ugh. Just... just try to listen and wait to slap me again until I finish, okay?"

Jamie gave a small nod, taking a few steps back and sitting on his bed. Jack joined him, his fingers pulling at his sleeves as he began his explanation.

"You remember... when I said we left because the Man in the Moon made us?"

"Yeah," Jamie didn't take his eyes off Jack, but the Guardian avoided his gaze out of sheer guilt.

"And the reason for that was...he said you had something special inside you, and you needed time to grow?"

"Vaguely."

"Well..." Jack swallowed and bit his lip. "I think... that he wants you to become an Essence."

Jamie blinked. "A what?"

"An Essence... It's like... What I was before I became a Guardian." Jack searched for the words. He'd gone over the explanation a few times before on his own. "Like, Bunny's the Essence of hope. Tooth is memories. Sandy's dreams. North is wonder. And I'm joy. It's our 'center'. It's what we protect in children. It was only after the Moon chose us to become Guardians did we change into the Guardians of what we represent. Kinda like a promotion. And, like, Pitch is only the Essence of fear, since he's not a Guardian. Understand?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Jamie responded. "You guys are, like, immortal, right?"

"Seems that way."

"And you have powers that represent your center?"

"More or less."

"But why would the Moon choose me for that?"

Jack faltered. "I really don't know. Only the Man in the Moon does, and he's not really what you'd call 'communicative'..." Jack's eyelids fluttered and he got back on topic. "But, Jamie, I don't _want_ you to become one."

Jamie knit his eyebrows. "What? Why? It sounds like a pretty sweet deal."

"Ugh," Jack tugged at his hair again. "Well, ah, that's... It's just... something bad has to happen to become an Essence, and, uh, I just... I don't want you to, okay?"

"What?" Jamie repeated, slightly pissed. "That's not really up for you to decide, Jack."

"But, Jamie, I'm just trying to protect you." He tried to explain calmly, but his tone was hinting on desperate.

The teenager let out an exasperated laugh. "Oh my god. Jack, if you haven't noticed, you kinda suck at that."

Jack looked hurt. "The only reason I didn't show myself that time was because I _was_ protecting you!"

"What?!"

"If I avoided you, you'd eventually stop believing in me! Then maybe you'd lose that thing inside you the Man in the Moon wants to use. Then you wouldn't have to become an Essence!"

Jamie stared at Jack, offering an expression of indignation. "Are you... fucking _kidding_ me?!" Jack flinched, expecting Jamie to hit him again. "You saw me _cut_ my fucking _wrists_ and you think that's better than becoming immortal?"

"No, ugh," He ran a hand over his face. "Jamie, you know that's not what I meant."

"Then what _did_ you mean?" It was becoming exceedingly difficult to continue listening to any excuse the Guardian offered.

"Becoming an Essence is so much worse than it sounds!" His speech was rapid. "It's lonely and too much work and you basically do the same thing for all eternity! Not only that, but if—IF—you became one, that would mean you'd have to do something terrible and it would be so painful, more painful that just cutting your wrists, Jamie."

The brunette just shook his head, muttering under his breath. "_'Just_ cutting your wrists', he says. You're right. Because cutting myself isn't that big a deal." He gave his voice a darkly sarcastic whip.

"Damn it, Jamie, I didn't say _that_!" Jack rubbed the space between his eyebrows. He wanted to slap himself, create a mark that matched the one Jamie made. If only he could stop screwing up. His words came out sounding harsher than he ever intended, and he hated himself for not being able to get Jamie to understand why this was such a big issue for Jack. He took a deep breath, finally taking a moment to think through his next response and the best way to keep Jamie from getting angry with him again.

"Okay, listen. I didn't stop you because I'm an idiot. But also because I thought that, if I didn't, you'd lose faith in me, in the Guardians, in anything that made you the kid the Moon saw back then. If you were so unlike how you were seven years ago, then maybe that 'special' part of you would go away and the Moon wouldn't want to make you an Essence anymore.

"That's the reason why I stayed away for so many years. I could have gone to see you at anytime. It didn't matter that I'd be disobeying North. Honestly I'd have rushed to see you the second I had the chance, but I decided against it because I was trying to protect you from your fate. You think that this destiny is all fun and games, but really, it's _so far from it_... Becoming an Essence was the most painful and emotional experience of my life. In no way would I want you go through what I did."

Jamie couldn't hold up his angered expression. This was a new side of Jack. A darker side that intrigued the brunette and made him wonder if Jack looked this broken when he wasn't keeping up appearances for Jamie's sake. Jack's salt-and-pepper eyebrows were knit and there was a shine in Jack's blue eyes that echoed with the beginning of tears. Seeing such raw emotion in Jack's expression was shocking, and Jamie found his eyes locked on the Guardian's face and a sudden impulse driving his desire to embrace him again. Jamie had always imagined Jack as some strong, all-powerful being incapable of feeling hurt or regret. But he saw it now; the desperate need to protect Jamie present on Jack's features. Jamie couldn't believe he'd been so stupid; Jack really was telling the truth. He really wanted to keep him safe. Jamie could feel his mistrust melt away, the only thing on his mind being the Guardian he adored.

Jamie swallowed, speaking up when Jack didn't continue. "...What was it like? …Turning into an Essence…" Jamie asked the question cautiously and in a voice so unexpectedly soft it made Jack form eye contact with the teenager again. He stared for a moment, inhaling when the look of Jamie's concern made his heart beat faster. After a while he broke the contact and preceded the retelling of his transformation into an Essence three hundred years ago.

"It was so dark and I was completely disoriented; I thought I had gone blind." Jack had a lot of time to think about what happened under the ice. Because along with the memories of a lost family Jack had regained seven years ago, he was also reminded of what exactly occurred before his moment of death.

"I felt my body freezing over so intensely I could have mistaken it for burning. If I could scream, I would have. But I was suffocating... drowning. My arms and legs couldn't move and it felt like I would be crushed by the pressure that was dragging me down. My brain was unresponsive because the cold sent it into shock and I could do nothing but remain still; the only thing registering was pain. I wanted more than anything to end the torture. To just _die_ already…" The words were very broken. Jack didn't feel like crying, but the memory of pain was so intense that he could almost feel the suffocation overcoming him again.

"...The next thing I remember was a bright light, but it wasn't Heaven. I emerged from ice, and I was still experiencing that deathly cold. But after a moment it just numbed my entire body. I looked up, and saw that the light was actually the moon. I had no memories of my past life. I didn't know about the family I'd left behind. I didn't realize the sister I had would die without even knowing where I was..." Jack rubbed his stinging, dry eyes and muttered an incoherent finish.

Jamie was silenced. How could he react to something like that?

"So..." Jack looked to the brunette. "Do you understand now?"

The teenager stared back at the white-haired Guardian and let out his question. "Not... really... I mean, if anything, if I became an Essence, it would be..._my_ problem..." Jack's expression was replaced by shock as Jamie continued. "Yeah, all of that is terrible and it really sucks that you had to go through it... But it's not like _you_ would have to experience it again. _I_ would. I just don't understand why you're so caught up on the idea that this is your problem..."

There was a minute of silence as Jamie waited for Jack to react. For the moment, Jack held the surprised face but it soon melted away as his eyebrows knit.

"You seriously... _don't get it?_" Jack asked, tilting his head closer to Jamie's.

"No...?" The teenager responded.

The Guardian let out a small laugh before positioning his body to face Jamie properly.

"It _is_ my problem, Jamie." Jack said in a certain voice that made Jamie's stomach twist and his body temperature rise. "Because, no matter what threatens you, I want to protect you. I don't want you to have to go through something alone ever again. I know I'm being hypocritical, and maybe it's just my idiocy getting in the way again. And I know nothing I do really makes sense most of the time... But I hope this does: I will never let you go through what I did. I don't ever want you experiencing the pain I felt. And I might be acting selfish, or intruding, but I don't care. All I care about is your safety and happiness and that you're always with me. I don't want the Moon to take you away. I don't want to risk you losing any memory of me. I don't want you to forget about how much I care about you. I want you to stay with me for the rest of your mortal life…" Jack held a pleading expression behind his smile. "Do you get it now?"

Jamie didn't say anything. He didn't even nod. He just stared at the Guardian in front of him with an expressionless face. Jamie looked over Jack's features again and then once more. There was a beat, and then he gave the only sensible response he could think of.

The teenager grasped Jack's face. He moved in quickly, not allowing him a millisecond to react as Jamie kissed his Guardian with full force.

* * *

**/so many grammar mistakes i want to cry./**


	9. Chapter 9

Jack found the kiss to be a perfectly acceptable answer.

There was a definite urgency in the actions that followed. The winter spirit's arms wrapped around the teenager, pulling him closer by instinct and tilting his head to accept the kiss. Jamie held it for a while and when he finally broke away Jack quickly closed the space between their lips again. At this response, the brunette moved his hands from Jack's cheeks to the back of his head and neck. Jack shuddered, and he didn't know if it was because of the warmth that transferred from Jamie's body being so close or the electricity that seemed to rush into him at the contact of their lips. Either way, he relished the sensation.

The third kiss lasted until they needed oxygen. Their lips disconnected with a soft smack and Jack pulled away first, leaving Jamie tilting his head forward with his eyes closed, attempting to catch a ghost of the fleeting sensation. Jack's forehead rested on Jamie's and a grin came to his lips.

"So," The winter spirit panted slightly. He noticed Jamie's smile and admired his clear brown eyes. There was a certain relief filling his expression that Jack noticed for the first time. "Does this mean you forgive me?"

Jamie smiled and shook his head. Why did he even need to ask? "Of course I do." The teenager's face fell after a beat, and he seemed to just realize what had happened. "Oh my god..." A blush ran through his cheeks and he found himself burying his head between Jack's neck and shoulder. "I can't believe I just did that..." He muttered into Jack's cold skin. "Jesus Christ... ugh... Sorry..."

"For what? Kissing me?" Jack asked, holding the teenager a little closer. Jamie let out an embarrassed groan in response. "You don't need to apologize for that!" He let out a light laugh; it was cute seeing Jamie react like this. "I wouldn't even mind if you did it again."

"...Can I?" Came the teenager's tentative request. His breath warmed Jack's skin with each word.

"Of course..." Jack answered. He had his chin resting on Jamie's brunet head, taking a moment to inhale. The teenager didn't smell of anything in particular. Not of chocolate, the color that matched his radiant eyes. Nor of cinnamon, like the hue tinting his soft hair. The Guardian couldn't properly label the scent, but enjoyed it. The brunette held the simple scent of Jamie, it was finally decided, and Jack found it quite intoxicating.

Jamie shifted, raising his head slowly. The teenager's arms were still draped over his Guardian's shoulders and Jack's remained around Jamie's waist. His eyes met Jack's and he began leaning in, glancing into his eyes, down at his lips and then back. Jack didn't stir and allowed Jamie to move as slowly as he needed to. The teenager hesitated for a single moment before finally touching their lips together lightly.

The prior elated impulse driving their actions the first time was gone. Jack and Jamie's movements were delicate, gradual, and thought out. Jamie had never kissed anyone before Jack, so his progression was unpracticed and slightly lacking. To Jamie, this time felt more awkward than the first. Before, everything was just so spontaneous and he didn't really think about what he was doing. His subconscious brain was just following the movements often showed on TV and described in the books he'd read. But this time Jamie was so aware of his every action. The kiss in its simplicity was amazing and Jamie noticed how effortlessly it fit between their lips. But the rest of the… _stuff_ was what worried him.

Was his hand supposed to be there? Should he tilt his head a different way? Jamie felt like he should be doing something more. He guessed that what it came down to was he couldn't express his feelings properly with the simple touch of their lips. He needed Jack to know how much this meant to him. How important his trust was. He needed to hold Jack as tight as he could, stoke every lock of his beautiful white hair, memorize each curve of his immortal body…

He was grateful when Jack pressed back, moving one hand to stroke the skin near his ear with his thumb while the rest of his fingers caused goose bumps on his neck. He felt his stomach do back flips when Jack's tongue was running across his bottom lip. Jamie opened his mouth slightly to allow it entrance. The teenager was suddenly reminded of licking a popsicle as Jack's freezing tongue encircled his own.

It had been a while since Jack had kissed anyone. Three hundred years ago, he remembered there was a girl. A girl with hair the color of gold. People around town had mentioned her, but never with a positive tone. Jack heard them refer to her as "The Devil's Mistress" for her rumored affairs with several of the men around town. He'd passed by her a few times, taking note that she was rather pretty. She didn't look like a witch, or really any kind of evil, so Jack disregarded the whispered gossip concerning the mysterious girl.

Now, Jack wasn't vain, but did recognize that he was fairly attractive, and the girl definitely noticed. While walking around town, she'd caught his glance occasionally, offering a giggle and then returning to what she was formerly occupying herself with. Jack thought nothing further of her for the longest time until one night in the summer. He had been roaming the outskirts of the village, returning home after taking a swim in Burgess's deep pond. He'd heard the shuffle of leaves, and let out a shout as he was pulled into the shrubbery. He was taken aback a moment when he saw it was the blonde girl who had surprised him. She held out a soft finger, placing it over Jack's open lips and mimicking the action on her own mouth. Jack was astonished when he found himself accepting the girl's presentation of a deep kiss. She'd pressed him roughly against a tree and Jack's hands instinctively clung to her curved sides. He followed each movement she made with her tongue; their lips only separating by about at millimeter then to have the girl smash them back together. Her hands ventured to every inch of Jack's body and he didn't even think he wanted to stop her.

Jack never saw the girl again. And his last look was of her rising from a previously kneeled position, wiping her mouth and offering a final wink. She'd left him shaking against a tree trunk and was rumored to have run off in the night, far away from Burgess and possibly back down to Hell.

That moment in his life had been sudden, but Jack often looked back and wondered just why he had let a complete stranger do those things to him. Her actions were definitely arousing, and at seventeen years of age Jack was really just a normal teenager with normal impulses and desires. And in his same state of confusion, Jack felt he understood some part of his nostalgia. That encounter had taught him to take more chances. To risk safety for personal needs. It was… healthy, in a foul sort-of-way. But, most importantly, that satanic whirlwind of a maiden and her forceful teachings educated him on how to… _perform_.

Yet kissing Jamie was different. Incredibly different. Jack's first kiss had been filled with a rotten, selfish form of lust. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing, but thought of nothing except the actions that felt the best to him. He had run his fingers down the girl's body, groping at any bit of flesh that appealed to him. He forced his tongue down her throat. He pulled through her golden hair. He needed to hear more of her satisfying moans. He didn't care that he might be hurting her. And by the end of their session, he didn't care that she might choke.

Yes, that night Jack had been sickeningly selfish, and it genuinely scared him.

But at the moment, in his Ice Palace and taking in the teenager's gentle warmth and sweet taste, Jack was thinking of no one but Jamie. Of his thin frame as it arched its closest toward him. Of his soft and warm lips that ate up every kiss they shared. Of how much Jack would give to see him safe forever.

The winter spirit was reminded of the deal he had made with himself: Nothing too sudden while you're with Jamie. It was for the best. The teenager wasn't a guarantee, after all. Jack could slip up. Take too many chances and lose him again. No, Jamie was a reward. Only when Jack behaved and kept him away from any possible harm could the winter spirit move quickly. And he didn't mind the deal, really. Jamie's happiness was most important right now. So while they continued to kiss, touch, and breathe, Jack followed what Jamie was doing and didn't carry out anything he thought was uncalled for. He didn't slide an icy hand under the brunette's shirt. He didn't nip at any bit of Jamie's skin. Jack was being careful, for once in his life, and just hoped it would all pay off.

A sudden reminder passed through Jack's thoughts as Jamie's hands twirled a bit of his white hair.

"Hmm, Jamie," Jack mumbled through the brunette's lips. He attempted to break away, only to have Jamie blindly pull him back again. Jack loved kissing him and was glad to see the feeling was mutual, but he really needed to tell him something.

"Jamie," He repeated during a small break for air, only to be ignored again. Jack rolled his eyes and finally moved his hands to lightly push their chests apart. Jamie let out a huff, opening his eyes and giving Jack a mixed look of plea and annoyance. "Wait," Jack instructed.

'_Wait'?_ The brunette's bottom lip pouted ever so slightly. He definitely didn't want to hear that word. Not since he was starting to get used to the amazing sensations kissing Jack caused him. "What is it?"

"I just remembered, actually… Which is kinda funny 'cause it's the only thing that's been on my mind lately…" He paused, taking a moment to inhale. "You, ah, you gotta promise me something…" Jack gave a silent request to continue.

"Okay…" The teenager proceeded cautiously. "What?"

The next action would be tricky. How to do this without screwing up everything he'd been trying so hard to preserve? But it needed to be done. To protect Jamie.

Jack reached up to his own neck and cautiously pulled Jamie's left hand off it. He looked into the teenager's eyes while he turned the palm up carefully and rolled up the sleeve as the brunette's arm flinched. Jamie glanced down and back up again with panic, opening his mouth to protest but Jack shook his head. He knit his salt-and-pepper eyebrows in concern. "Shh," His forehead met the brunette's and one of Jack's hands went to the back of Jamie's head as he placed a soft kiss on his shaking lips.

_No, no, no… not now!_ The teenager's thoughts screamed. They were having such a perfect moment a second ago… _Don't ruin it with something like this!_ He knew crying would only worry Jack more, but Jamie couldn't help it. He knew what Jack was about to say, and it terrified him. He knew Jack was trying to help, and he wasn't resentful for it. Any sign of compassion was all Jamie ever really demanded. One kiss was far more than enough. But now Jack was pulling _this_? Jamie felt his heart breaking at the unimaginable amount of compassion he was receiving. His right hand went to cover up his mouth, which had begun to quiver as tears silently fell from his eyes. He just really didn't think he could follow through with what his Guardian was about to request…

"Promise me you won't ever do this to yourself again." Jack indicated the marks on Jamie's wrist. The teenager couldn't contain the sob that pushed past his fingers as Jack's lips touched down on the first mark, then the second, and then the third… By the fifteenth kiss, Jamie was a mess. His shoulders shook and he kept his hand sealed over his quaking mouth. The tears weren't necessarily caused by joy. Tears of relief? Gratitude? This moment made up for Jack refusing to stop him in the first place tenfold. Yes, he was still upset about that. But even if Jack had said he was sorry a million more times, no apology would be more meaningful than what he was doing now. The gesture in all its indescribable compassion and devotion was enough to leave Jamie speechless forever. His suffering really was worth it. After all, he'd gone through it for seven years, and now being reunited with Jack was more amazing than he could have ever expected.

The Guardian lifted his head from Jamie's wrist, ending the trail of kisses with a final soft peck on his lips. "I'm here to stop you next time, though, but I'd rather not have a reason to." His blue eyes offered Jamie a comforting smile. "So," He held up his pinky finger, forehead returning to rest on Jamie's. "Promise?"

Jamie let out a breathless laugh through his tears. He finally removed his hands from his mouth, taking a second to wipe his eyes before locking his smallest finger with his Guardian's tightly. "Y-yes. Of course, I promise… I'll… try. I really will… B-but only if you're with me. Just stay with me forever and never think of leaving ever, ever again, okay?" His words poured out with more sudden sobs and took the form of a desperate whine. The faster his words the quicker Jack was to let out a small concerned laugh and pull Jamie into a tight hug.

"Aw, haha, no, Jamie, don't cry. It's okay. Of _course_ I'll stay. Forever, remember?" Such an agreement made twice was sealed with a kiss and Jack broke away after a moment to wipe away Jamie's tears with his thumb. The teenager had felt a huge weight lifting off his shoulders every time Jack touched him. An ancient ache ebb away with each reassuring promise. But the most comfort he felt was being able to look at Jack's beautiful face and know he could kiss him. Know that Jack wouldn't push him away. Know that he could just lay there for hours with him, kissing and holding each other and staying _together_.

Jamie and his Guardian.

Jack and his believer.

Together for as long as one of them shall live…

* * *

**_[hums Get Down On Your Knees and Tell Me You Love Me] _**

**i mean what who said that. **

**(im rly busy right now chapter 10 might take a while don't lose faith in me.)**


	10. Chapter 10

Jamie fell asleep in Jack's arms, which bothered neither participant. The winter spirit's body wrapped around the teenager was comforting, to say the least. As Jamie's eyes grew tired, his Guardian positioned them so his forehead was tucked under Jack's chin and Jamie's arm would loosely drape between Jack's stomach and hip. His other hand linked fingers with Jack's while the rhythm of the spirit stroking his hair lulled him into a deep, placid state of mind. The last thing he remembered was the sensation of Jack's lips on his and a small, inaudible whisper that Jamie didn't catch before drifting off to sleep.

He had his first dream in seven years that night.

Jamie saw the scene as an observer and couldn't, in his unconscious state, fully admire the beautiful cavernous structure before him. Shades of pink and gold were all around him, and it was only as small hummingbird creatures zoomed past did Jamie realize that he must be at the Tooth Palace. Sure enough, the scene shifted, zooming in on two figures deeper in the palace. Queen Toothiana zipped in a frenzy, shooting commands at the rapid flow of tooth fairies flying in and out of the chamber.

"Hey, Tooth, can Guardians die?" Jamie saw Jack reclining on one of the curving pillars. The winter spirit had been previously lounging around the palace as Tooth worked. Jamie unconsciously wondered if Jack often just lay around in other Guardians' domain when he wanted to, simply enjoying the presence of someone else.

The queen glanced over at him. "Why are you asking?"She inquired between her orders.

"No reason." The ice spirit swung his staff lazily. "It just seemed that since people can stop believing in us, and we can 'go away' because of it, wouldn't that mean we'd die?"

Tooth returned to checking one of the enormous pillars containing what Jamie assumed to be teeth. "I... I guess so. I mean, Pitch isn't dead, but maybe that's because fear isn't completely gone from the world..."

Jack sat up, stroking the feathers of one of the tooth fairies as it passed by. "So if I stopped making it snow, people would stop believing in me and I'd eventually die? Like, for real this time?"

The queen fairy paused, facing the teenage spirit with slight concern. "This is all hypothetical… right, Jack?"

The winter guardian's face fell for a split second but he quickly gave a light laugh. "Yeah, oh yeah, of course. Why would I want to die? Being immortal is awesome, are you kidding? I can be young forever. My _life_ is awesome!" The lies were obvious. Tooth didn't say anything, but continued to cast worried glances at her colleague until he finally rose from the pillar. He made up some excuse to leave and quickly kicked the air, propelling himself out of the palace and leaving a trail of snow in his wake.

Jamie woke to the familiar smell of mint and his weary eyes opened to focus on the blue fabric of Jack's hoodie against his face. Jamie's stifled groan and small stretch got Jack's attention.

"Good morning," He greeted with a soft smile and Jamie felt a grin slip to his face at the normality of the situation. He felt his Guardian's arms draped over his side and above his head on the pillow. Jamie moved from his balled position to snake his limbs around Jack, burying his face into the spirit's clothing. "Sleep well?"

Jamie nodded, not fully awake yet. It took a beat for the teenager to remember that he'd been dreaming a few moments ago and he raised his head.

"I had a dream!" Jamie's smile was huge and made Jack return the expression; for a moment, the teenager resembled the enthusiastic child he used to be.

"Yeah, I saw." The Guardian laughed and moved a hand to Jamie's hair, running fingers through it before showing it to him. There were a few sprinkles of gold dust on Jack's hand and Jamie reached up to retrieve more sand in amazement.

"There was dreamsand flowing over your head as you slept." His Guardian elaborated. "So, what was it about?" Jack asked out of courtesy; he had seen the dreamsand take the form of a snowflake and realized with satisfaction who Jamie was dreaming of.

Jamie's face fell when he began remembering the conversation that took place in his unconscious state of mind. "It was kinda... weird." His smile returned with a light laugh to cover up his confusion and concern. "You were there and..." He debated whether or not to actually tell him. "I... don't really remember. It was weird." Jamie repeated. "It... felt like a memory. But, like, it wasn't _mine_... but it felt so familiar... I'm not making any sense, am I?"

"Nah, I get it." Jack giggled at Jamie's vague explanation and offered some assistance. "Maybe Sandy's trying to tell you something." The Guardian suggested in jest. Jamie shrugged and nuzzled his head in Jack's hoodie again.

"I hope not..." The teenager muttered.

"Hm?" Jack stopped stroking his brunet hair, glancing down at Jamie.

"Ah, nothing. Never mind." He shook his head, dismissing it. He didn't think telling Jack about what his dream had revealed would solve or help anything at the moment. The scene that had played out in his head had an abnormal quality to it. Even Jamie, who hadn't had anything to compare it to in seven years, felt like the dream was a bit too orderly and realistic. Maybe the Sandman really was trying to tell him something... The things Jack had been asking about caused a familiar unsettling sensation in Jamie's stomach.

But he didn't have time to dwell on the memory of his dream for long as Jack tightened his comforting grip on him. Jamie needed to relax. He pushed away the thought of Jack ever being unhappy. He had too much to worry about. Like the fact that their time together was numbered, Jack had disobeyed the Man in the Moon, and Jamie had just run away from home. Not to mention what might happen when he turned eighteen. Too much on his mind. Too many responsibilities. Jamie decided to ignore them and enjoy the time he spent with the winter spirit.

The teenager moved his hands to Jack's hair as he graciously accepted the kiss his Guardian placed softly on his lips. They remained like that for a while, kissing in bed as the sun began to shine through the gigantically beautiful windows. The dazzling morning cast light on the lazy dust hovering in the air all around them. Each icy surface of the room reflected crystal designs against an adjacent object. Everything around the two of them was so beautiful and comforting. The pillows were softer than silk and the blanket was light as air. With the chill of Jack's tongue and body, Jamie felt, while lying in that bed frozen to the ground, that he was actually among the clouds.

Jack and Jamie's hands were gently gliding over every surface of their partner's body. Jack's fingers traced the outline of Jamie's back through his shirt, causing the brunette to shiver. The teenager had slept in his clothes, and Jack wondered for a moment if he was cold in just a t-shirt and jeans. He quickly forgot the concern, though, as Jamie simply arched closer to Jack and traced the spirit's perfect teeth with his warm tongue. Every action was slow, but they didn't mind. The morning had never been a favorite time for either of them, so spending it with each other was enough to make the beginning of the day increasingly bearable.

It wasn't until the soft morning sun had turned to casting the shadows of the room with harsh noontime rays did the teenager and Guardian shift from their comfortable positions. Jamie stomach had given an embarrassing growl, putting an end to their kissing when Jack failed at stifling a laugh.

They ate lunch in the courtyard, as Jack insisted. The outdoor patio displayed a magnificent view of the ocean. The sun's rays reflected off its navy blue surface, making diamonds dance on the water. The food was brought by the Ice Imps on lightweight platters and the two of them ate every bite.

After they had finished, Jack signaled an end to their meal by stealing a kiss from Jamie.

The winter spirit laughed and pulled away from the teenager's surprised face, licking away the chocolate sauce he'd removed from the corner of Jamie's mouth. The brunette quickly recovered and caught on. He tugged on the blue fabric of Jack's hoodie and brought the spirit in for an extended kiss.

They _never_ got tired of kissing. Even as they made their way back upstairs to continue, both participants fully enjoyed the sensation of the other's lips locked with theirs. Jamie didn't mind the cold feeling that shot through him every time Jack touched his skin. In fact, he found it soothing. And Jack loved the jet of warmth emitting from Jamie's fingertips as they glided across his body. Their mix of hot and cold leveled to a perfect temperature when they were together.

They had returned to lying on the bed. Jamie hadn't a thought on his mind aside from the flawless figure of Jack in his embrace. He loved this lazy day of cuddling and whispering and just laying around for hours. With all the practice, Jamie was becoming quite experienced in the art of kissing. He'd learned how much tongue he should use to earn a small moan from the back of Jack's throat. Which bit of Jack's exposed skin was the softest, and how hard to bite down once he'd found it. Jamie felt he was gaining more useful information while he wasn't at school.

That's how their first day together commenced. Simple kisses and bruising hickeys were enough to satisfy them for now. Soft, passionate whispers of "Let me stay with you." "Forever." were uttered over and over again between their heated kisses. The both of them could proudly label that day as the best they'd ever had.

It wasn't until the next sunrise did the teenager hit upon anything wrong with their current living situation.

It was only their second morning together, but Jack felt like he'd spent another three hundred years with the teenager he adored. Time slowed when he kissed Jamie. It paused in the heated moments of their embrace and allowed them to ignore the world. Erase all misfortune from their troubled minds, at least for a moment. Forget about the responsibilities that lied ahead. Forget about living for another eternity. Forget about the inevitability of death. Forget everything and always remember how it felt to be close to one another.

Because now it was time to relax. Time to savor their numbered days of peace.

Jack was lying on his back, smirking from the unmade bed at the teenager entering the room.

"Enjoy your shower?" The Guardian eyed the single towel covering Jamie's lower half. The brunette held his old clothes in one hand, his red sweatshirt hung over his shoulder. His hair appeared even longer as it dripped water down his bare back. Jamie wasn't ripped, but Jack could definitely appreciate his modestly fit physique.

"Yeah," Jamie's face heated when he noticed Jack's eyes eating up every bit of him.

"You shoulda let me join you." Jack commented before rolling over onto his stomach, kicking his legs in the air childishly.

Jamie ruffled his wet hair a bit, smiling at the suggestion as he turned to face an ice wardrobe. "You would've made the water cold."

"Yeaaah, but you wouldn't be focusing on the _water_, sweetheart."

The teenager let out a chuckle. He swung the wardrobe doors open on their frozen hinges.

"Uh, Jack," A hand ran over his face, slicking back the few strands of wet hair sticking in front of his eyes.

"Yeah?" The guardian had turned over onto his back again, this time aimlessly knocking his feet together over his head.

"Two problems;" Jamie fumbled around the pockets of his sweatshirt and jeans.

Jack let his legs flop back onto the bed. "What?" He inquired, rolling onto his stomach again and propping himself up on his elbows.

"No clothes," Jamie gestured to the empty wardrobe and then placed a hand on his hip. Jamie wondered why he didn't think he'd need at least another change of clothing when he suddenly decided to live with Jack forever.

"I dunno, Jamie. I kinda like you better without them."

"And I don't have my iPod."

"Crisis."

"I'm serious, Jack." The teenager masked his slightly worried expression.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." The Guardian waved his hand and hopped up from the bed. "Well, what do you wanna do?" He put his hands in his pockets, sauntering closer to Jamie.

The teenager paused then mumbled "…I think we should just run back to my house for a minute."

Jack shrugged. "Okay, let's go."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, sure. We'll just go back really quickly and you can grab your stuff."

Jamie agreed with a thankful smile. Jack turned his back on the brunette to allow him to change into his old clothes. The Guardian rolled a snow globe lazily in his palm, bouncing it from hand to hand until Jamie was ready. With a smash to the floor, the globe bloomed into a portal. Jack took Jamie's hand, entwining their fingers before stepping through the vortex together.

Jamie's house was quiet. Even as he began rummaging through his closet and throwing his needed clothing into a bag on his bed, he didn't think anyone was home. Jack leaned against a wall as Jamie packed; taking a moment to smile at the nostalgia this room brought him.

The walls that had once displayed drawings of mythical and monstrous creatures were now covered in endless posters and pictures of band members. Jack's eyes glanced over each one and admired the variety. The Guardian wasn't very up to speed with some of the current bands and musicians, but could at least recognize the differences between metal and rock.

"'Mindless Self Indulgence'?" Jack read off the poster closest to him. He raised an eyebrow at Jamie. "Interesting name..."

Jamie didn't look at Jack and simply continued to stuff a few pairs of jeans into his bag. "Is that sarcasm? I think it is. You can get out, thanks." He responded flatly.

Jack chuckled, glancing over the posters and staring at a few that caught his eye. There were some notable ones. Like the poster of three guys in their underwear.

"'Blink-182'." The Guardian read the bold lettering over the picture. "What does that even mean?"

"Jack." Jamie's tone warned. He crossed his arms at the giggling winter spirit. "This could go a lot faster if you-"

"Jamie?" A voice shot through the air. The teenager's stomach lurched and Jack froze when the call rang from downstairs. "Honey, is that you?"

There was a pause and Jamie offered in a weak tone. "M-Mom?"

* * *

**oh my fucking god i did it.**

**i finished chapter 10.**

**you all may kill me now.**


	11. Chapter 11

As soon as the response was echoing through his door and out into the hall, Jamie felt immediate regret and found himself cringing when his mother repeated the call of his name. The door swung open, and Jamie quickly grabbed the open bag on his bed and dropped it to the ground, kicking it under the frame before his mom could notice. He cast a quick glance at Jack, who remained still and silent. Jamie found the action pointless, seeing as, as far as his mother was concerned, the teenager was alone in his room.

Jamie's mother stared for a beat, taking in the image of her son with a shaken expression. The brunette didn't look her in the eye and was caught flinching as she began yelling.

"Where have you been?!" Anger; the first emotion she let her son see.

"I was at a friend's." Well, he wasn't lying.

Her hands flew up in the air, disbelief apparent. "For two days?!"

"Technically a night, a day, and a morning..." He attempted a joke but was immediately shot down when his name was screamed again. "Okay, I'm sorry. I know, I should have told you."

"Yes, you should have! I've been worried _sick_, young man!" Her hands were on her hips. Jamie noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the messy state of her brunette hair in its bun. With a jolt of guilt he realized that she probably hadn't slept since he left.

"I know, mom, I'm sorry." He repeated because what else could he say? 'It's cool, mom; I ran away with my imaginary boyfriend!' didn't seem like enough of an excuse. A glance at Jack, whose eyes were fixated on his mother, did nothing to assist the situation. "But at least I'm okay. I'm here, now."

This got her attention. Her face fell and she faltered. "Yes..." She said after a moment. Her expression changed and she was soon displaying a relieved smile. "Yes, you're okay."

Jamie was surprised by the sudden wrap of her arms around his shoulders. He accepted the hug, just glad she wasn't yelling at him anymore. She kept repeating "You're okay. You're safe. That's all that matters. You're okay." She seemed to be reasoning with herself more than him.

"Y-Yeah, mom. I'm fine." He looked over at Jack, who hadn't moved during the entire conversation. His eyebrows were raised, as if the whole concept of scolding was some foreign activity and observing it in silence would further his knowledge. Jamie cast him a desperate look, but the Guardian wasn't paying attention. His eyes darted between Jamie's mother and the tense body language the teenager upheld, even while being embraced. Why did Jack keep looking at them like that?

Jamie was suddenly held at arm's length and his mother looked him in the eyes with a gentle expression attempting to be stern. "Promise you won't _ever _do that again." She commanded. Jamie saw the tears forming in her eyes filling him with even more guilt than before as he gave the automatic response

"Yeah, of course I won't. I won't, I promise." His repeat solidified the false promise and accepted a final hug from his shaken mother.

"Okay, good... Okay..." She straightened her hair, avoiding eye contact as she fussed over Jamie's clothing and appearance. With a quick hand she discreetly moved Jamie's sleeve up, letting out a sigh that almost went unnoticed. "Right. So." She cleared her throat. "You're home. You're safe. No problem." She confirmed with a nod. She looked into Jamie's eyes again, placing a concerned hand on his forehead. "Dinner will be ready in a moment. Do you need a few minutes to rest, sweetheart?"

Jamie shook her hand off his head. "No, I just, ah, I've got a lot of... homework, and I kinda..." He shrugged vaguely, failing to come up with any further excuse.

"Ah, yes... I understand." She nodded again, placing her hand on the doorknob. "I'll just be making dinner, then. You take your time, sweetheart. You can take the day off of school tomorrow, if you're not feeling well by the morning."

"Right..." Jamie stared. "Thanks, mom."

"No problem, honey." She gave another smile before opening the door.

There was silence for a moment after she'd left. Jamie's shoulders relaxed and he turned to a quiet Jack. He stared at his unresponsive Guardian for a moment before rolling his eyes, bending over and picking up the bag he'd kicked under his bed. As he resumed stuffing clothing into the bulging fabric, Jack finally spoke.

"What are you doing?" He looked directly at the brunette.

Jamie looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "Packing?" He waved a black shirt at the spirit, offering visual representation to the obvious response. "Would you like to actually _help_ now?"

There was a second before Jack spoke. "...Jamie, you have to stay here."

The brunette faltered, glancing back up at the Guardian with skepticism. "What?" The winter spirit's deathly serious expression made him anxious. "But... you promised!" He felt a mix of fury and grief spread through his body as he slammed his clothing onto the bed. Jack had _promised_. Like, with his pinky and everything! Sworn they'd stay with each other. Together forever and outrun the pain of the real world. Avoiding responsibility and enjoying every moment they spent together. Was he seriously trying to break _another_ promise?

Jack saw the immediate shock that overwhelmed Jamie and was quick to react. "What? No, Jamie, I didn't mean it like that. No." He moved close to the teenager, taking his hand and gently stroking his anger away. "We can still be together, just... You can't leave again."

The brunette glared at his Guardian. "Why?"

Jack looked at him as if the answer were obvious. "Jamie, this is your _home._.. You've got a family here."

"I don't _need_ my family." Jamie argued. "All I need is _you _and we both know that!"

"You've got a mother who loves you here. Do you really want to put her through the pain of losing her son again?"

"I..." Jamie didn't look at Jack as he mulled over an answer. "I worry her too much when I'm here. If... If I wasn't, she'd be able to relax for once."

"That's not true,"

"You're not here, Jack. You don't know how much I stress her out."

"She just loves you."

"No she doesn't."

"Of course she does! She's your _mother_."

"I'm just her responsibility."

"Not_ just_—"

"And I only give her reasons to regret ever having me."

The delivery of Jamie's words were what shocked Jack most of all. They were so quick and exact. Those thoughts must have plagued Jamie for ages. When he shot them at the Guardian, they seemed like the opinions one might think over and over in times of desperation. Maybe when Jamie was in the middle of one of his fits. Clawing away tears and banging around his room. Each sound would worry a mother to no end, but Jamie couldn't help it. Just like his mother couldn't help the fact that he was born. He was a burden. His mother only worried and Jamie accepted no offer of help. It drove her to tears. She just didn't know what to do anymore. Jamie only worried her. Forced her to insanity. Left her helpless. Jamie wasn't the son she wished for.

He had come to accept this fact, with much difficulty. He tried to believe that he might get better. Maybe if he just _stopped being sad…_ But of course things are never that easy. He was still a head case. He'd only ever be an unwanted burden who couldn't save himself. He'd relied on some figment of his imagination for seven years to come back and help him out of that terrible chasm of suctioning depression. The responsibilities he'd been expected to uphold were weighing him down, pushing him farther into that pit.

Then Jack showed up. Gave him hope and Jamie felt the weight lifting with each kiss they shared. He was so close to escaping that ugly black hole. He'd almost made it, too. Things were almost perfect again… But how would this new development affect Jamie's mental stability?

Jack didn't continue to argue. There was a beat before he moved across the room and wrapped his arms tightly around Jamie in one fluid motion. He didn't say any more. He couldn't. There were tears in his eyes as the Guardian found himself relating to every explanation Jamie had given. He thought of the connection he'd first felt when he saw Jamie again. Sweet, innocent, believing Jamie... All grown up and just searching for an easy answer. Why was he put here in this terrible place people called reality? Why was he _still_ here? Why can't he make others love him like he loved them? _Why can't he just be happy?_ It was only now that Jack realize how much Jamie and him really had in common.

Jack felt shock when Jamie let his pitiful expression be seen. Terror when he admitted the feelings he'd had. But through every emotion he experienced at Jamie's confession, the Guardian felt empathy above all else.

He knew what it was like to feel unloved. For three hundred years he'd been unseen, unheard of, unwanted. He knew how it felt to suffer through helplessness. He'd seen so many children grow old, feel pain and loss, and Jack was forced to stand through it all because there was nothing he could do. He was just a myth blowing with the frigid winter air. Not real. Not important.

He couldn't even help Jamie, the child he cared for the most. While the years inched by, Jack was forced to avoid his first believer while he watched him struggle through hell.

Even during his first few encounters with the Guardians, Jack sensed that they were only speaking with him because he was their responsibility. The Man in the Moon had basically dumped Jack on their doorstep and left them to take care of him. He felt like a burden, and even as they started to warm up to him, Jack didn't believe they really cared about him. However, the Guardians were his family, now. But sometimes family meant tolerating the ones you've been stuck with.

The teenager and spirit's embrace tightened as Jamie buried his head in the nape of Jack's neck. The winter spirit felt Jamie's tears singe his skin on impact as Jack stroked the brunette's hair. This felt right. Safe. Jack blocked all bad thoughts from Jamie's troubled mind. There wasn't anyone the teenager trusted more.

But then Jack goes and says something like that. "You have to stay here." Jamie knew his Guardian meant well, but did Jack realize what a serious demand that was? Did he really want him to stay in this horrible world of reality? Where judgmental eyes stared him down on a regular basis? Where there was no safe haven aside from the solitude of his bedroom? Where time sped up, refusing to stop for anyone and forcing responsibility on those unwilling? Things were so perfect back at the Ice Palace. Didn't Jack see that? Couldn't he just let it all go and run away with him? Jamie felt like he was being thrown back into that chasm. And he didn't know if he could make it out again.

"Don't do this to me." Jamie pleaded into his Guardian's skin. "I don't want to stay here."

"Jamie…" Jack whispered and kissed the top of his head. "I can't let you give up on all this so quickly."

Jamie let out a cold, muffled laugh. "I've been enduring this hell for over seventeen years, Jack. I think I've earned the right."

The Guardian pulled away to look Jamie in the eyes. "Yeah, but this time it'll be different. I'm gonna stay with you, remember? I won't let anyone hurt you."

Jamie didn't respond. He simply gave his Guardian a soft and thankful kiss. He wasn't sure if he believed him—that school and real life in general might actually be tolerable if he had an invisible ice spirit as his bodyguard—but he appreciated the gesture.

"Five days." Jack broke away and moved a bit of Jamie's hair behind his ear. "We'll stay here until your birthday."

There was a pause, the ominous mystery of what event was to occur on the twenty second hung in the air. Jamie didn't want to think about his birthday. He didn't want to speculate what plans the Man in the Moon held for him. He didn't want to think about possibly turning into an Essence.

Jamie knew he would be able to handle becoming one. After all, from what Jack explained, it was almost like dying. The teenager wasn't going to pretend he hadn't thought about death, because it had occurred to him on many occasions. The ideas had circulated in his head on the days his fits were at their worst. He'd thought about ending the stupidly repetitive pain and rejection. He'd considered a quick and easy way out.

But now there was a problem: Jack. Jamie cared about the Guardian more than he ever thought he would. And now that they were together, Jamie couldn't bring himself to let the thought of ending his life even cross his mind. He had Jack's feelings to consider. How would the spirit feel after he was gone? Jamie's thoughts ran back to Jack's expression when asked about his family a few nights ago. When the spirit's eyes became distant and clinging to something he couldn't possibly hope to obtain ever again. That moment seemed so far away now. So many things had happened since then; Jamie had almost let that heartbreaking expression slip from his mind.

Joyful moments had replaced it. Moments that repaired the torn and useless memories he held beforehand. Jack had made an undying promise to stay by his side. Jack had kissed him. They had stayed together. They kissed some more. They told stories of their lives without each other. They consoled one another when their thoughts tried to wander into dark territory. The bond they shared had strengthened. They began falling in love.

How would it feel to see that expression on Jack's face again? But instead of the family he'd lost occupying his mind, it was Jamie. Jamie would be the one who he would miss and long for. Jamie would be the one he would lose unwillingly. Jamie would be the one he couldn't bring back.

That haunting outcome was definitely a possibility. The teenager could very well lose his memory, as Jack did, if he became an Essence. And forgetting these few amazing days he spent with his Guardian would be the worst thing Jamie could think of.

* * *

**hey guys long time no see. im exhausted and completely surprised that i managed to finish this. **

**ghjutrsfdklj i kinda don't really know whats gonna happen next so yknow bear with me my friends. **


	12. Chapter 12

It was Friday. The eighteenth of February. Three days and eighteen hours until Jamie's birthday. Three days and six hours since Jack and Jamie's reunion. Two days and twenty two hours since their first kiss. Twelve hours since they decided to stay at Jamie's house, and less than two hours before Jamie would be late for school.

The morning began as it had for the past three days: Jamie had fallen asleep with Jack by his side. The Guardian's cold body welcomed the warmth of Jamie's at the embrace. The bed was smaller than the one back at the Ice Palace, but they didn't mind; just another excuse to hold each other tighter. Jamie could fall asleep much easier than he ever had before. Jack would whisper a soft goodnight into Jamie's ear and kiss the back of his neck delicately. The soothing rhythm of the Guardian twisting bits of his hair around his finger lulled Jamie into a comforted sleep. This was perfect.

Well, _almost_ perfect. The buzzing of an alarm clock shook Jamie from his content state of mind and left his eyes stinging from their incomplete REM cycle. Both Guardian and teenager flinched at the unwelcomed noise. Jack let out a groan, burrowing his face into the crook of Jamie's neck. The brunette reached over to the obnoxious clock, eyes still refusing to open, and threw it as hard as he could at the wall farthest from his bed. The sudden action surprised Jack and he jumped, looking over at the now-silent alarm on the floor.

"And it survives impact!" The Guardian commented, mimicking an athletic announcer before letting his head fall back onto the pillow.

Jamie let out a chuckle, rolling over onto his stomach and covering his head with the blanket. "I should hope so," His words were muffled by the pillow his face was currently digging into. "I throw the fucking thing every other day."

Jack smiled at the teenager's thick-with-sleep voice reverberating against the pillow. The spirit propped himself up on an elbow, facing Jamie to idly twirl a bit of his long hair between his fingers. "Tired?"

Jamie snorted. "Nah, man, I'm _fine._" The brunette shifted, turning onto his back and rubbing his exhausted eyes. He yawned, taking a big stretch while murmured something along the lines of "ughuu.. Fuckin... uuugh. ...early for this shit. kkekk...shhoo." before looking up at Jack. He had a dorky smile on his face and was resisting the urge to call Jamie a complete cutie.

"...Do you even sleep?" Jamie raised an eyebrow. The revelation only just occurred to him upon seeing the spirit unaffected by the morning stupor.

The Guardian shrugged. "No."

"Wait, for real?" Jamie sat up a bit. Jack nodded. "So you're awake, like, all the time?"

"I don't really need to sleep. Immortal perk."

"So what do you do when _I'm_ asleep?"

"I dunno." He hadn't really given it much thought. "Space out... Think about you or whatever..."

"Yeah?" This got Jamie smiling. "What about me?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Jack slinked an arm around Jamie at this, pulling him closer slowly. "How warm you are..." Their eyes locked. "How perfect you are..."

Jamie pressed their foreheads together. "Hmm... go on..."

"And how you have hair that's a little too long but I like it because I can play with it." Jack ran gentle fingers through it. Jamie tilted into the touch, eyes closed and peaceful expression on his face. "And how you've got the cutest smile I've ever seen, and how I'd wish you'd show it more often. And how you've forgiven me for being an idiot on multiple occasions. And how I wish you didn't have to sleep, so I could kiss you sm'more"

"Well, I'm awake now," Jamie wrapped his arms around Jack's neck. "You can kiss me all you want." At this, Jack pressed their lips together, only to back away a second later.

"Ugh, Jamie," He said with a light laugh. "You've got morning breath."

"Oh, shut up." The brunette chuckled. "You're ruining the moment." His eyes had closed again and he pulled the spirit back. Jack gave up resisting, quickly tugging Jamie closer and falling into a content rhythm of interlocking lips and tangling tongues. They shared kisses for what seemed like hours. Jamie was attempting to distract himself from the thought in the back of his mind that he would have to get up and go to school soon. He didn't want to think about anything but Jack. He was tired of all other things. The repetitive feeling in the pit of his stomach that activated every time he thought of school and the future and responsibility was obnoxiously old. It seems all he did nowadays was worry about life after high school and stuff. He was disgusting himself.

But the future was inevitable. It would soon become the present and the present would just as quickly change to the past. Time was constantly shifting, continuously converting at a pace no one could keep up with. Soon Jamie would be eighteen. The unstoppable rotation of the Earth waited for nothing. Not the fears of a teenage boy. Not the worries of an immortal Guardian. Not even the compassion they shared could literally stop time, although their embraces seemed to. What the future held in store for them was a frightening mystery and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

There was a knock on his door. "Jamie?" His mother's voice called. "Are you going to school today?"

Jamie reluctantly ceased his kiss with Jack to answer. "Yeah, mom. I'm getting dressed right now."

Jack broke away when the teenager just went right back to kissing him. "Hey, seriously, it's like seven fifteen. You'll be late if you don't get dressed now." Jamie had slept in a simple t-shirt and sweatpants. He could very well just wear that to school, but the outfit held an air of laziness, and Jamie considered himself at least a little proud of his attire.

The teenager groaned and slouched up into a sitting position. "You just want me to take off my clothes."

The Guardian laughed. "That one was kinda transparent, huh?"

Jamie smiled but rose from the bed anyway. He strode across the room and opened the bedroom door.

"Where are you going?" Jack sat up.

"I needa brush my teeth, jeez." Jamie chuckled at the concerned expression his Guardian wore. "I'll be right back."

"I'll miss you!" Jack exaggerated his call as the teenager closed the door behind him.

The winter spirit fell back onto the mattress on an exhale. He took to staring around Jamie's room. More posters of guys in their twenties wielding guitars surrounded him. Jack thought the passion the teenager felt for these people and their music was endearing. It was nice to know there was at least one thing that made Jamie happy while Jack was gone.

There wasn't much else in Jamie's room aside from various piles of clothes and papers. An old television sat in one corner of the room and an equally ancient gaming system was plugged into it, gathering dust. A desk against his wall was almost unrecognizable from under the scattered papers and books that littered the surface. A laptop sat amidst the mess. It looked barely used, by the look of dust coating the surface. Jack found this odd; a teenage boy living at the peak of the technological era with an abandoned computer and outdated gaming system. Jack had noticed a rapid increase of the use of electronics in the past seven years, faster than he'd seen any invention take hold in all his three hundred and eighteen years of existence. So why would Jamie be one of the only teenagers disinterested in it?

Jack glanced to his left, at the bedside table the alarm clock had been on. His eyes caught something silver, and recognized it as an iPod. The Guardian sat up, reaching over to examine the artifact responsible for Jamie's desire to go back home in the first place. The model was at least ten years old. Its once-shiny surface was covered in a multitude of scratches and dents. A graying pair of earphones were plugged into the device and looked near to falling apart. This thing was Jamie's most important possession?

He turned the bulky iPod over in his hands a few times before deciding to put in an earphone. Jack pressed the menu button but only got half a second to glance at it.

"What are you—" Jamie had reentered the room. He had a millisecond to register what his Guardian was doing before taking an urgent step forward. "Jack, no. Don't—Give that to me."

The spirit raised an eyebrow. "Why? I'm not gonna break it."

"That's not…" The teenager was anxiously holding back the urge to snatch it out of Jack's hand. "Seriously, just give it."

Now Jack was beyond curious. "What have you got hidden on here?" He turned his back on the brunette and began pressing buttons. "Are you afraid I'm gonna—"

Jamie dove from where he was and onto the bed, grabbing for the iPod. Jack yelped, holding the device away from his reach on instinct as Jamie's body tumbled over his. They struggled, Jamie out of desperation and Jack out of sheer confusion. Eventually Jamie finally retrieved his iPod from Jack's grip, both of them breathing heavily from the tussle. The teenager clutched it tightly as Jack stared up at him, awaiting an explanation. Jamie's legs were straddling Jack from where they fell onto the ground. His free hand clutched Jack's wrist and pinned it down. Jack's left hand was pressed against Jamie's chest, intent on pushing him off but thinking better of it once they both seemed to realize they were acting ridiculous and froze in place.

"I…" Jack saw the blush quickly rise to Jamie's face. "I don't even know how to respond to this." He attempted to ignore how Jamie was holding him down and the titillating pressure his ass was unintentionally applying to Jack's pelvis. "Wha…What actually just happened?"

The teenager broke eye contact and rose from their suggestive position. He cleared his throat, offering a hand to help Jack up. "Sorry. I just… I'm really paranoid about my music."

"…Why?" A simple question. Jack didn't sound insensitive or repulsed. Jamie saw this as a nice change. Most people didn't understand his passion for music. Then again, Jack wasn't most people.

"…I just… I love it so much, but, ah…" He didn't want this explanation to sound as stupid as it was going to. "You'd… totally make fun of me for the kind of stuff I listen to…"

"What?" Jack asked. "No, I—Jamie do you really think I'm that shallow?"

"Ah, no, just…" He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't think you, or really anyone, can understand why I love my music and stuff so much."

"Well maybe if you let me listen to it—"

"No," he was quick to reject. Clearing his throat again, he ducked his head to hide his embarrassment. "I mean, no, sorry. They're—my favorite bands and stuff—really important to me, like they're more than just idols… Like… If you didn't like their music, then I'd… I dunno… It's actually really complicated and stupid. … just… Never mind. It's stupid." He repeated and shook his head. Jamie turned and put his iPod back on the bedside table. "Sorry I jumped you."

There was a beat, Jack assessed the situation and analyzed Jamie's tone. Who was he to argue someone's passion? They'd talk about this later. No need to upset Jamie further right before school. So Jack simply moved over to Jamie, wrapping his arms around him from the back and kissing his cheek compassionately.

"Alright," His voice was soft and he took comfort in the small smile returning to Jamie's lips. "You don't have to show me yet. But I promise not to insult you or your music when you decide to. Because if you love it, it must be perfect."

"Thanks, Jack…" Jamie found his stomach doing small flips. With Jack, he was used to the sensation. As of late, the feelings of his heart fluttering and stomach twisting were rapidly increasing. Was this what falling in love felt like?

Jack let go, to Jamie's disappointment. "Okay." He stepped back. "You almost ready for school, then?"

The teenager rolled his eyes. "Yeah, almost." He grabbed some fresh clothing from his dresser. Jack had his back turned again to offer some privacy as Jamie undressed. He grabbed his staff from its place against the wall and began idling picking at the ancient bark covering it. He heard the shuffling of cloth as Jamie removed his sweatpants and replaced them with jeans.

"That was nice of your mom to offer to let you stay home, though…" Jack brought up a previous subject.

"Oh, yeah…" Jamie recalled as he removed his shirt. "She was just… worried about me, I guess. But I don't know why she isn't used to it by now…"

"Yeah? Do you often run away from home?" Jack meant it as a joke, but when silence was all he received, he turned. Jamie stood with his bare back to the spirit, rubbing fabric between his fingers. "Wait… _do you_?"

Jamie didn't answer at first. He tugged on a maroon hoodie and occupied his hands.

"Jamie…" There seemed to be a different question he should be asking. "Why was your mother so worried?"

The teenager's mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to piece together a response that wouldn't upset Jack. "I used to…" The words were thick in his throat. "I used to wander around the town for hours, sometimes even overnight. I don't know why… I guess I just… liked the time alone…"

Jack had his full attention. As Jamie ran another hand through his long hair and took a seat next to Jack on the bed, the Guardian was completely alert.

"Then… then I started running away for longer periods of time. Whenever I had an intense homework assignment or presentation due the next day… I guess it was like the ultimate procrastination method." He offered a light laugh at this, but Jack felt this conversation going in a dark direction.

Jamie exhaled, laying out his words so they might be at least a little comprehensible. "But I realized that half-heartedly running away wasn't enough to really… escape? I guess… So… so I started hurting myself… because the physical pain was easier to handle than the emotional shit I was going through…" Jack's hand had found Jamie's and his thumb lightly stroked it. "One time, I, uh… hah… I did the stupidest thing… It was winter and it was snowing… And that's when I'm at my worst, y'know. So I… After another one of my fits I… I grabbed my iPod and stormed out of the house… It was late. After two in the morning, I think… I dunno what I was doing… I think I was... trying to find you, or something stupid like that… I got to the pond, 'cause that's as far as my legs would let me go. Eventually they just gave in and I fell into the snow. I didn't even bother trying to get up. It was at least twenty below… But I couldn't feel the cold… All I could feel was anger… like, red hot anger that overpowered the freezing air and started searing my brain… I was so angry at… I dunno just… everything? You, the Guardians, school, my future…"

Jamie felt his throat start to seal up and fought stubborn tears to finish his story. "It was all so overwhelming and I was angry at my helplessness, above all else. Because I couldn't bring you back, I couldn't find you. I couldn't stop time or change the people who treated me badly. I couldn't help my mother when _I_ was the source of her grief…" He paused; the next part of the story was suddenly very vivid and dangerously close in Jamie's mind. "But then I realized…there _was_ something I could do…"

He swallowed a lump in his throat, refusing to look up at Jack's apprehensive expression. He felt Jack's cold breath so close to him, reminding him of the frigid air from that night. "I considered walking onto the ice and smashing through it… Surely that would be the quickest way… But even though my brain was boiling and anger fueled my senses like coal in a fire, my body and limbs were succumbing to the cold. My legs wouldn't move and my sweat was freezing to my skin, burning in a very different way. So I kept still… laying in the snow, listening as music lulled me into a calmer state. I felt my muscles relaxing. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind… I knew it would be over soon… I'd never feel anger again. In fact, I'd never feel _anything_. I wouldn't feel remorse or regret or sadness or helplessness or confusion or humiliation or envy or guilt or fear ever again. The snow built up, covering my body and freezing away my anger. I felt a snowflake land on my nose… I was instantly reminded of you… Of that one night years ago when I first saw you and you showed me how magical the world could be. I remembered you jumping around my room, making it snow and acting so happy… I missed you. I wanted you to take me away instead of your unforgiving snow. I can remember my last thought very clearly: My only regret was I'd never be able to see you again… And that's when I blacked out. "

* * *

**whoops this took way too incredibly long. i apologize i have been so distracted but mostly just lazy i blame homestuck.**

**i promised myself i wouldn't let homestuck consume my soul but it's doing it. its fuckin doing it. **

**im sorry. maybe chapter 13 won't take a whole two and a half weeks.**

**__****unlucky chapter 13 aw yeah** wait what who said that.


	13. Chapter 13

There were only three things running through Jack's mind as the teenager choked through his story. One: Jamie had tried to kill himself. Two: Jack's plan to not upset him before school had failed miserably. And three: _Jamie had tried to kill himself_.

No words could describe exactly how much it hurt Jack to hear this. His breath was frozen in his throat as he remained perfectly still. He stared at Jamie, the person he cared about more than anything, and felt the familiar jaws of helplessness maiming his fragile emotions. He'd failed. He didn't protect Jamie. He could have stayed, watched over the brunette and saved him from ever going through such emotional trauma. Jack hated himself. For leaving Jamie, for obeying North and the Man in the Moon, for taking his sister ice skating and for drowning in that pond. For becoming immortal and invisible for three hundred years. For meeting Jamie in the first place… because the answer was so obvious. He met Jamie. He left Jamie. He let Jamie suffer. He had no one to blame but himself. After all, he was Jack Frost; he made a mess wherever he went.

Jamie swallowed hard and his grip on Jack's hands tightened. He felt intimidated by the spirit's undivided attention. He needed to curl into himself and away from his Guardian's intense sympathy. He didn't want to talk about this anymore, but his mouth wouldn't stop spitting out words. He was crying again and wanted to slap away the red flushing his face.

"I woke up in a hospital."_Shut up. Why are you still talking?_His thoughts were ignored by his throat as it kept bursting with almost incoherent words. "Everything was kinda hazy and I could barely feel my arms and legs. My mom was there with Sophie and told me that she'd gone looking for me a few hours after I left the house. She found me covered in snow and rushed me to the hospital. I had hypothermia and… a bunch of other medical conditions I can't really remember. She was crying a lot. After I'd recovered she took me to a therapist and they tried to 'uproot the cause of my volatile mental condition' or some shit like that. ...Of course he latched onto my 'obsession' with the Guardians. He kept giving me all these reasons why you weren't real and why I should move on." Jamie let out a bitter laugh and ran a hand over his face. "And, fuck, I almost did just to get him to stop talking. He didn't even consider the fact that maybe it was my schoolwork driving me insane. Maybe it was the pressure of my future responsibilities that made me such a fuckingemo. Maybe it was the idiots at school taunting me day after day that made me so fucking_ angry!"_His voice had risen and Jack had moved a compassionate hand to the side of Jamie's face. The Guardian's eyebrows were knit in concern. He gently stroked Jamie's cheek with his thumb while the teenager caught his breath. Jack felt terrible for bringing this up. The subject was obviously not easy to talk about, but he needed to hear it. Jamie felt this important part of his life needed to be told to someone who cared. Jack definitely did. Jamie wouldn't let the Guardian see this side of him if he _didn't._

Jamie swallowed down his aggressive tears and attempted to calm himself. "...Maybe it's not my fault at all for believing in the only wonderful thing I've ever had in my life..." Jamie felt the force spouting words from his mouth dwindling to a stop. He was left breathless and hung his head. "_It's not my fucking fault..."_One last whisper and lingering silence filled the air as Jack took his cue to wrap his arms tightly around Jamie.

"You're right; it's not your fault." The winter spirit murmured. "Nobody can blame you for what happened. You're perfect, Jamie. Perfect, okay?" Jack repeated, cold tears trailing down his cheek.

"I'm not, though." The teenager choked through his sobs. Jack's embrace had once again overwhelmed Jamie with immense affection.

"Oh, shut up." Jack kissed him. "Of course you are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You were just scared. And confused… And if there's anyone to blame for that, it's me." He pressed their foreheads together and moved his hand to the back of Jamie's head. "I never should have left you."

Jamie shook his head. He averted his eyes as their noses touched. "No, you were just following orders. It's really not your fault. I just got too attached—"

"Okay, are we really going to spend hours debating whose fault this whole mess is?" The winter spirit let out a light laugh that made Jamie smile. "…If you really want to blame anyone, it should be the Man in the Moon."

Jamie nodded after a moment. "That guy's an asshole."

"You're telling me." Jack chuckled. "Leaving me on my own for years without a single word? What kind of jerk _does _that?"

Jamie laughed at this. It was soft and muddle by tears, but a laugh, nevertheless. It took another kiss for Jamie to become completely unaware of the world again. He didn't register the clock on his bedside table ticking away minutes before he'd be late for school. He didn't hear the pattering of feet approaching his door until it was too late.

Sophie's small figure revealed itself as she swung the door open. "Jaaamie, Mom said you hadda—"

Jamie jumped away from Jack so fast that their teeth accidentally collided upon separation, leaving both of them to cover their mouths in pain. Jack moaned through his hand and Jamie pressed his tongue against his front teeth. He was pretty sure his gums had started to bleed.

"Shit," He mumbled before turning to his little sister. "What _is it_ Sophie?" He snapped, but she wasn't paying attention anymore. Jamie followed her gaze and felt a jolt when he realized she was staring directly at Jack. "…So you can still see him." He observed, only to be ignored again.

"You're Jack Frost!" was the first thing she said, gazing at the winter spirit in awe. Her green winter parka was long enough to cover her hands as she pointed. She looked a bit small for her age; as Jack stood he had at least two feet on her. "I remember you! Well, kinda. I was _really_ little when I saw you first."

The winter spirit let out at laugh. "I remember you too, Sophie." He crouched, becoming eye level with her and smiling sweetly. "It's nice seeing you again."

"You're hot." She commented bluntly. Jack's smile fell from his face, unable to think of a response.

Jamie snorted at how easily Sophie was able to catch him off guard. He cleared his throat before correcting her with a dead-serious face. "Actually, Soph… he's cold."

Jack shook his head, smile unable to stay away. "Wow. Lamest joke ever." He began clapping slowly. "Right there. Take a bow, my friend, take a bow."

Jamie smirked and Sophie giggled. She swung her hands behind her back and began rocking on the balls of her feet.

"What're you doing here?" She tilted her head in curiosity. Her blonde hair fell in front of her eyes. It wasn't as messy as it was when she was younger, but still a bit unkempt.

"Well," His eyes darted to Jamie and back. "I've missed you and your brother so much I thought I'd stay for a little while." Good answer. And not entirely untrue.

"Really?!" Her face lit up. "You're gonna stay with us?!"

"Well, yeah. For a little while," Jack cast a glance at Jamie, a grin forming on his face as he watched their interaction. Jack wondered if the teenager realized the smile was there at all. "You two are my favorite people in the world, after all."

Her smile grew as she giggled again.

"What were you gonna tell me, Soph?" Jamie interrupted, remembering why she barged into his room in the first place.

"Oh yeah." She finally turned her attention to her brother. "Mom said you hadda walk me to school."

"She said I _had_ to?"

"Well, she said if you _wanted_ to… but _I _say you hav'ta." She crossed her arms.

Jamie let out and exaggerated sigh, glancing at the clock and then up at Jack. He shrugged his shoulders forward in response as if to say "You heard the lady." Jamie rose from the bed with resolve, grabbing his backpack and gesturing dramatically to the door.

"Alright, your highness," He bowed, his almost-too-long brunette bangs falling in front of his eyes. "Lead the way."

Sophie smirked at his obedience and Jack once again saw the resemblance between the siblings in an instant. The winter spirit smiled, grabbing his staff from its place on the wall and sauntering closer to Jamie as Sophie strode out the room.

Jamie stood up straight again, noticing how close Jack was. "After you, princess," The teenager quipped sarcastically, the words sounding slightly deep and growled. Jamie raised an eyebrow at Jack, grinning with the corner of his mouth. The suggestive subtlety of his expression sent a grayish blush to the winter spirit's face; _now __that__ was hot._

Jack shook off the arousal Jamie's fake-seduction technique had inevitably caused him and laughed at the joke. "I'll give you 'princess', Jamie Bennett." Jack copied his expression, giving the teenager a swift smack on the ass before proceeding out the door.

The walk to school wasn't as painful as Jamie expected it to be. The elementary school was a few blocks away and the high school was three blocks further. He was used to Sophie demanding an escort, but that didn't keep him from getting annoyed with her when she couldn't shut her mouth. But this time was more bearable. Jack was there and Sophie finally had an audience cooperative enough to listen to her nonstop blabbering.

"Where's that giant bunny guy? Did he not wanna come with you?" She was walking backwards in front of them so she could face Jack, who was strolling beside Jamie. He'd hold the teenager's hand whenever Sophie had her back turned.

"Ah, no, he's really busy." Jack explained patiently. "Easter's only a few months away, after all."

"Oh." Sophie's expression fell. "That sucks."

"But he misses you, Sophie." Jack brought her smile back. "I honestly have never seen him get as attached to a kid as he has with you."

Sophie turned back around, proud look on her face. "Well, tell him to come with you next time."

"I will," The spirit had locked fingers with Jamie again.

Sophie was quiet for most of the walk, which Jamie took to be a miracle. They'd almost made it to the elementary school when she spoke up again.

"So you guys are like, boyfriends, right?"

This stopped them both dead in their tracks. Jamie smacked their hands apart as Sophie turned around, clever grin on her face.

"Um. We're…" Jack attempted to form a response.

"What makes you say that?" Jamie asked his little sister accusingly.

"Saw you guys makin' out." She giggled, turning her back on them again and skipping slightly. "You're so weird."

"Yeah, well," Jamie kicked her backpack lightly, causing her to giggle. "You're weirder." They'd finally arrived in front of the school. "We're not boyfriends. Now get your butt over there." He nodded his head at the group of girls calling for Sophie.

She laughed. "'Kay. 'Bye Jamie, 'bye Jack!" Her blond hair flew back as she broke out into a run to meet up with her friends. Jamie shook his head but had a smile on his face as they continued to walk.

"So…" Jack spoke up after a few steps. "We're not boyfriends?"

Jamie faltered. "…No, I didn't mean… Well… I guess we are."

"You guess?" Jack looked over at him. Jamie had a serious expression on his face that made the winter spirit worry again. "What's wrong?"

The teenager didn't feel like explaining why he disliked hearing it… _"Boyfriends"_… The term felt too normal. It didn't seem like an adequate description of their relationship. But that was exactly what they were. They were 'dating' and were 'boyfriends' even though they A.) had never been on a date together. B.) had never had sex together. And C.) had a three hundred year age difference between the two of them. Not exactly what the rest of the world would classify as a normal relationship. "Nothing. It's just… my brain's being dumb again, I dunno…"

Jack began hovering in the air in front of him to get his attention. "No really, tell me." He was genuinely curious at this point.

"I don't know," Jamie avoided eye contact. "It just feels weird… calling you that."

"Weird." Jack repeated, an eyebrow rose in question.

"Ugh! I dunno, yes!" Jamie let out an exasperated breath. "Weird."

"Good weird or bad weird?"

"Neither! Just… _weird_." He couldn't really come up with the right words. "It's like… we're a _thing;_ we're together... but… fuck it, okay? I don't know, it just feels weird calling you my…" Jamie didn't look up at his Guardian.

"Your boyfriend?" A smirk had appeared on the spirit's face.

"Shut up," Jamie grumbled, tugging at the inside of his pocket when he realized Jack was deliberately messing with him. "Yes, that."

"Oh, alright, then," Jack shrugged, slowing down a bit so Jamie could walk a few steps in front of him. "I don't have to be your boyfriend if you don't want to call me that."

Jamie let out an exasperate sigh. "No, I mean… you can still be my…"

Jack leaned closer when Jamie didn't finish the sentence. "_Boyfriend_?"

"Whatever! Fine!" He was getting frustrated. A simple word shouldn't bother him so much. "You're my fucking boyfriend, okay? Happy?"

Jack sighed when teasing Jamie had lost its allure. He smiled anyway, kissing the teenager's cheek in attempts to calm him down. "Yes."

Jamie let out an aggravated sigh after a beat and tightened the hood of his sweater to cover his blushing face. "I am so fucking gay." He grumbled.

"That means happy, right?" The Guardian joked, grasping Jamie's hand delicately.

"I'm gonna punch you." His threat lost its power as he broke it with laughter. They were nearing the school and Jamie felt his stomach drop at the thought of another pointless day in that prison. They approached the entrance. The courtyard was empty and Jamie realized he was actually quite late. He stared at the door, sighing with a mix of regret and defeat.

Jack stood with him and gave his hand a small squeeze. "Ready?"

Jamie inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as if preparing himself. On his exhale he looked at Jack. He stared for a second before reaching over and giving Jack's ass a slap in return, earning a "Hey!" and attempts at revenge.

"Yup. Ready. Let's go." Jamie stepped quickly to avoid Jack's reach. The two of them slipped into the lobby, the first challenge on their journey to the weekend.

* * *

_**screeeeeeeeeeeeeches.**_

**sorry this chapter is shit.**

**it will get better i promise i just have to push past the boring parts im sorry im so terrible**

**(btw one of you messaged me on tumblr and it ate it so message me again please! i forgot your url D:)**


	14. Chapter 14

Jamie felt the unusual sense of ease as he meandered down the crowded halls of his school on the way to lunch. Having spent already half of the academic day in Jack's company, Jamie was finally starting to _enjoy_ school. Admitting it made him gag a bit, but it was true. As much as he looked forward to Jack distracting him from any actual work, he had to lay down some ground rules before his first class of the morning.

"Okay, no talking to me while I'm in class." Jamie warned his Guardian, pressing down the empty hallways in a rush. Although it seemed pointless considering he'd already missed the first five minutes of class. "People are gonna think I'm even weirder if I start talking to myself so just… play it cool. We're gonna Light and Ryuk this motherfucker."

"Alright." Jack glanced over at the teenager, gliding across the floor to keep up with Jamie's run. "Except, I'm not a death god and you're not a homicidal schoolboy with a God complex…" They rounded a corner and Jamie nearly slipped on the frictionless tiled floors. "…at least, I don't _think_ you are…"

Jamie chuckled and looked at the winter spirit with appreciation. "Y'know, it's amazing how many of my pop culture references you understand."

"I've seen my fair share of television." Jack admitted. "I've had three hundred years to witness humanity unfold… Obviously the only way to kill time is to watch endless hours of TV through people's windows."

"Obviously." Jamie breathed through his laughter as his pace slowed. "Did you hang around Japan and watch anime?" He smirked up at the Guardian.

"Yeah, actually." Jack reminisced. "Things like that were pretty popular a few decades ago. I actually liked most of the shows, too."

Jamie's face fell when a thought occurred to him. "Oh my god did you have a weeaboo phase?!"

Jack chuckled. "I didn't say that."

"You totally had a weeaboo phase, oh my fucking god." Jamie failed at holding back his laughter. The idea was highly unlikely, but he couldn't help himself from imagining Jack becoming overly obsessed with Japanese pop culture; exclusively listening to JPop and inserting "kya~" and "desu~" after every sentence. "Did you wear cat ears and girly school uniforms?"

"Didn't say that either." The Guardian was still smiling despite himself. "Bet you'd like it, though."

"There may be a ninety percent possibility that it's the hottest thing I have ever pictured you wearing, yes." Jamie shrugged. "Next to… y'know… you not wearing anything at all…"

"Ah, _man_…" Jack swung his staff up on his shoulder, smirk remaining as he wet his lips. "You used to be so _innocent_."

The teenager had finally slowed to a stop in front of a classroom door. He grinned over at the winter spirit, who had landed on his feet beside him. "But you like me better this way." Jamie leaned against the door. Jack placed his hand on the wall, elegantly cornering him. Their eyes moved from contact to lips as the space between the two boys narrowed.

"Oh, definitely." Jack followed Jamie's movements and leaned in, catching the teenager's lips for a fleeting moment.

"Jack," Jamie pulled away regrettably, reminded of where they were. "I've got to get to class."

"We'll finish this later, then?" The winter spirit didn't shift his position, keeping Jamie close.

"Oh, _definitely_." He repeated Jack's words, giving him one last kiss before ducking under his arm to free himself and swinging the classroom door open.

Aside from the reprimanding he received from his teacher for being incredibly late, the rest of the day went pretty well. Jack occupied half the time listening to Jamie's teachers with a blank expression, progressively growing more bored with each passing question. The other half he spent messing with Jamie. While the teenager couldn't do anything to react, Jack had fun seeing how far he could go before Jamie swatted his hand away.

He would twirl bits of Jamie's hair, mimicking the action he enjoyed doing when they would lie in bed together. He traced the outline of Jamie's arm through his shirt, his cold fingers tauntingly trailing up to his shoulder. They'd come to a stop at the arc of Jamie's neck, then slowly drag down his spine and cause a stimulated shiver to overcome the teenager.

This was driving Jamie crazy. He could tell Jack was doing this to him on purpose. All he wanted to do was grab Jack's mischievous hands and pull him into a tight embrace, kissing him hard and let him run his fingers over every inch of his body as he pinned him against the table and let his legs wrap around his torso—

But he shook those thoughts from his head because _Wow, it is __so__ not cool to get a boner in the middle of class._

His other classes progressed similarly—with less touching as Jack became bored with Jamie's poker face—and before he knew it, it was time for lunch. The rushing crowds and swarms of students squishing past their peers had been a constant target of Jamie's grievance for years, but today it was simply amusing.

The one variable? Jack Frost.

The winter spirit made a habit of floating aimlessly above the crowds of people as he followed Jamie through the halls. He'd knock a few passersby's snapbacks off their heads with the flick of his staff, leaving them furiously searching for the culprit. He'd swing his staff close to the ground, causing a few people to stumble and fight to remain balanced.

Jamie also enjoyed it when he would walk next to him, holding hands and linking their fingers together—subtle enough to go unnoticed by anyone that might think it strange to see Jamie grasping thin air. Not only was the position comforting, it also became extremely entertaining when someone would accidentally walk through Jack.

"You're like a ghost." Jamie chuckled as a freshman passed through the winter spirit and shuddered profusely at the gust of cold air the sensation caused.

"Yeah, well…" Jack appeared to be cringing.

"Does it hurt when they do that?" The teenager inquired, noticing his discomfort.

Jack had let go of Jamie's hand and returned to floating above the approaching crowd. "Ah, no… not really…" He subconsciously pressed his hands against his torso, as if they would pass through it as well. "It just… tingles a little. Plus, it's kinda unnerving. It used to happen all the time before I became a Guardian…"

"Bad flashbacks?" Jamie attempted to sympathize.

"That's… a bit of an understatement." He shook the disgruntled feeling from his memory. Jamie turned a corner and bumped his shoulder accidentally against a girl chatting loudly on her phone.

"Sorry," He offered, but she walked on, casting Jamie an abhorred glance over her shoulder before returning to her conversation. He was grateful for the jet of ice that suddenly encased her phone.

"Nice shot." He grinned up at his Guardian, who bowed in midair.

A few steps of silence between them as more obnoxiously loud students travelled in small clusters of three or four, blocking most of the hall so Jamie had to pin himself against the wall to avoid collision. He gagged slightly at the overwhelming, unbalanced mix of cologne and perfume as the lacrosse team and their boyfriends passed by.

Once fresh air had returned and the last few people remaining in the halls had found their respective classes, Jamie was free to speak to Jack without seeming insane to onlookers.

"I wonder what it feels like," Jamie mused aloud, catching Jack attention. "Passing through you, I mean. Is it just cold, or…?"

The winter spirit shrugged, avoiding eye contact as he returned to walk by Jamie's side now that the halls were clear. "Well, it's obviously unpleasant for _me_, I don't know about other people…" He cleared his throat. "Though, I thought you might remember."

Jamie looked at him with surprise. "I've done it before?"

"Yeah, ah… Back when you were a kid, before you believed in me." Jack had begun swinging his staff nonchalantly across the tiled floor.

Jamie was having difficulty remembering a time when he didn't expect Jack to be an ever-present entity in his life. Of course he could recall the night he started believing; that memory had never left his head for almost eight years. But he couldn't think of how he felt before that, let alone an instant when he might have walked completely through the most important person in his life.

"I… can't remember…" He finally admitted.

"That's alright. It only happened once, no big deal." But Jamie could see that wasn't true by the way Jack's eyebrows knit, holding back a pained expression.

"…Why don't you try and remind me." Jamie suggested in a casually soft tone.

"Well," Jack looked up, glancing at Jamie before returning to stare straight ahead. "It was… right after that sofa knocked your tooth out." Both of them smiled at that. "I… uh, got a bit upset that the Tooth Fairy seemed to have stolen my thunder… but if _I _gave you guys cash instead of blizzards you'd like me better than—"

"Jack." Jamie laughed a bit but reminded him to get back to the point.

"Right, sorry." He focused. "I followed you and your friends and stupidly made the decision to stand right in front of you and… you just walked right through me. It actually… upset me more than it should have. I'd had three hundred years to remember not to let anyone do that anymore… so I guess that was just a dumb mistake on my part…"

Jamie couldn't think of a way to respond to that, but a realization was dawning on him. "Wait, while we were walking down the street?"

"Yeah," Jack looked back at him, mild shock on his face.

"And Clyde was bragging about how much money he'd gotten that one time?"

"Yes." They had both stopped walking, Jamie facing Jack with a pondering expression.

"I remember that!" Jamie exclaimed and put a hand up to his cheek, as if feeling the distant sensation of the moment. "Oh, god I remember!" He repeated. "It was the weirdest thing. There was just this random, short, freezing gust of air and… It felt like… there was a presence close to me, so I glanced around a bit, but there was no one there… and… oh my god, that was you!"

Jack nodded, unsure whether to be pleased or upset.

"That… that's amazing…" Jamie pressed a hand to Jack's chest, only now realizing how much he valued its solidity. "I'm glad I can't do that anymore." He muttered.

Jack gave a small smile and took hold of Jamie's hand, squeezing it softly and then moving it up to his own cheek. "Me too."

Jamie took the hint, leaning in close and pressing his lips against Jack's. He liked the way it felt. Solid. Real. Jack wasn't a myth or a fairytale or enigma or ghost. Jamie needed that confirmation as much as Jack did.

They proceeded until they heard the sound of approaching crowds.

"Wanna continue this… somewhere private?" Jamie bit his lip and tugged on the strings of Jack's hoodie.

"Definitely." The Guardian replied with a grin, one hand still positioned on Jamie's hips.

"C'mon." He grasped Jack's wrist, keeping the winter spirit's body close as he slipped down the halls, past the cafeteria and down to the locker rooms. Jamie wasted no time, pressing Jack roughly against the wall and moving his mouth from the spirit's lips to his neck. Jack's hands slid under the teenager's shirt and pulled his body tightly against his chest. He let out a hum of approval when he felt Jamie's teeth nip at a spot near his shoulder.

The shuffle of feet and echoes of conversation stopped them. Jamie glanced around, discontinuing their actions being on the top of a list of things he did not want to do.

"Empty stall?" Jack nodded in the direction of one of the showers.

"You read my mind." Jamie muttered, pulling Jack quickly and slamming the door shut just in time.

The time they spent didn't go _exactly_ how either of them wanted it to. An unspoken promise begrudgingly formed between the two: No sex. Not now. Not _here_.

This proved to be a bigger problem the longer they progressed. Even though they thought they'd be able to control themselves, they _were _only teenagers, even if Jack was about three hundred years past his prime.

They had to stop every few minutes when either of them got too… "excited". The first couple of times they'd apologize, letting the awkward seconds inch by while they attempted to calm themselves. But after the fourth time feeling the growing pressure in Jack's pants, Jamie was getting frustrated. The sensation of Jack moaning into his mouth wasn't helping his own groin situation. He hated how much he loved each lick and bite Jack gave to his skin. He wished they were someplace else, someplace more intimate than the shower stall in the odorous boy's locker room. He needed a surface to be pressed against, to press Jack against, that didn't creak and threaten to topple with every thrust. He wanted Jack so badly, but maybe that was just his crazy teenage hormones talking…

Jack knew things were moving too fast. He took most of the blame, seeing as he really shouldn't be acting as ravenous as he was. They were only kissing, (And biting. And licking… And groping…) why did he have to act like a starving wolf given a fresh carcass?

His attitude was scaring him. Even if Jamie definitely appeared to be enjoying it, Jack's behavior only reminded him of the girl he'd messed around with back when he was alive. There was that obvious tint of lust driving his actions, but… right now seemed different. It was Jamie he was doing all those things to. It was Jamie who smiled into his kiss and moaned against his bite. It was Jamie he wanted to have his way with on the tiled floors, and… it was Jamie he cared about.

He felt more than lust as his tongue traced the outline of the teenager's teeth. He felt compassion as his fingers would tangle in Jamie's long hair. Gratitude when Jamie would cup the side of his face and kiss him deeper… Things were getting complicated. His emotions were becoming so muddled and excited that he could find one word to label the confusing mess…_But do I dare say it?_

He didn't. He couldn't! Not after letting so many people into his life only to see them taken away. He was always overcome with the reminder of Jamie's future, his fears and the facts often mixing into a dire combination. The back of his mind was nagging at him, saying things would be just like before; he'd lose the person he cared about. He knew Jamie's birthday was only drawing closer with every breath they shared together, but he couldn't help himself. He felt each hour inch by no matter how distracted he was. Like a physical gong inside his chest kept echoing the reminder, vibrating through his brain no matter what he did: _You've got limited time. Jamie could be taken away from you any day now. _Starting something with Jamie could only end in heartbreak. He knew. He had always known. Yet every conversation they had together and every action they performed made it impossible to ignore his feelings. He couldn't help it. He _had_ to say it…

He was falling in love with Jamie Bennett.

* * *

**wow this chapter started out so innocent.**

**i actually wasn't gonna reveal that little bit about Jack's feelings for a while, but... things _are_ moving rather fast. these boys are no longer under my control i swear to god jfc. also all that talk of anime and weeaboos got me listening to LeetStreet Boys again please shoot me. **

**~~~_she's so kawaii and i tryyy so hard to make her squee~~~~_ catchy as fuck make it stop.**

**anyway hi. my vacation was fun, although i missed writing this a lot. if you're reading this right now, i've deleted my note to you guys i posted two weeks ago, but it shouldn't matter at this point. (but that scene up there^ wasn't the nsfw scene i was talking about and doesn't really earn a M rating just _yet_... eheeh.)**

**jeeezus fuck this chapter is all over the place. ... do i emotion? do i funny? do i smut? dO I POP CULTURE REFERENCE? we just don't know. have a little bit of everything**

**BY THE WAY GUYS YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT BONBONPICH'S FANART FOR THIS IT'S BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT UGH YOU GOTTA SEE IT *LINK ON MY PROFILE BECAUSE FFN'S A BITCH AND WON'T LET ME POST LINKS.*****  
**

**okay there are like 50 things/characters i need to bring back into this fanfic to make everything work out because they were here for like a chapter and then i dropped them. (intentionally, though. they weren't relevant at certain points so they didn't need to be there for more than a chapter. but they will be. i promise.) (see: pippa, north, bunny, tooth, etc.) (o and sandy and pitch are gonna important soon okay just wait.)**

**okay i keep saying this is gonna get better next chapter, but i really mean it this time! since i've had my fun with a little mini High School AU, i need to bring the story line back to focus on the crucial plot and developments... wow who knew i'd use that shitty english class stuff in real life. writing and stuff. pshhh who needs it.**

**woah there i just wrote an essay for an author's note. i suck. okay i kinda like this chapter, but the best is yet to come. stay tuned.**

_**kya~**_


	15. Chapter 15

Pippa was sitting in the lunchroom for half an hour, barely listening to the conversations going on around her. She was bent over her calculus textbook, scribing questions sloppily into her notebook. She'd only acknowledge the people around her if she was stuck on a problem and required her friends' help. Her auburn head had popped up for the fourth time before someone spoke up.

"Oh, would you give it a rest," Claude shook his head, reaching over and shutting Pippa's book. Her protest was interrupted mid-breath when he continued talking. "Every time I see you, you're working. Why can't you just—" He pushed her untouched tray of food closer to her. "_relax_, for five minutes, please."

Pippa sighed, slouching over again and snapping her notebook closed. "I know, I know…" She pressed at a kink in her neck. "But I didn't get around to finishing my homework last night. Or starting it… actually I deliberately avoided it." She ran a hand through her short hair and let out an exasperated groan. "Why do I do this to myself?!"

"I don't know why you're even worrying about homework anymore." Claude commented. "We're seniors. We did all the important work and tests last year. So what if one math assignment's a day late. You're still going to college."

She stabbed some of the slimy chicken on her plate with a grimace.

"You look exhausted." Monty said, arriving at the table with his own lunch tray and sitting down next to her. "Rough night?"

"I couldn't sleep."

He gave her a sympathetic look. "Want me to get you some coffee?"

"That," She rubbed her sunken eyes "Would actually be amazing, thanks."

"Caramel latte, extra chocolate sauce?"

"You know me so well." He returned her smile and left the lunchroom, heading off to the Starbucks next door.

Claude watched Monty turn the corner and then let out a huff. He crossed his arms, leaning them on the table. "You're killin' him, girl."

"What did I do?" She turned to him. "He offered."

"You know what I mean." His brown eyes bore into her. "He's had a huge crush on you forever."

She knew.

"How can you not wanna tap that?" Alyssa, the brunette to her left finally spoke up. She had her green eyes focused on her phone. She'd been texting an estimated six guys for the past thirty minutes. "Monty got _hot._"

He did.

"And he's a total gentleman." Claude reasoned. "I can't believe you have him this far in the friendzone."

"Oh, God," Pippa rolled her eyes "I can't believe you'd use a term as misogynistic as 'friendzoning'. What is this, 2013?"

Claude held up his hands in defense. "Okay, but that is essentially what you're doing."

"I am not; stop being an idiot. And anyway, if I did have him in the 'friendzone', that would imply that I had no desire to be with him at all."

"Wait, you _do_ want to be with him?" His face showed obvious confusion.

"Well, yeah…" She had to admit it. Ever since last summer, when Monty spent the vacation down in Brazil, got tan, fit, tall, lost the gaudy red glasses and bribed the Gods of Puberty with sacrificial lamb and fine wine, Pippa had started to see him in a different light. "He's attractive and nice to me and we have a lot in common. I've known him since forever and…"

"So why don't you go out with him?" Claude exclaimed, exasperated.

"Because she's too in love with Jamie." Alyssa answered, still not looking up from her phone.

"Wow thanks for keeping _that_ a secret." Pippa grumbled sarcastically. "And I'm not in _love_ with him. You're such a drama queen."

Claude knit his dark eyebrows. "Jamie Bennett?" The way he says the name sends and uncomfortable feeling to the pit of Pippa's stomach. "You're still not over that guy?"

"Oh, hell no." Alyssa finally looked up from her phone, leaning into her conversation with Claude like Pippa wasn't even there. "She was bugging me all night, texting me that she was 'worried about him.' I told her to get over it; if he's off'd himself, there's nothing she can do about it. It wouldn't even be her fault."

"Woah, you think he'd actually do something like that?"

"Dude, where have you been? Didn't you hear about his suicide attempt last year? That kid has gone _crazy_. Well… crazi_er_. Remember when he used to believe in Santa Claus. In, like, _freshman year?_ He's got some childhood trauma or something going on because that's fucked up." She took a sip of her soda. "I can't believe you're still into him." Alyssa directed her attention back to Pippa, who had been slowly attempting to shrink away from the conversation.

"Can you guys just…" She let out a frustrated groan, unable to finish her sentence. Luckily, she didn't have to. Monty returned, handing her coffee with an elegant bow.

"Your latte, Highness." He gave her a million dollar smile. Her guilt only grew when Claude and Alyssa sent her matching accusing looks.

"Thanks, Monty." She took a sip, grabbing for her wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

"No way." He shook his head, pressing her hand back down into her bag. "It's on me today, princess."

_Oh God stop calling me stuff like that!_ Her mind screamed. It's not that she didn't enjoy it; she felt her cheeks flushing. But the more he treated her like a queen, the guiltier she felt. Why did she have to be so hung up on Jamie?!

"_I know someone else who'd like to be on you."_ Pippa heard Claude whisper and discreetly kicked him in the shin under the table.

"Thanks so much." Was all she said, avoiding her other friends' disappointed looks.

"What were you guys talking about?" He addressed the other two at the table, an innocent look on his flawless face.

"Nothing." Alyssa shrugged, the small birds tattoo on her shoulder moving with her muscles. She turned her attention back to her phone. "Just Jamie Bennett."

"Oh yeah," His interest piqued "How _is_ that guy? I haven't talked to him in ages. Pippa, you're still in touch with him, right?"

She could tell the conversations about to go back to what it was, so she didn't answer. Instead, Pippa put on her purple sweater, shoved her books back into her bag, swung her bag over her shoulder, and stood. "Ah, y'know, sorry to eat and run, but I just remembered that I forgot a file in the library. I'll catch you guys later." And just like that, she was gone.

_I swear to god. Sometimes I want to fucking stab those guys._ How dare they talk about Jamie like that? If she wasn't such close friends with them, she would have told them off for engaging in such sickening conversations. Claude used to be friends with Jamie, too. Why didn't he defend him when Alyssa was making fun of him?

"Fucking assholes." She muttered, the coffee in her hand losing its appeal. She tossed the Styrofoam cup into the nearest trash bin and thought about what to do next.

She considered actually going to the library, so maybe she could distract herself again with homework. She didn't even care that the bell had just rung. She just needed someplace to calm down, and her physics classroom wasn't an option. So she strode down the halls, occasionally bumping shoulders with a few people before turning toward an empty hallway. There weren't any gym classes immediately after lunch, so she could walk in peace. She was about to turn a corner when something stopped her dead in her tracks. A laugh. And not just any laugh. One that she hadn't heard in about seven years.

"Alright, okay, sorry. I didn't think to watch where I was stepping." The voice was about a hundred feet away around the corner.

That was definitely Jamie's laugh, though hearing it was an incredibly alien sensation. And that was Jamie's voice, but not the angry, sarcastic tone Pippa had grown accustomed to. He sounded amused; definitely not an emotion she was used to him wearing. And those were Jamie's footsteps—heading right for her!

She didn't move. She stopped, listened, waited for him to be the first one to make a move.

"It's your fault for never wearing shoes." He seemed to be half-heartedly arguing with someone. Who, exactly, Pippa didn't know. He might have been talking on the phone, because there was silence in between his statements where someone should have replied.

"Yeah, well, maybe next time you've got your tongue down my throat, you might wanna be a little more conscious of where you put your feet."

Wait… what was that?

All of her thoughts stopped immediately when Jamie rounded the corner and saw her, freezing as well. She'd only seen his smile for an instant before it melted away, revealing slight shock and… fear?

"Pippa," He said her name like he was surprised to see her.

She doesn't know if she should be angry with him. He's really done nothing wrong… except, y'know… disappear without a single word for the fifth time in the past two years. Although, she _had_ been a bitch to him the last time they spoke and—

All those thoughts that had been running through her head for three days crashed down on her at once. She couldn't focus on anything for a while as she stood there, staring at him. She just took in his appearance.

He looked less tired than usual. His posture was straighter and he looked like he had spent extra time combing his hair this morning. He looked… healthier.

A sense of relief washed over Pippa as she thought that maybe Jamie's therapist had finally gotten through to him. _That's_ why he was away for so long. His mother probably put him in special therapy, or whatever, for a few days and they had managed to fix him!

But then Pippa's brain started working again. She connected the dots. His one-sided conversation. He wasn't holding a phone. He was alone. And he was talking to himself. Not exactly a symptom of a recovered therapy patient.

She felt extremely disappointed as quick as she had felt relief. And just as fast, she realized it didn't really matter. Because all she wanted to do right now was hug him.

She quickly closed the space between them, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and pressing their chests together firmly. Jamie hesitated a bit before returning the embrace, his arms wrapping around her waist.

"I'm glad you're safe." She whispered into his ear as her chin rested on his shoulder.

He didn't answer and instead waited for her to let go. Pippa took a step back, clearing her throat.

"I'm sorry I said all those things to you the other day." She had prepared this apology and gone over it a million times in her head. "When you disappeared, I was so worried it was because of me and what I said. I shouldn't have made you feel wrong for believing in what you do and I hope that you can forgive me for being so out of line."

Jamie is taken aback by the professionalism of the apology. He stutters out his first words. "What? No, Pippa, it's alright, really. Uh, you weren't why I went away, I… wow, I can't believe you thought that. That was… really bad timing on my part…" He rubbed the nape of his neck. "You… uh, you don't need to worry about the things you said. I… really haven't given them much thought… I've been… kinda distracted…" He casts a small smirk to his right, but there's nothing there.

"Alright…" She tries to understand what's so funny, but quickly gives up. "Well, will you at least tell me where you were?"

This stops him. He fumbles with his words some more and keeps glancing to his right. There's about a twelve seconds of him going "Uh, um… Ah," before he remembers how to speak.

"I will tell you." He finally decides, sending one last look to the air on his right side. "But… I guess you could say it's a bit of a secret."

"You're really a spy, aren't you."

This makes Jamie chuckle, an action Pippa wells with pride for being the cause of it. The mood has lightened considerably.

"Can you come over to my house after school? I'll tell you then."

"Yeah," she agrees, ignoring her concerns and suspicions. She was about to say goodbye when a thought occurred to her. "Well, wherever you were, it seems to have really done the trick."

Jamie looks at her with confusion.

"You seem… happier." She clarifies and relaxes when a smile dances on his lips.

"Y'know… I think I actually might be." He smiles to his right again. "Or, at least, starting to be."

* * *

Jack was mad at him. Not for stepping on his feet back in the stall; that was stupid and he could tell Jack just wanted something to complain about. But now the Guardian was genuinely ticked off.

"What were you thinking?" He had his arms crossed as he sat on Jamie's bed. The teenager paced, avoiding Jack's stare.

"I don't know… okay, I just… wasn't." They'd ditched school. Jamie had two hours to think of a plan before Pippa got there.

"Are you gonna tell her the truth?" He hated Jack's tone. "That you ran away and got together with a mythical creature immediately after you turned her down? She's gonna love that."

"Don't put it like that."

"But that's what it boils down to, doesn't it?"

He bit his lip. "Well, yeah, but…"

"But what? You think you might be able to make yourself sound less insane? Remember how she told you off last time? How _well_ you handled that?"

Jamie kept forgetting that Jack saw his and Pippa's exchange the day after Valentine's. Still, he didn't need to keep reminding him of how embarrassing it was. "Why are you getting mad at me?!" He was glad his mother was still at work. Hearing him scream at himself would wind him up with another month of counseling.

"You're screwing up the plan, Jamie!" Jack's voice had risen as well.

"Plan? We had a plan?" He'd stopped pacing.

"Yeah! Stay here until your eighteenth birthday."

Jamie paused a moment, thinking it over before throwing his hands up exasperatedly. "How is me telling Pippa the truth fucking with the plan?"

Jack began listing. "You're gonna tell her that something dangerous may or may not happen to you in three days. You think she's going to like hearing that? She's gonna make you stay. We don't know exactly what's gonna happen, but we can't have you here when it does!"

"Oh, bullshit. It doesn't matter where I am when 'it _happens_', and you know it." He pointed accusingly at him. "You don't care if I'm _here_; you just care that I might be here with _her._"

Jack looked offended. He wasn't about to admit that Jamie was right. His expression quickly changed, showing more anger than before. "Are you saying I'm _jealous_ of her?" He was.

"Well you didn't look too happy when she threw her arms around me this afternoon!" He didn't.

He tried to turn the blame away from him. "Where does she come off thinking she has the right to do that? Last time she saw you she practically laughed in your face for still believing in us. Now she's allowed to hug you like she hasn't done anything wrong?"

"She _hasn't_ done anything wrong!" Jamie reminded him. "She was worried about me!"

"_I_ was worried about you for seven years! But you wasted no time blaming _me_ for _my_ mistakes."

"She apologized! _As soon as she saw me, _I might add." His hand gestures remained aggressive and sharp. "_You_ waited a week to do that after you finished stalking me."

Jack had stood up. He scoffed and rolled his head back. "Are we _seriously_ gonna argue about that again?!"

"You're the one who brought it up!" He opened his arms, palm-up.

"I only did because Pippa hasn't cared about you in seven years. You said it yourself; she thought you were going crazy for believing in the Guardians. She hadn't talked to you in _weeks_ and then suddenly she's compelled to confess her love to you? That's all kinds of messed up."

Jamie toned down his volume, but retained the same level of rage. "What's your fucking point?"

"What I'm saying is she's screwed with your emotions plenty of times, Jamie…" It appeared that Jack was beginning to calm down. His voice was sounding more rational, reasoning with him… "Who's to say she won't call you crazy the second my name comes out of your mouth?"

This caused Jamie to break eye contact. "You think I care if she calls me crazy again?" His voice was low. He raised his head, looking at Jack again. "I know she's been a shitty friend for a long time, but I've been _worse_." Jack didn't interrupt this time_._ "There'd be times when she'd call me and ask to hang out and I lied, saying I had homework just to stay away from her. I couldn't stand being around her because I hated how much she worried about me. She knew me so well that she could tell when my sanity was starting to get ripped away. I didn't let her help me get through this depression because I didn't _want_ her help. I've been a terrible, moody, emotional wreck of a teenager since I was fourteen. And Pippa's had to suffer through all of it just because she cared too much to give up on me."

Jamie ran a hand over his face, exhaling his anger now that Jack had sobered. "I've been lying to her for almost seven years. I need to tell her the truth at least once. I owe her that much…" He swallowed. "I don't care if she doesn't believe me, but I have to try. Maybe it'll clear my conscience, or maybe I can finally prove I was right. Either way, I need your help." He crossed his arms, determination flickering on his face. "You in?"

Jack took a second before he tilted his head down, grinning and shaking his head. How could he stay mad at a face like that?

* * *

**it's hot as dicks over here. writing during the summer sucks.**

**EDIT: okay someone rudely pointed out my issues with tenses in this chapter. i knew it was gonna be a problem after i just finished a book set in present tense, and my brain was having difficulty switching back to past. i thought i corrected them, but _apparently_ i didn't. wow sorry for being human and making mistakes.**


	16. Chapter 16

Jamie felt like he was preparing for a Titan attack. His palms were sweating as he paced his carpeted floor. Jack had a hand clenched tightly around his staff from where he sat on the edge of the bed. They'd gone over the plan multiple times, so Jamie didn't know why they were acting so nervous. Jack had good reason to be. If this went the wrong way, Jamie might be pressured into staying here with Pippa. He knew there was always the risk of losing him, but he would hate himself if he let him go so quick and needlessly. Jack's nerves were justified, and as for Jamie… well, he just hoped he wouldn't be made fun of again.

The doorbell rang too soon. Jamie's legs worked automatically as he went downstairs to let Pippa in.

"Hi," She greeted, her nails dug into the strap of her bag. She was a bit on edge, too, which made Jamie feel at least a little better.

"Hey. Um, let's go upstairs." He didn't look her in the eyes as he led the way into his bedroom. He shut the door behind them and saw Jack straighten up, staring at Pippa with an expressionless face.

"You've redecorated." Pippa noted casually, glancing around the room at the multiple band posters. "Guess I haven't been here in a while, huh?"

"It has been a long time…" He attempted to keep up the small talk. Jack hadn't said anything yet. He just sat there, watching Pippa as if she would explode at any moment.

Jamie cringed when all she offered was a hum in agreement with silence to follow. How long had it been since they had an actual conversation? Two, three years? Jamie couldn't remember. In the silence as Pippa continued to examine the posters he was reminded of how much of a terrible person he really was. He didn't know how to continue a conversation with Pippa because he… he really didn't know anything about her anymore! He called her his best friend, but they'd never actually hung out alone in years. Whenever Pippa had finally managed to drag him out of the house, she'd always had another friend tagging along. Jamie suspected it was because she feared the frequent lulls in conversations between them and needed a backup friend to change the subject.

_Bet she wishes Claude was here right __now__._ Jamie thought, clearing his throat for the umpteenth time after an apathetic "Yeah." in response to Pippa's comments on his choice in decorations. _Hell, __I__ wish he was here. This is the most awkward silence I've ever had to experience. Why can't I say something important?!_ He finally decided it was time to get on topic. Why he brought her here, and all… His words caught in his throat, though, when Pippa slung her bag from her shoulder and onto the floor, sitting down on Jamie's bed and causing Jack to move away quickly to the windowsill.

"It's freezing in here," She exhaled, rubbing her arms through her sweatshirt. "Is your room normally twenty degrees colder than the rest of the house?" She laughed a bit and Jamie did his best to return it. He glanced at Pippa again, only this time noticing things that caught his eye.

He felt a lump drop through his stomach when he saw how much Pippa had… _grown_. It had undoubtedly been a rather obvious observation, but only now Jamie was starting to really _notice_ it. When she had been standing, she was only a few inches shorter than him. Her facial features were soft, even when knit in slight nervousness. She had curves that proportionately complimented her thin physique and hair that freely draped over her shoulder, now that she wasn't constantly wearing a hat. Her modest breasts were held tightly to her body as her arms crossed over them as protection against the cold.

Jamie swallowed down his uncomfortable feelings with every observation he made. When had Pippa become so… _womanly?_ When did she stop being the little kid he had snowball fights with every day? Jamie suddenly felt very self-conscious of his own body. He felt too tall. His chest seemed too broad and his arms too long. He… he hadn't grown up as well, had he? In all the time he spent clinging to his childhood, Jamie hadn't noticed just how much of an adult he was turning into.

The realization terrified him.  
Pippa cleared her throat. "So," Her tone lost its fake casualness. "Are you just going to stand there, or are you gonna start explaining things to me?"

He was shaken from his thoughts, recovering quickly to sit down next to her. Not too close, but not so far that would make it seem like he was doing his best to get away from her. He was too good at the latter.

"Right, sorry… I just…" _C'mon, idiot. Just be honest for once in your fucking life._ "I just don't really know how to tell you in a way that won't make you hate me."

Her expression softened and her trademark concern returned. "I could never hate you, Jamie."

He gave a small smile. "Thanks." _Pippa, you fucking martyr. _Jamie bit his lip, continuing back on topic. "So… I guess I should start from the beginning, huh?"

"That would help." She nodded, reclining a bit.

"Right, well…" _Words sure are difficult things._ "I… uh. Okay. After I met with you behind the school and you left, I, uh, ran into an old friend. He brought me back to my house and then after a bit of talking I… went back to his place and I stayed there for a few days…" Had his tongue always been so dry?

She waited, as if more words in the form of an explanation could possibly make it out of his mouth alive. "…That's it?" Pippa laughed. "Damn, Jamie, if that was all that happened, you coulda told me sooner! You nearly gave me a heart attack, jeez."

"That's…ah…" Jamie finally mustered up the courage to look at Jack, who just stared back at him. The Guardian shrugged his shoulders forward and raised an eyebrow; "_Aaaand?"_

"That's not… There's a little more to it…"

She focused. "Oh?"

"The… uh, the guy I was with… well…" Jamie's throat was contracting. He looked Pippa in the eyes for a millisecond. Her worry running back through her features, she would definitely not be expecting what he was about to say.

"I was with Jack, Pippa. Jack Frost." _Damn it. Damn it, shit, cock biting motherfucker, shit dammit fuuuuuck! _He instantly wished he hadn't said a god damn thing. A flush of emotions overcame Pippa, and he read every one on her face as they transitioned in a span of 0.6 seconds; confusion, disbelief, horror, apprehension, accusation, rage. Then just as quickly, she was back to concern.

"J-Jamie…" She stared for a long time. "That's not…" She recovered surprisingly fast, just not in the direction Jamie wanted. A cold smile fell on her lips as she leaned over and swiftly picked up her bag. "Wow. That's just. Wow." Anger. Hurt. "Here I thought you wanted me over here to have a serious conversation. Fuck me for thinking you might actually be honest for once."

Jamie panicked. _Fuck dammit shit._ He stood quickly, taking hold of her shoulder before she could storm out of the room. "No, Pipp—"

"Y'know what, no!" She smacked his hand away. "I'm sick and tired of this bullshit, Jamie Bennett!"

"I'm _not lying!_" He was getting desperate, blocking the door. "You think I'm crazy, but I swear!"

"No, you _are_ crazy!" She'd finally cracked. "I'd tried to ignore it for years, Jamie, but… this is the last straw. I don't know why I even bother caring. You never acknowledge anything I ever do for you!"

"Okay," Jamie felt anger heating his face. "No offense, but you haven't really _done_ anything for me. Yeah, you worried about me and asked me to hang out all the time, but after that your efforts just stopped."

She balled her fists. "No! Are you forgetting about when you were in the hospital I—"

"You stood by my bedside every day. Yeah. Thanks for that." He spat sarcasm. "Y'know, it was nice to get that kind of support _after_ I try to kill myself. Heaven _forbid _you care about me before all that and prevent it from happening in the first place!"

Pippa faltered for a millisecond. "I didn't know anything was wrong! You wouldn't reach out to me! Or _anyone_, for that matter."

He let out a laugh of disbelief. "You think I could trust anyone enough to do that? Everywhere I turned people were laughing and calling me crazy for believing in the Guardians. My own mother even threatened to put me in a mental institution!"

"Well, if you're hell-bent on the idea that you ran away with Jack Fucking Frost, I'd say you belonged there!"

"Y'know I can't say I like this side of you, Pippa." Jamie's nervous attitude seemed like a distant memory. "I much prefer the version where you pretend to comfort me just to look like the good guy." His words were sharp; he surprised himself with his quick responses, just glad he wasn't stumbling over his own tongue anymore.

"I wasn't _pretending_!" She was dangerously close.

"Well maybe you were genuine the first few times I had a mental breakdown, but then you gave up!" He didn't know who he was trying to fool by saying he thought Pippa his best friend. The truth had finally come out. "It was like you did just enough to make it _seem_ like you were the innocent savior, but not enough to actually _do _something about the situation."

It was like all the years of built-up aggression toward her, toward his family, his friends, school, society, and life in general had finally resurfaced. It broke through the safety of his apathetic shield. His face grew hot. His anger boiled the blood rushing through his veins. Hot. Had his skin always felt like it was melting? Too hot.

Pippa didn't have a response to that. Of course he was right, damn him. She broke their eye contact. "I'm done talking with you." She snapped. "Get out of my way."

She tried to push past Jamie, who was still blocking the door.

"No!" He held his ground. "You can't just walk away from this. It's not gonna stop being an issue if you ignore it, Pippa. Haven't you had enough experience with that?"

"Jamie—" She tried again in between her words, putting both her hands on Jamie's side and pushing harder. "Stop it! Let—me—through!" He wouldn't budge, getting a proper grip on the door frame to keep him locked there.

"No! You can't keep ignoring me!" He was being assertive—no. He was downright aggressive. Had this side of him always been there? His fights with Jack never got him this upset. Why did Pippa make him so much angrier?

Her screaming was borderline panicky. "You can't _trap_ me here, Ja–mie–Benn–ett!" She gave stronger pushes to break her words. "Fucking… HELL! C'mon!" He was too strong. "Let me OUT!" Her fist raised, ready to punch him in the jaw as hard as she could.

But something stopped her.

Pippa let out a yelp. She jumped back about five feet, retracting her hand and staring at it. It was covered in a thin layer of ice. She choked on her speech. "W-wha… What the fuck?!"

Jamie looked just as surprised as she did. Only for a second, though. He was so involved in his argument with Pippa he'd forgotten Jack was still there. He moved protectively in front of Jamie, facing Pippa with his staff pointed at her. He'd been watching their exchange with keen interest, his guard up and on high alert. When things started to get physical, he'd stood, moving closer to the two teenagers in case they took it too far, which Pippa had almost done.

"That's enough." Jack's expression was dark as he directed his threatening tone at Pippa, although she couldn't hear or see him. Jamie knew that if she could, she'd be completely terrified.

She was still examining her hand, applying pressure with her left to warm it. "What…What the fuck was that?" She repeated. Her words meant to sound violent, but her confusion and fear kept the question shaking.

"…Jack…" Jamie whispered, exchanging a look with his Guardian. He didn't know whether to thank or scold him.

"What?" Pippa hadn't heard him.

Jamie turned to her. Fuck it. She already thought he was crazy. "It was Jack, Pippa. Jack Frost is literally right in front of you and if you still believed in him, you'd be able to see that he is fervently pissed off at you right now."

Her expression was back to enraged. "You're fucking insane!" She stormed forward two steps, intent on leaving for good now that Jamie was finally out of the way. She was stopped immediately.

Pippa let out a piercing scream when a jet of ice slammed into her, knocking her back and onto the floor. Ice covered her entire body, her lips had turned blue and her face showed the beginning signs of frostbite.

"Alright, Jack!" Jamie stood between them. Pippa was shaking, staring up at Jamie with absolute terror in her eyes. "I think you've scared her enough."

"I'd appreciate it," The winter guardian looked directly at Pippa with a malicious expression. "if you stopped calling him crazy."

"She can't hear you!" Jamie reminded him, exasperated. "Honestly, if she doesn't believe in you after all this I say we just fucking give up."

"Does she need more proof?" Jack tightens his grip on his staff, pointing it at her without even looking.

"NO!"

Both of them stopped. They looked down at Pippa, eyes wide.

"I… I believe in you…" She was staring up at Jack, tears starting to form in her fearful eyes. "Just… please don't shoot me with ice again."

The two boys shared a look before either of them spoke.

Jack put on a fake smile and extended a hand to the girl on the floor. "Hiya, Pippa. I don't think we've ever been properly introduced. I'm Jamie's boyfriend, Jack Frost. Yell at him again and I'll freeze you so hard you won't thaw out for another two thousand years."

"Seriously." Jamie pressed his palm against his face. "That's _seriously_ how you're gonna make your entrance?"

"Just laying down the rules, Jamie." Jack retracted his hand when Pippa didn't accept it. He straightened, throwing his staff over his shoulder and keeping on his faux calm expression.

"I…" Pippa gaped from her position on the floor. She was torn between awe and fear. "I'm sorry."

"No big deal." Jack waved away her apology casually, but it was obvious he didn't accept it.

"No, really." She finally stood, looking back from Jamie to the white-haired spirit currently picking at his fingernails, nonchalantly ignoring her. "I am… _genuinely _sorry." She spoke to Jamie then bowed her head. "For not believing you, for yelling, for calling you crazy, for almost punching you… oh god I'm fucking terrible."

"See? _She_ said it this time." Jack commented, but Jamie elbowed him in the ribs.

"And you!" She pointed at Jack. "You're actually… _real!_ You're like… a _thing_! Like, an _actual real thing!_ I can't fucking believe it! You're like here, and you're…. you're fuckin'…_here_, and…you're fucking… y-you're fucking Jamie?!" She jerked her thumb in the brunet's direction.

The two boys snapped to attention. "Woah there, sister," Jack held up a hand.

Jamie cut in. "I-it's a _long_ story, okay… ah…" He swallowed. Now that Pippa was actually willing to listen, he thought a further explanation might be in order. "Actually, the… reason he's here with me now is that we're kinda… buying time…Well, making the time we _do _have more enjoyable, actually."

"You lost me." She shook her head. "What do you mean 'the time you have'?"

"Something's gonna happen on the twenty second." Jack gave shortly.

"More specifically, something involving me."

His serious tone made Pippa even more curious. "Something… bad?"

Jamie and Jack shared another look. "We don't know." Jamie said honestly, shaking his head. "There's the possibility that the Man in the Moon—he's like, the leader of the Guardians—is going to want me turn into an Essence. Which is basically just a Guardian, minus the title."

Blatant confusion on her face, Pippa tried to make sense of this new information. "That can happen? I thought Guardians were just like… born that way, or something… Not that I really gave it any thought, but…"

"We _are_, in a way," Jack was leaning against his staff, still not looking her in the eyes. "Born like this. The Man in the Moon kinda knows everything; he sees the potential in a human child and waits until they do something to prove said potential to turn them into a proper Essence, then later, a Guardian, if they qualify. He saw something in Jamie, now we just have to wait until his eighteenth birthday to see if he does something to prove it…."

"This is all…" Pippa ran a hand through her hair anxiously. "Really overwhelming, actually… I… wow."

"Sorry…" Jamie didn't really attempt to make his apology sound sincere. "You _did _want to know why I was gone. That's why."

She looked at him. She didn't quite get it yet. "Because you were… preparing, or …?"

"Like he said," Jack didn't let Jamie answer. He'd finally looked up from the details of his staff. His blue eyes met her brown ones. "We're just enjoying the time we have before it happens. The only thing we're sure of is we have four days until _something _happens. We can't prepare for anything, unless we somehow figure out a way to stop time." Jack gave that a moment of thought, as if the idea of time travel seemed like a legitimate solution. All they really needed was a police box—

"We've just been hanging out, honestly." Jamie chimed in, shrugging his shoulders forward. "The irony is that the few days before a potential disaster have been the most content time of my life."

Jack smiled a bit to himself before getting back on topic. "And anyway, if I'm right, there won't even _be_ a disaster. The accusation that Jamie has Essence Potential was a fifty-fifty possibility. The Man in the Moon knows a lot of things, but even after centuries of watching over Earth and its inhabitants he can't predict our future. And if it turns out that MiM's right and Jamie _will_ become an Essence, I'll be there to make sure nothing hurts him."

"Hurts him?" Pippa's attention rose. "Is this going to be dangerous?" She turned to the brunet, who avoided her eye contact.

"You don't need to worry." Jack took an instinctive step closer to Jamie. "I've got it under control." His words had a threatening undertone.

Pippa was about to protest, but luckily Jamie backed his Guardian up. "He's right, Pippa. I'll be fine. 'I trust Jack with my _life_', and all that clichéd action movie crap." He chuckled.

She was very quiet, thinking over all she'd been told, the confusion slowly melting off her face. "No, I… I know you'll be okay. I trust him too, y'know."

Jack's defenses lowered in surprise. "You do?"

"Yeah." She nodded with affirmation. "If you mean so much to Jamie, I guess I've got no choice but to believe you'll keep him safe." She smirked a little. "Besides, you _did_ protect us from the Nightmare King seven years ago. It's only smart to trust a superhero."

Jack didn't react for a moment, but eventually managed out a grin in return. Jamie felt ecstatic. After all these years, it was the most incredible relief to finally be taken seriously. He couldn't stay mad at her, hell he wanted to flat-out hug her. Their conversation over, they said goodbye. Pippa promised to keep Jack a secret; for once the Guardian preferred to only be seen by Jamie right now. She'd apologized for her misbehavior for the millionth time before she finally left.

Jamie shut the door behind her, waiting until he heard the slam of the front door closing to exhale. He then let a grin slide up his face, turning to Jack.

"We did it." He laughed with his Guardian before tackling him onto the bed in a tight hug. He fell on top of Jack.

"We did it." The winter spirit repeated, chuckling at Jamie's adorable smile. "Wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Nope." Jamie nuzzled his forehead into Jack's neck. "Thanks for stopping us when you did." He gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

The Guardian smiled into the action. "You're welcome."

The two of them lay there a few moments, his hands wrapped around the teenager's waist while Jamie played with Jack's snow-white hair.

The Guardian let out a big sigh of exaggerated relief. "No more Pippa."

Jamie chuckled, adding his own "No more school."

Jack turned on an innocently casual voice. "Good grief, what are we gonna _do_ all weekend?" He slowly moved his hand to the hem of Jamie's shirt, letting his fingers lightly grip Jamie's torso.

"Dunno." Jamie just-as-casually let his lips graze the skin below Jack's ear. "My mom's gonna be at work almost all weekend…" The teenager moved smoothly, sitting up and swinging his leg around Jack's lap to straddle him. He leaned down, twirling Jack's hoodie string between his fingers and whispering in his ear. "We can do _whatever we want._"

Jack grinned at this as Jamie swooped in, hooking the Guardian's mouth with a series of deep kisses.

To say Jack was looking forward to the rest of the weekend would be a complete understatement. He'd been waiting all day for this.

* * *

**coming up _next_ on "Wow I Didn't Think This Fanfic Could Get Any Worse": first NSFW chapter! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay sex.**

**but yeah changing the rating to M+ latr so. yeah. if you guys cant handle the heat get out of the warp core i mean what no that wasn't a star trek reference hahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah it's 2:34 in the morning.**

**hey did u guys know theres a link to my tumblr on my profile and you can totally follow me at any time 100% free yeah wow what a concept **

**i love you all tell your friends about this story kay bye i'm goin to Warped Tour**


	17. Chapter 17 - NSFW warning

Jamie's mother had come home at just the wrong time. They heard the click of the front door and her call up to his bedroom.

"Jamie, I'm home!" The familiar greeting rang. "Sophie's at her friend's house until dinner. I was thinking spaghetti, would that be alright?"

The teenager rose from kissing his Guardian, turning his head reluctantly in the direction of the door. He looked down at Jack and both of them shared a weak smile; of _course_ they'd be interrupted now… The winter spirit shook his head, chuckling softly as he relaxed his hands behind his head.

"That would be awesome, mom." Jamie shouted, half-heartedly veiling his sarcasm and annoyance. He didn't move from his straddling position on Jack's waist. "But, y'know… I'm not really hungry."

"You sure?" Her tone rang concerned.

"Yeah, I, uh, had a big lunch…"

Jack gave him a look. "You haven't eaten all day."

"And whose fault is that?" Jamie muttered to him.

"Yours."

"Shut up."

Jamie's mother hesitated before calling back. "Well, alright…."

The sound of her stepping upstairs and into her room next door finally caused Jamie to slump over, resting his forehead on Jack's chest.

"Bonerkill…" He groaned, slinking his arms around Jack's torso to hold him.

"If we were at the Ice Palace right now this wouldn't be a problem." Jack mused aloud.

"Hey, dude, you're the one who wanted to stay here." Jamie pointed out, tugging at his frost-covered hoodie string.

"Yeah, yeah… I suppose now would be a bad time to say I regret that decision."

Jamie punched his chest lightly. "You're an asshole." He chuckled.

A few minutes of silence, the sound of Jamie's mother moving around in the next room could be heard through the thin walls. Jack listened to Jamie's breathing. It wasn't as slow as when he was sleeping, but Jack preferred hearing his conscious breath. Being by Jamie's side as he slept every night was hypnotic and calming, but sometimes Jack wished Sandy would knock _him_ out once in a while. He'd forgotten what it was like to sleep.

It comforted Jack; seeing Jamie so peaceful. He was quiet, his mind probably wandering off and thinking about who-knows-what. He wasn't shouting or stressing over anything like he often did when he was awake. This was the side of Jamie Jack needed to see more of. Calm. Content.

He knew there were things about Jamie he disliked. His hot temper and manic depression, to name a few. It was unsettling seeing the boy he lov—_cared_ _about_—so dissatisfied with life in general. If Jamie kept up his I-Hate-The-World attitude, the idea of becoming an Essence might start looking more and more appealing…

"Hey, Jamie…" Jack spoke up. His hands had found their way back to the teenager's hair out of habit.

"Hmm?" He hummed a reply, cheek resting against the Guardian's chest and listening to his heartbeat. It was…hollow, slow and faint… Jamie could barely tell it was there… _Weird…_

Jack was hesitant in his request. "Can I… listen to your music?"

Jamie sat up. He looked at the winter spirit for a moment, taking in his cautious expression with a contemplative one. After a few seconds, the brunet leaned across Jack, reaching for his bedside table. He unwound the earphones from his iPod, putting one in his ear and offering the other to Jack.

The Guardian broke out into a smile, taking it and snuggling up at the head of the bed next to Jamie, waiting for him to pick a song.

Jamie's hands shook as he scrolled through his endless supply of music. It was one thing deciding what to listen to on your own… but choosing the right song for other people was a bigger issue altogether.

He bit his lip, ignoring Jack looking over his shoulder at the song titles as they flew by. Jamie's finger hovered over one song for a second longer and then reconsidered, beginning the cycle of indecisive scrolling again. This went on for another minute, Jack patiently waiting while the teenager racked his brain for the perfect song.

_Okay, definitely no Broadway musicals…_ Jamie thought, flicking past his various selections of Original Soundtracks. Talk about an embarrassing collection. Should he just… play whatever? Maybe just his favorite song? Oh god what was his favorite song? Why did he have so many bands to choose from?! Oh god oh god this is ridiculous it's just a fucking song. Okay. Calm down. Just… choose!

Jamie's finger pressed hard on the button, selecting a song from his "Shit That Doesn't Suck" playlist. He tensed up a bit when the first few beats of _Stella_ pounded through his ear.

Good. Nothing too serious. Nothing too bubblegum. Nothing too gooey-romantic (He had a surprising surplus of the dumb love-y stuff. Not that he would admit that to anyone, though). Just light, upbeat, casual All Time Low.

Jack began bobbing his head almost instantly and Jamie resisted the urge to do the same. He cast occasional glances over at him, biting his lip and worried out of his mind that Jack wouldn't like it, but the winter spirit was grinning, taking in the beat and chords and lyrics appropriately. When the song ended, Jamie paused the device quickly so the next song wouldn't play. He supposed that was enough for one day… Jack was probably just acting like he was enjoying what he was listening to for Jamie's sake. He wouldn't want to hear any more—

The smile remained on Jack's face. "That wasactually _really good_."

"Really?" Jamie blinked.

He nodded. "Yeah! I'm not too picky about music, Jamie. I'm probably going to love everything you've got on there."

So basically Jack just got a look at 1/10,000th of Jamie's heart and… he was handling it better than expected.

"Well, ah… that's not one of their best songs but yeah it is pretty awesome…" Jamie's nervousness was subsiding a bit.

"Well, what's their best song?" Jack seemed genuinely curious, which brought a smile to Jamie's lips.

"Oh, don't even get me started…"

•

Jamie had fallen asleep curled up next to Jack, one earphone in and listening to the more beautifully dark side of his musical collection. Jack was tempted to turn the music off once he noticed Jamie sleeping soundly next to him, but stopped when the next song started up and caught his attention. It was slow, and a mellow piano struck a few keys before the vocals came. The song became more beautiful as it progressed, its affect strengthening as Jack paid more attention to the lyrics… _Lead Me Out Of The Dark_.

He found himself lost in the flowing melody. So much so that it started lulling him into a meditation until he, too, drifted off to sleep.

•

Jamie was dreaming. At least, it seemed like a dream. He wasn't having a nightmare, but… damn, it was unsettling.

It started out like the dream he had a few nights ago. Jack and Tooth in her Palace. But this time the scene was more focused on Jack. His words were clear and stood out more than they did before.

"_Hey, Tooth, can Guardians die?"_

"…_people would stop believing in me and I'd eventually die? Like, for real this time?"_

"_Why would I want to die?...My life is awesome!"_

Then the scene shifted, and a new one took its place. Jack was still there, Toothiana was speaking to him. She was leaning close to him, a look of concern and caution on her face. They weren't at the Palace and everything looked incredibly dark. Jamie couldn't hear their conversation well until he began focusing.

"…and you've been alone for a really long time…" The Queen Tooth Fairy used that honey-sweet voice she was known for. "I just don't know if you're handling this well…"

The conversation jumped, like scratches on a video tape, and Jamie could only make out a few bits between the static.

Jack's words were bitter. "Things were fine until—" "Now we're leaving them and I—" "After all we did we're just—" "Jamie doesn't deserve this—"

Tooth's side of the discussion was foggy; her words were muffled and then normal again in an instant. "—you don't have to be on your own again."

Jamie could barely sort out what happened next. Whether his dream skipped a few moments or not, he wasn't sure. But the next thing he saw was Jack reaching for his fellow Guardian and pulling her close, kissing her as if his life depended on it.

Jamie's mind reeled, and in the haze of his dream the scene changed again without warning. This time it was him and Jack in his bedroom. The images and sounds were crisp, and Jamie was facing his Guardian, his words flowing out on their own automatically.

"I don't trust you. I've known for a long time that I don't. You're so reserved, Jack. You never tell people what's really hurting you. Or what could hurt other people."

Jack offered no response, and the scene flickered a few seconds.

"You've been hiding it from me." Jamie murmured.

"I don't see why it matters." Jack's fists were clenched and he avoided Jamie's eye contact.

"You're basically lying straight to my face about all of it!"

"It's not lying if you've never asked me directly."

"So you just thought it would be a good idea to leave out one _very important_ detail about the night you became an Essence?"

"You got the general idea!"

"You _died,_ Jack! You didn't just suddenly _transform_ into this magical immortal being right before you suffocated. You actually, properly died!"

"That doesn't matter. I'm fine now, aren't I?"

"Is the same thing going to happen to me?"

Jack didn't answer.

Jamie took a step forward, desperation in his eyes as he grabbed the unresponsive Guardian's arm. "Am I going to die, Jack?"

"What do you care?!" He snapped, glaring at him. "You were so eager to die before. How is this any different from wanting to do it yourself?"

Jamie was in shock. "You… you don't have the fucking _right_ to say that!"

"Don't I?" Jack was inches from his face. "Think you're the only one here who's wanted to fucking die?"

And Jamie woke up in a cold sweat.

He sat there for a while, shaking and rubbing his head, trying to clear his brain. _Holy shit._ His breathing was heavy. _What the fuck was that, Sandman?_ But he received no answer. A dream that psychologically tormenting could definitely qualify as a nightmare, but Jamie didn't feel like his latest unconscious journey had been the work of Pitch Black.

It was only after flopping back down on the pillow and taking a few more deep breaths did Jamie notice that Jack wasn't awake.

"Wha—?" He wondered aloud, tilting his head. _But… Jack doesn't…sleep…_ Maybe Jamie was hallucinating. He glanced at the clock. Six in the morning. Yeah, way too early. Whatever was going on could wait until he was well-rested. But as soon as his eyes closed he was reminded of his nightmarish dream.

Jamie let out an aggravated sigh; no more sleep today, then. He sat up once more, casting another glance at the sleeping Guardian. Did Jamie look this cute when he was sleeping? Doubtful. He gave Jack's nose a light bop, chuckling when the spirit's face scrunched up and burrowed into the pillow.

"You adorable motherfucker." Jamie kept his voice low. He frowned when the image of Jack kissing Toothiana flashed back through his memory. Did that actually happen? No, it was just a dream… Was it? What was the Sandman trying to tell him? What was that fake argument about? The rush of information was giving Jamie a headache. He'd be surprised if he could make sense of any of it. …One thing did stick out to him, however, and it was his underlying thought through the whole dream; He really didn't trust Jack. Not completely…

•

Jack woke up about four hours later. Jamie had been spacing out and listening to his music by then, having spent the majority of that time poking various parts of Jack and watching him react unconsciously. Hours of entertainment.

The Guardian's eyes opened slowly. A hand went up to rub his eyes before realizing what was going on. "Woah," He blinked. "Did that really just happen?"

"What? You sleeping?" Jamie removed his headphones, grinning down at Jack's surprised face. "Yeah. It was cute as hell."

Jack smirked and then let out a yawn. "That was weird." He stretched. "What time is it?"

"Ten." Jamie answered shortly. He was sitting up, his back to Jack as he fumbled with his iPod. There was a "Wow," from Jack in response. Jamie continued to mess with the device until he let out a yelp when he felt Jack grab him from the waist and pull him down onto the bed.

"J-Jesus!" Jamie exclaimed, recovering quickly when Jack nuzzled into his neck and kissed there softly. "What was that for?" The teenager smiled despite himself.

"I had a dream about you."

"Was it dirty?"

Jack laughed. "No. It was cute, though."

Jamie took a deep breath, turning over on his side and closing his eyes. "Tell me about it."

"There wasn't really much to it…" Jack began. "Just us. Lying here like we normally do. But… we were a lot happier." Jamie opened his eyes. "We weren't worried about the future, near or distant… We just… lied there. Not a care in the world…"

There was a few seconds of silence before Jamie responded. "I'd like that." He mumbled.

"Me too…" Jack rested his forehead on Jamie's, closing his eyes as they lay there, every worry weighing down their peace.

• (NSFW warning.)

It was past noon before they decided to do anything, Jack only getting an idea upon seeing the dusty game console plugged into Jamie's television. They messed around with his small selection of video games for a few hours, though Jamie spent half that time teaching Jack the controls. Once he got the hang of it, Jamie went easy on him. It wasn't hard seeing how he'd almost forgotten how to play, himself. Plus, Jack acted really adorable whenever he won, so Jamie had all the more reason to let him. They had fun, and it was a nice distraction from the terrible things they had to think over that morning.

They'd almost forgotten they weren't the only two people in the world when Jamie's mother knocked on his bedroom door.

"Yeah?" Jamie responded automatically, not pausing the game or looking away from it.

She ducked her head in. "Jamie, I'm going out for a bit. Can you watch Sophie while I'm gone?"

"Yeah." He repeated monotonously. She uttered a "Thanks," in response before leaving.

Jamie glanced over at Jack, a thought occurring to him. "How did she not notice the floating controller?"

Jack had his eyes glued to the screen. "I don't think she could see it."

"Really?"

"Yeah… I don't know why, but any inanimate object I hold or wear, or whatever, turns invisible too. That's why people can't see my staff or clothes."

"Your clothes, huh?" Jamie raised an eyebrow, idea forming. "So if you took them off, people'd be able to see them?"

Jack put down his controller. "I dunno…" He shifted to face Jamie, lifting up the edge of his hoodie with an exaggerated seductive expression. "Wanna test that theory?"

"You dumbass." Jamie chuckled, but kissed him anyway. Jack's hands wrapped around the teenager's neck as Jamie leaned over him.

They went at it for a while, their video game forgotten, biting lips and necks and occasionally forgetting to breathe. Jamie managed to get Jack's shirt halfway off before Jack took control, pulling Jamie to the floor and straddling him. He tore off the remainder of his hoodie and dove down for more kisses, taking Jamie's shirt in the process.

At this point neither of them wanted to stop when they felt pressure growing in their partner's jeans. In fact the sensation drove them to intensify their actions. The biting got messier, the kisses fuller. Jack's hands gripped Jamie's waist as the teenager ran his hands through his white hair. The light of the TV cast red glow across their bare skin.

They could actually do it this time. They weren't in a rusty shower stall; Jamie's carpeted floor was a nice alternative. No one to stop them, nowhere to be. Nothing in their way…

Except Jamie's god damn brain, of course.

_Am I ready for this?_ Jamie worried internally as Jack kissed his neck._ Of course I am, idiot! It's Jack! No one has ever made me feel this crazy in my life._ He shuddered when Jack pressed their hips together again.

_But no one's ever done this to me before…Am I over thinking this? Fuck, yeah I am. Shut up, brain! Just let him—oh god._ His mind became a temporary blur when he felt the ecstatic sensation of Jack's growing erection grinding against his own between the fabrics of their pants.

"Jesus Christ…" Jamie mumbled into the nape of Jack's neck. He let out a moan as the winter spirit bit at the skin above his collarbone. His cold tongue licked at the reddening spot, his lips kissing the fresh hickey. Jack's actions were drawn out; savoring every taste he got of Jamie's hot skin.

The teenager felt complete sensory overload. His eyes were half-lidded at the feeling of cold hands tracing his arched back. His kisses with Jack were deep, sloppy, and urgent. When lips weren't tangled together, they were exploring various sensitive nooks of their partner's upper body.

Jamie had a hard time keeping track of all that was going on. He moaned as he felt Jack's freezing fingers curl to nails and leave long, red scratches down Jamie's bare back.

The sudden realization of how fast their actions were progressing hit Jamie hard.

Then Jack's right hand—smooth, cold, delicate—slid from Jamie's chest down to his pants. His stomach lurched as the Guardian's fingers slowly undid the button and zipper caging in the trying bulge. Jack continued to kiss him as now both his hands went to the task of removing his jeans.

Jamie's brain began panicking, and of course his thoughts consisted of scenes from his dream that morning. Why had it been so confusing? Should he not have taken it so seriously and just moved on? Maybe then he wouldn't be in this situation, shattering words pounding in his brain on repeat; _I don't trust you. I don't trust you. I don't fucking trust you. _Over and over again. Jamie shut his eyes tight, as if he could block out the nagging worry in the pit of his stomach. _Enjoy this. Forget about that idiotic dream and how Jack may or may not have kissed the Tooth Fairy and could possibly be lying to you about what really might happen in three days. Yup. Nothing to be suspicious about_…

_Fuck._

Jamie pulled away from the Guardian's kiss, his whole body retracting instinctively.

"Jack, wait." His mouth moved before he could help it. He did a good job of not sounding as panicked as he felt, but Jack heard the significance in the command and withdrew his hands from the teenager's jeans. The atmosphere changed from lustful to awkward in a matter of milliseconds. The hot, heavy breathing that turned them on so much now sounded raspy and frantic. Jamie had tensed up but Jack didn't want to move until he was completely sure things were going south.

"What's wrong?" Jack tried not to appear crestfallen. He locked eyes with Jamie and saw the nervousness veiled there.

"I don't think we should do this." The brunet didn't rush his words, but they sounded too immediate for his liking.

Jack would be lying if he said he didn't expect that reaction, but he put on a concerned expression as he shifted his weight, getting off Jamie and sitting beside him. The teenager sat up, rubbing the nape of his neck uncomfortably.

"Alright." Jack wasn't annoyed, thank God. "Why?"

_Why? Because the Sandman's been fucking with my brain and I hate myself for letting it get to me in the middle of __**fucking foreplay**__. _Jamie's inner monologue screamed. He looked anywhere but Jack's piercing blue eyes. "I…just…I don't think we should…go all the way…right…now?" He cringed at how awful his thoughts sounded out loud. "I mean… sex is kind of…serious? And… I just…" _Shoot me. Actually shoot me in the fucking temple right now; I sound like a complete idiot. _Jamie felt physical pain from his words alone.

Luckily, Jack was incredibly patient. He gave Jamie the chance to finish, but when the teenager ran out of words he attempted to translate. "So… you're not ready?"

"N-no, I am… more than ready, really, ah, but…" There was no way he was going to tell him he didn't want to have sex because of a dream he had scared him. "I just think our first time should be something…special…" Oh, god, he sounded like a sappy teenage romance novel. "I-I mean… My mom could be back any minute and Sophie's still here so I dunno I just don't think now's the right… time…" He let his words fade off, glancing down at the floor again.

"Something special…" Jack repeated, a small grin on his face. He thought for a moment before nodding. "Alright. If that's what you want, Jamie." He leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Although," Jack looked into his eyes, mischievous glint present in his own. "I do have a compromise…"

He gave Jamie's lips another kiss before leaning closer and whispering in his ear. "Just tell me when you want me to stop." And with that, he began.

It started at the mouth, the kiss there was deep, Jack's tongue grazing the back of Jamie's throat. Then he moved, licking along Jamie's jaw line until he got to his earlobe and bit. Down his neck Jack's lips ventured. By that point, Jamie's erection had begun hardening again. He moved his hands to Jack's back, digging his nails in when the spirit's tongue flicked down his chest at an agonizingly slow pace. When Jack's kisses had reached his cloth-covered bulge, Jamie wasted no time in helping Jack remove the remainder of his clothing. The contact of Jack's freezing lips pressing down on his heated erection was unsettling at first and Jamie inhaled sharply. But soon the burning and freezing temperatures of their contrasting body heat evened out.

There was no way Jamie was going to let him stop now.

The teenager's moaning became heavier when Jack began his work. His fingers tangled in his snow-white hair as the spirit's head bobbed. Jack hollowed out his cheeks, sucking what he could while his hands remained at Jamie's thin waist. Jamie felt waves of electricity and held in his groan when Jack's tongue circled the head of his cock and then went back down to scrape his full length lightly with his teeth. He couldn't help himself from thrusting his hips forward, deeper into his Guardian's mouth.

"Jesus…fucking Christ." Jamie murmured in-between his panting, his words shaking. "Jack…"

Jack knew what he was doing. Oh, god, did he knew _exactly_ how to use that tongue of his. Jamie felt the uncontrollable urge to hump Jack's face harder and harder, but held it back with much difficulty.

Jack had his own erection in hand, pumping it in time to his head motions and humming into Jamie's cock. The vibrations drove the teenager insane. Jamie was close to coming, he could tell. The familiar heat in his gut built up until he knew he only had a few seconds.

"J-Jack, fuck…" His voice cracked as the spirit only sucked harder, his motions quickening as he tasted the precum leaking out. "I… I'm gonna—" He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence as he had to bite his own lip near to the point of drawing blood to avoid screaming as he reached climax. Jack didn't miss a beat, swallowing up the cum now flowing from Jamie's cock until it sputtered to a stop, leaving the teenager shaking as Jack licked clean the rest of the mess and finish himself off a few seconds later, ejaculating into his hand and doing his best to keep it off the carpet.

After a while of them catching their breath, Jack looked at Jamie. "How was that?" He asked with a confident grin on his face.

Jamie glanced at him, still panting, and gave a laugh, barely able to answer. "That was one hell of a compromise, Jack."

* * *

**document title: "why_did_i_do_this"**

**(im sorry its late and i half-assed it and its really fucking long please be kind.)**


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